In light of Hannah’s story and Heath’s outrageous attempts to control and manipulate her, I’d like to share my email correspondence with Heath about this issue. These emails were exchanged AFTER Heath convinced her to return to campus when she first quit. Only the names have been changed. Hannah reports that she was banned from communicating with me as a term of her probation; it was not her choice as Heath says below.
September 21st, 2010
RA,
Hannah has told me to tell you that she no longer wishes to have any communication with you.
If you have any questions about this, let me know.
Sincerely,
Heath Stoner
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry
__________________________________________________
Heath,
I wasn’t aware that you are Hannah’s legal guardian now. How lucky for her!
It seems you’ve turned Hannah into a pawn in some kind of imagined game with me. I’m not playing your games. Hannah is the one that initiated contact with me. She is the one that asked me to help her leave because of the mistreatment she received at the hands of her CA, DD, and others. Unlike you, I have never forced her to do something.
She is an adult and is able to make her own decisions. My conscience is clear. I have done nothing against her will or that was not in her best interest.
You cannot say the same.
RA
__________________________________________________
October 5, 2010
RA,
Hannah informed me that you emailed her on Thursday. She does not want you to communicate with her in the future. Please respect her wishes as she is trying to distance herself from you.
Sincerely,
Heath Stoner
Director of HA Operations
903.324.8052
__________________________________________________
My relationship with Hannah is none of your business. I don’t answer to you.
RA
__________________________________________________
RA,
Hannah has asked me to let you know this. I, Heath Stoner, am only passing along what Hannah is asking. Should you choose to not honor Hannah’s wishes that is totally up to you. She has now asked you, via me, on multiple occasions to NOT contact her. Just to be clear it is NOT Heath Stoner asking you to not contact her, this is HANNAH asking you to not contact her.
Heath Stoner
Director of HA Operations
903.324.8052
__________________________________________________
October 11, 2010
I know we discussed this at the entrance of Teen Mania a few weeks ago, but I wanted to be clear, you are not allowed on the campus of Teen Mania. If you come on the campus, the police will be called immediately as you will be considered to be trespassing.
I am saddened we have had to take this step but your actions on campus recently and your unethical involvement with current interns have required us to take this step.
Sincerely,
Heath Stoner
Director of HA Operations
903.324.8052
32 comments:
Eric said…
Now that’s honorable!!!!
Dear Heath:
Liar, liar,
Pants on fire,
Nose as long
As a telephone wire!
Do you need a
Pacifier?
February 4, 2011 7:51 AM
Anonymous said…
Okay, I’m just going to put this out there: why would an almost 20 year old woman ask someone else to speak for her? Isn’t Heath violating the “rule” of allowing someone to confront someone privately about a situation?
February 4, 2011 10:18 AM
Nunquam Honorablus said…
…
“your unethical involvement with current interns”?
Sounds like projection.
February 4, 2011 10:58 AM
Candor said…
Wow. During my year at the cult, I never heard many interns complain about Heath (that was 10 years ago). I didn’t really know anything about him other than he was misogynistic. I had no idea he was also a bully and a liar. Unreal.
February 4, 2011 12:20 PM
Future Cult Leader said…
How do people not see what is going on at Teen Mania Ministries? I just don’t get it.
I’m taking furious notes on how to set up my abusive non profit of manipulation and financial strong arming of my “volunteers”.
February 4, 2011 2:09 PM
jeff said…
Sheesh, this guy speaks for Hannah presumptuously with such lies that I can’t even be certain if he recognizes his b.s. He may just be deluded enough to think he’s acting ethically!
Or there may be some little corner of his brain with a nagging, prodding thought such as, “It can’t possibly be good that I am this cruel and manipulative with a twisted view of reality.”
(sarcasm) But I bet he’s spot on when he thinks he’s speaking for the Lord, huh?
They really paint a pretty picture with their p.r. work when presenting HA to churches and parents I bet. I can just imagine the glowing testimonials and great music in their video presentations.
They certainly won’t show testimony that Stoner will level false accusations at people who try to help their kids.
They certainly won’t show that they will take total control of these kids’ life and try to break them with physical challenges when they are already injured such as they did to Hannah.
They certainly will not show that they are not above bullying, lying, and twisting the truth to serve there own purposes either, I bet.
February 4, 2011 2:15 PM
hecametolifttheshame said…
I am completely shocked….I also attended HA many years ago (12 years ago) and Heath Stoner was an advisor, but that’s where it ended. It’s obvious to me that if Teen Mania cannot handle serious issues that are prevalent with today’s young adults and teens, that they should only accept near perfect people into their program. One counselor for 500 people is bizarre to me. And a counselor who violates patient doctor confidentiality is against the law. There needs to be more emphasis on healthy views of Jesus, his love and grace for us, and healing than on how to hide your faults so you don’t get in trouble. I hate that interns are taught to fake spiritual health.
February 4, 2011 2:20 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Anonymous – excellent point! I hadn’t even thought of that.
hecametolifttheshame – great name!
February 4, 2011 3:34 PM
Shiloh said…
Wow.
Cult.
I can’t believe it actually came to this but it’s true. Teen Mania is a cult. And not even a Christian cult. They’re just effed up. Badly.
February 4, 2011 6:48 PM
Nunquam Honorablus said…
Future Cult Leader- I think what’s so hard to see is that this organization that we all believed in is hardly what it seemed at first.
I can imagine that people are heartbroken upon getting a peek behind the curtain, so to speak. Just today, I saw a friend link this blog on his Facebook. He said something along the lines of “I don’t even know what to believe anymore”.
Dude, it’s confusing stuff. TM Leadership was like family to a lot us. They were like our parents, our older siblings, our aunts and uncles. And then to see them do something like this? Of course we’d want to defend them.
I think that’s what they call Stockholm, though.
So yeah tl;dr it’s not ignorance so much as an attempt to cope, a lot of times. I think.
Just my two cents.
February 4, 2011 7:04 PM
Shiloh said…
Nunquam I missed you! 🙂
February 4, 2011 7:29 PM
Nunquam Honorablus said…
ONVM MY FRIEND TOOK IT OFF HIS PAGE
Still. The sentiment’s there.
Bawww Shiloh I missed you too c:
February 4, 2011 7:38 PM
Shannon Kish said…
I know I shouldn’t be but I am still shocked at the lengths that the leadership of TM will go to in order to cover up their lies, abuses, and cult-like bullshit.
February 4, 2011 7:43 PM
Shiloh said…
Shannon – I just want to say that I like you a lot. 🙂 I’m SO GLAD you’re around. You’ve really inspired me to stand up for what’s right.
And – I’m kinda shocked too. But glad cause they actually crossed a line that is undeniable. I am telling everyone I know.
February 4, 2011 8:24 PM
Krista said…
Here’s the deal that’s always bothered me about TM. Why the huge push to MAKE people stay? If someone decides they need/want to leave, why do they throw such a fit? Jesus, for one, never forced anyone to follow him…much the opposite in fact. I know TMM would try to excuse this behavior by saying that the person would be “missing their calling” or “not honoring their commitment” by leaving, but pretending that they know better than (or can speak for) the individual in these types of situations is patronizing at best and controlling/manipulative at worst.
February 4, 2011 8:42 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Krista – They have to make people stay because their entire operation depends on it. If interns could leave whenever they wanted, their entire “ministry” would fall apart. In order to successfully run a business or non-profit, you need a reliable workforce. Most people use a paycheck to keep their workers. Since Teen Mania doesn’t/won’t do that, they have to find a way to MAKE people stay. After all, they can only get new workers 2x a year. Can you imagine the havoc it would wreak on their plans if they didn’t know how big their labor force would be for the following year? They wouldn’t know how to plan for how many ATFs, how many people could call in each department to get the required numbers, etc. So – its not really about keeping a commitment to God, its about keeping the organization going at all costs.
February 4, 2011 10:06 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Apparently, just this past month TM leadership used this verse to heap more guilt on interns who might be thinking of leaving…
“Proverbs 12:22 God hates those who don’t keep their word.”
Nice!
February 4, 2011 10:24 PM
Future Cult Leader said…
Nunquam – Believe me when I say that I know what you mean. I idolized Hasz. I thought he was the best. I even remember not really liking Ron Luce that much and just hoped that RL would abandon ship and just let us listen to Hasz. In my 3rd year I finally had to work directly with Ron Luce and the Executive office and I finally realized how dopey he was. He wouldn’t relinquish control of our main focus and project as a department and it frustrated the hell out of all of us. Our product sucked and it was directly RLs fault for not letting go.
By the time it came for me to quit TMM and walk away I was more afraid of how TMM would view me than God. Hell – by that point God was only a product really that had been sold to me – who knows what the real God looked like – I was so confused, so exhausted, so over-worked, so angry over stuff happening in my department and things with my life at the cult and then being a full time student on top of it.
I literally had a nervous breakdown. Then afterwards still living in the Tyler area and seeing TMM people, and especially never hearing from my “friends” at the compound after I left – it was devastating. I had serious negative effects still lingering in my soul until I found this blog and realized what TMM really was. Would I go back 10 years ago and stop me from going? Maybe. Its unfortunate that all these years later the friends I hoped to have from there aren’t as abundant as I’d like. Sure there are the Facebook friends – but really – what do those really mean in 2011? My CA from my 2nd semester wouldn’t even respond to my FB messages about a year ago just when I was trying to shoot the breeze and get some info about him. It was a head scratcher for sure and this was a GI i had tons of respect for à la Commander Hasz.
It is weird and tough when the things you knew start fading away. Yet as I reach the 10 year mark since TMM a lot has faded and most importantly anything left with vibrant colors and texture are things I’ve chosen to retain.
February 4, 2011 11:55 PM
Esther said…
Oh my.
February 5, 2011 12:10 AM
Eric said…
@RA– To make matters worse, Proverbs 12:22 actually says, “The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.” (Um, truthful, Heath?)
I don’t know what the heck translation they think they’re quoting, but it’s not anywhere that I could find in any of my references. (Check Biblegateway.com and Bible.cc — it ain’t there.) So there’s another lie, about what the Bible says about lying. Man alive.
February 5, 2011 3:10 PM
Maurice Moss said…
@RA: TM has been using that verse to deter interns from leaving for ages. The big one is the story in Joshua about how the Gibeonites trick Joshua into making a bad promise to them, and Joshua keeps the promise, even though it was to his disadvantage.
February 5, 2011 4:47 PM
Nunquam Honorablus said…
Woah.
Eric are you serious.
Dude I never even thought to question that.
Damn.
February 5, 2011 6:01 PM
Drew Kimble said…
I believe there are two reasons behind trying to guilt people into staying at TM.
1. RA, this blog and all of us who are constantly spreading the word about all the abuse that has happened and is currently happening.
2. M O N E Y money money money! The love of money is the root to all kinds of evil. They market to a specific group and turn a profit, all in the name of Christ of course….
Their foundations are slowly but surly being chipped away it because of those who stand for truth!
February 5, 2011 6:07 PM
drew said…
…I don’t know how that extra “it” slipped in up there….but it shouldn’t be there…
February 5, 2011 6:08 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
@Eric and Nunquam – I’ve looked into this more today and the NLT does say, “The LORD hates those who don’t keep their word” but it took me a long time to find that…and that translation didn’t come out until 1996…its definitely not a common translation. Plus, the way he used it is way out of context. But I’ll address that soon…
February 5, 2011 8:14 PM
Anonymous said…
I go by KJV and it says “Lying lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight”. I take this to mean that someone who lies with the intent to deceive is viewed as an abomination. If a person promises to do something but then decides not to do it because they intentionally want to hurt someone (or derail something) then I think that kind of situation would fall under that verse. However, I would think that an intern leaving the HA is not doing so because they are intent on hurting the ministry but rather because they changed their mind and decided the HA is not for them. If we took that verse to literally mean that every person who breaks their word is hated by the Lord than every person who has ever left a job they didn’t like or gotten out of a bad marriage would be hated by the Lord since both of those examples require giving your word (and other paperwork 😉 ).
February 5, 2011 9:13 PM
Eric said…
@RA– That must be an older edition of the NLT. The 2007 revision (the one on BibleGateway and the only one you can get in stores now) has, like all the other major translations, “The Lord detests lying lips….”
So in short, to coerce interns to stay on campus, they’re appealing to an unusual phrasing of an outdated edition of a niche translation (based on a 1971 paraphrase) of an out-of-context verse that’s actually speaking against what they’re doing. And there you have it.
February 5, 2011 11:18 PM
Shiloh said…
(In context to Erics comment.) TEEN MANIA’S AN EFFIN CULT!
February 6, 2011 1:32 AMEric said…
FYI, the change was apparently made in the second edition (which was made “to increase the level of precision”), so it has not been in the NLT since 2004. http://www.newlivingtranslation.com/05discoverthenlt/faqs.asp?faq=3#go3February 6, 2011 11:11 AM
Jayme Wass said…
Ok, I totally have to admit, while this is so totally and utterly ubsurd and rediculous as well as sad and pathetic, that it made me laugh and be filled with anger and pity all at the same time. Its like watching a tantrum thrown by a two year old because someone told them no…..so….so sad.
February 6, 2011 12:38 PM
jami c. said…
Except that my almost three year old is held to a higher level of accountability!!!
February 6, 2011 1:12 PM
Krista said…
I agree, Jayme…watching TMM’s and Heath’s reaction to RA and this blog does seem similar to watching a tantrum thrown by a 2 year old…nice observation 😉
February 6, 2011 1:48 PM
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