Response to a Comment

I’d like to talk about one of the comments this blog received this week:

And at the same time I did have plenty of experiences where people served me at TM and I was able to serve them. I remember one specific instance actual “foot washing” went on and in fact, I just posted a picture of my brother on a GE trip washing someone’s feet.

It’s all about what you choose to focus on.

This is a fairly typical TM response. The dangerous line is this “It’s all about what you choose to focus on.” Can you imagine saying this to any other abuse victim?

To the wife who is beaten by her husband, or the child that is molested by his uncle – should they just focus on the good things in that relationship and forget the bad? Does the 1 or 2 good things outweigh the damage caused by the abuse?

Here are the subtle messages this dangerous line of thinking is sending:

1) Blame the Victim – if you are upset about something, it’s your fault. You are just focusing on the wrong thing.

2) You are not allowed to feel your feelings. Your feelings are wrong.

3) It is wrong to express your feelings or the truth about your total experience.

These are some of the lies that kept me in emotional and spiritual turmoil for so many years.

No matter what “good” they do, there is nothing that gives the leadership at the Honor Academy the right to abuse any intern, whether emotionally, spiritually or mentally. NOTHING makes abuse okay.

For too long, we have been told that we are the ones at fault. That instead of being a victim of abuse, we are just backslidden, rebellious or bitter. We have been silenced by their lies. But the truth is coming out now.

To borrow a line from Ron Luce, “We will not be silent, our voices will be heard.”