ESOAL: Girl Terrorized with Cockroach

WOW….WOW….WOW!!!! Using someone’s fears against them is NOT torture??? Makes me extremely glad I didn’t go through ESOAL.

To the young woman in the video, I am so sorry that happened to you. That was just wrong on so many levels.

Seriously!? What goes on in a person’s mind and heart that thinks they’re doing something beneficial to treat another human being this way? Do they have meetings to see who can come up with the most twisted shit to inflict on interns? They must because they have it all laid out in advance. No, really, go to that place. DH, HS, and other “leadership” around a table, discussing step by step with specifics all the ways their going to torture, but not go “too far” because a good abuser knows how to do it without leaving a mark, a good abuser can market this as a retreat. They probably open with prayer to make themselves feel like it’s justified, because this will like totally help them persevere when they’re in Africa.
Do extreme circumstances reveal your inner strength, weaknesses, what exactly you’re capable of? Absolutely, but you can’t fabricate that kind of knowledge. How deliberately obtuse do you have to be to think that because you’ve participated in ESOAL, you now know what it’d be like to be persecuted, or a martyr or any number of arrogant things I’ve heard interns say? Only experience brings us that knowledge and wisdom,and only God can dole it out in a way that we can absorb it.
ESOAL is led by a sad group of suburban christians who’ve isolated themselves in east texas most of their adult life all the while playing make believe that they’re global citizens preparing a generation for a life they never had the balls to live.
Excuse my rant, but this one’s been a long time coming.

I literally cannot watch this or I will have a panic attack myself. Phobias are to be overcome thru therapy with a trained professional. This is sickening madness.

I Finished, finished ESOAL… But… if we had roaches my year I guarantee you I would have busted a cap and would have been forced to ring that bell.

So watching this video A LOT of things are coming to mind. Probably the most prominent one of the hour for me is that they are teaching this girl to do what ever she is told. If you are a Christian getting ‘persecuted’ or whatever you will need to stand up for what is right. Not do whatever someone tells you, that is how you get deceived. Esoal = fucked up theology and raising up elite warriors for a perfect rehashing of what happened with Hitler…

The other thing is – I can’t describe how creepy it is to hear the facilitators saying, ‘get down and get ready.’ CRRRREEEEEEEEEPPPPPYYYYY!!!! I feel gross just hearing that. I honestly do think this is happening because she is a girl. This is anti women. This girl is worthy of respect, honor, love, dignity and these ‘Christian’s’ are dehumanizing her, terrorizing her and humiliating her, even to the point of making the cockroach better than her. (‘You can take him off once you get in there but don’t hurt him.”)
It’s pretty stupid to think that just because this is happening for one weekend it’s ok. But I don’t even blame the facilitators for believing it, after you’re at T.M. for a while you can’t really think for self when it comes to Dave’s opinion.
This does no good and does not just last for the weekend. It’s brainwashing. This is also exactly how leadership treats it’s followers…. and for some reason after esoal is over, their followers are happy to do what ever their leadership says…

Well said, Shiloh!

Cult….where are the lawsuits?

I totally AGREE with Josh!!! That is just WRONG!!!! Abuse and outrage!!! How can one call themselves Christian and treat another Christian as such? This is not Christ’s love being showen at all!! Really TM needs to be turned in for that. No one should ever be treated or put through that kind of mental abuse. SICK! SICK! SICK!

I can’t help but wonder if the bands that they use the music in these videos are aware of what their music is being put to? To represent? Depict. I am sure that if there are bands out there who are conscientious to animal rights and pro-life rights and child abuse situations. I can’t help but wonder if they would agree to let TM continue to use their music or even associate with them at all.

@Elizabeth– Not to mention it’s illegal copyright infringement, if HA didn’t pay a licensing fee (and I’m gonna take a wild stab and guess they didn’t).

@Eric: the HA isn’t the entity distributing this video. note that this video is posted on RecoveringAlumni’s youtube channel… therefore, if anyone is violating copyright, it would be RecoveringAlumni. just saying.

@Anon– Not actually, no. But either way, copyright infringement seems quite petty compared to physical and emotional assault of a teenager by people in a position of trust– and if anyone is doing that, it would not be RecoveringAlumni.

@Eric, really? Emotional assault of a teenager? Ok, if they’re doing it to 16-17 year olds, that’s one thing, minors are different than teenagers, the law generally only cares about the minors. We had one or two 16-year olds (homeschool grads) in the HA my year, and if the stuff applied to those specific individuals, then yes, I’d agree that some sort of an assault on a teenager is something to be concerned about.

I have been trying to follow the ESOAL posts and comments, but having to catch up on 2+ years, it’s possible I may be missing something on a different post. Can someone explain to me how this mental/emotional abuse is “sick”? It’s the very reason why people sign up. Push the limits, see how much you can take. Ring out when you’re done, if you ever reach that point that you can’t take anymore. I remember specifically when a friend named Erik was just about to ring out. It was probably between 10am and 1pm on Sunday (without being allowed to wear watches, best we could do was guess), we had been taken out to “the Pit” for mud PT several times that morning, marched 3/4 of a mile or more towards the main buildings, and back…definitely messing with our heads. We were in a formation, they made us think that they were going to continue the back and forth thing until a certain number of people had rung out. Erik walked up to the bell, and the 37 teams all in unison told him not to. Dave was uncharacteristically calm (for being the Command Master Chief) as he waited for Erik to make his decision (2 or 3 interns had just run out and each had a facilitator hugging their shoulder, counseling them as they walked away). He thought about it for what seemed like several minutes. Dave told him “make your decision Erik, do you want to ring out?” Erik stepped back in line with his team, and Dave said “Congratulations, you have just successfully completed ESOAL.” The strangest feeling came over me, I assumed it was a lie, just another game they were playing with my head, but after several minutes of people cheering, crying, hugging each other, etc., I realized it wasn’t a gag. It really was over. I would have hated to be those 2 or 3 interns who had just rung out, hearing the cheering behind them, realizing that they only need to hang in 5 more minutes and they had quit just before the finish line. I was so proud of Erik and the example he set. It was a team-building exercise, to say the least. I didn’t want to let my team down, so I wasn’t going to be the first to ring out. It turns out that my teammates felt the same way, and if even one of us had rung out, at least 4 or 5 others would have immediately followed suit. This, I think, is peer pressure in a good way. “As long as I have my brothers and sisters alongside me, I can make it.” It was a great experience, not because I like eating beanie weenies from a diaper, or baby food in a jar, but because we faced adversity and overcame it.

A roach would not have harmed the girl, that is why the harped on the creepiness of it to try to make her flip out. I’ve seen much worse on Fear Factor. You can’t tell me that Fear Factor is different because they got a slot on prime time television…”it must be safe.” Yes, I’m sure Fear Factor only uses disease-free roaches. The presence of “professionals” does not make gross things less gross. ESOAL is about overcoming your fears as much as any reality show, but I don’t see anyone denouncing those. Can anyone explain to me how a voluntary LTE is different from Fear Factor or its flavor of television shows?

….

WOOOOOW.

First off, Fear Factor isn’t attacking your spiritual self-worth for not going through with the dares.

Just… wow, dude. LOL.

John: “I would have hated to be those 2 or 3 interns who had just rung out, hearing the cheering behind them, realizing that they only need to hang in 5 more minutes and they had quit just before the finish line.”

And there you have is. Perfect example of why ESOAL is abusive.

Also, I think a major point has been brought up here. It’s been said a thousand times before, all more eloquently than this, but this is a revelation for me that I feel bares repeating.

The type of “Christianity” that Teen Mania and many other evangelical organizations breed is a murderer of human empathy. We find ourselves largely incapable of sympathy or understanding emotional needs (“Can anyone explain to me how a voluntary LTE is different from Fear Factor or its flavor of television shows?”), because every problem is solved with a “pray and get over it” mentality.

In essence, killing off anything that doesn’t reek of strength to become a mass of messengers to a nameless, faceless damsel known as “The Lost”.

tl;dr our shit is bass-ackward and it’s not good.

*bears? bares? lol idk

@ John: Minors or not (and I believe most interns are in the 18-19 y/o range? i.e. teenagers), the issue to be concerned about is: Who does Jesus genuinely care about? Who should we care about? This is not the way anybody should be treated by a person in a position of trust. Ever.

In your story, what lesson did Erik really learn? To me it reads like this: “If I conform to peer pressure and go along with the group at any cost, even against my better judgment, I’ll be rewarded, unlike the people who made their own decision to ring out when they legitimately felt they couldn’t take any more. Sucks to be them!”

As your own example vividly demonstrates, the methods of ESOAL are designed to foster groupthink, suppression of individual decision-making, and uncritical, unthinking obedience to the leaders. That’s why it’s abusive and sick.

(That’s also why it’s different from “Fear Factor,” to state the painfully obvious. Much the same reason that the dunk tank in “Wipe-Out” is different from waterboarding.)

I’ve linked it often before in the comments, but you should read this article from Watchman Fellowship on cultic mind control practices. Note especially the list of “Coercive Persuasion Techniques” at the end and how they work. See how many points are similar to ESOAL.

@Nunquam, I’m really having a hard time relating spiritual significance (in the way it was presented by the staff) or self-worth with ESOAL. It’s emotionally stretching. I never really heard a spiritual connection, to be honest, except to pray to God for strength…considering Fear Factor though, any Christian would pray there too, I daresay, even if there was a reward (money? fame?) other than the experience of an LTE at TM. Fear Factor DOES impact your self-worth though at some fundamental level…whether you “wuss out” or just don’t complete an objective in the same amount of time, you feel like a failure, but you can still come out of it knowing that you pushed yourself to do something new and faced your fears.

Is it likely that we’ll face torture as Christians? Very few and far between, but I think it still teaches us something about ourselves. Whether the “end of our rope” is the same as someone else or not, we know at what point (if you want to attach spiritual significance to it) that our strength fails, and in our weakness He is made strong. It’s not about comparing ourselves, though we often do it anyway…I knew people who rang out who were completely at peace with the length which they lasted through. Those people have a solid grip on who they are, or at least a good handle on their emotions.

@layne, consider the principle of “not growing weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up” (Gal 6:9). I know the verse isn’t referring specifically to ESOAL, but “the proper TIME…if we do not GIVE UP” says something about hanging in there…take it one day at a time, (or in ESOAL, one MINUTE at a time). Ephesians 6:13 talks about putting on the full armor of God so that you may be able to stand your ground “and after you have done everything, to stand.” How many people have run the race of Christianity for so long in their life, only to give up? How many times in prayer do we struggle, get tired, and move on to something else, when perhaps we only needed to wait upon the Lord? Look at Jacob, he wrestled with “a man” (though he was renamed Israel for struggling with God and man and overcoming) all night until daybreak and would not let go until he was blessed (Genesis 32:28).

If we can convince ourselves to hang in for five more minutes in any area of life, but especially spiritually, we can overcome any obstacle. Am I advocating refusing to quit no matter the circumstances? No. There are certainly ventures or events in our lives that perhaps we should never have started in the first place and certainly should stop pursuing, but for something that we feel that we MUST (not SHOULD because someone told us to) do, we should not give up in that specific instance.

Dude, the entire POINT of ESOAL is to be tor– er, pushed to a point where you’re “completely relying on God”, when you’ve REACHED THE END OF YOURSELF or something. That’s what the whole Burial and Resurretion thing is about, lol.

So…. What’s next for ESOAL? Flatlining? May sound like I’m overreacting, but when the goal seems to be to just keep “pushing the boundaries” of what a person can handle…. Where does it stop?