Keep those stories coming. I will be publishing them as we go. I think it’s helpful for others to read these and realize they are not alone.
Some of these stories may be controversial because many former interns have left the faith. Though you may disagree with their current faith status, I would encourage you to read with an open heart. We cannot negate their experiences and thoughts about Teen Mania just because they are in a different place spiritually. If anything, you folks at TM that read this can perhaps start to understand how the environment there contributes to this outcome. It happens so often, you have to start wondering if it has something to do with you.
I had the chance to interview Jennifer (not her real name) about her experience with Teen Mania.
1) Give a brief overview of your involvement with TM (how many years, how many mission trips, what role you played, etc)
Acquire the Fire
1992-1998, 2001, 2005 Nashville
1998 Rochester, MA
1999? Tulsa
2000? Little Rock
Mission trips
1997 Venezuela $1800 1 month
1999, 2000 Mexico, 2 weeks $1000 Missions Advisor
TL Leadership Camp 1999, 2001
Honor Academy
(August) 1998-1999 $4200
2) At what point did you begin to think that not everything at TM was healthy?
After one of my first ATFs, I remember thinking that Ron Luce gets free labor from interns. I had a close friend go through the Honor Academy a few years after I did. She was told that in order to be saved, one has to speak in tongues. She had the courage to read the Bible for herself and talk to the leadership about her findings; the leadership later recanted on this. My intern advisor was fired ½ way through my internship. I missed her like crazy. I could not complete all of the requirements. I was uncomfortable, but I didn’t question. I had some friends that had a gun pulled on them during their cross walk, and they were told not to tell their parents or fellow interns.
3) Describe some of your emotions in the aftermath of your experience.
I had to break up with my boyfriend to go to the Honor Academy. To fill that hole, I tried to jump on the bandwagon as much as I could. I had a very sparse support system without him. I also attended a church of Christ college, which is pretty much on the opposite end of the spectrum from the Charismatic environment of Teen Mania.
4) What was the single most negative thing you experienced?
I have to pick one?
• “Here’s a ring. It is inscribed with Hebrew that means, ‘I am my Beloved’s and He is mine.’ You have to earn the right to wear it during ring week by doing calisthenics and an obstacle course every morning before the sun rises. [Joe broke his arm.] This ring symbolizes your relationship with God, but if you aren’t living up to our standards now, or after you graduate, we have the right to confiscate your ring, which isn’t really yours in the first place, it is ours. To have a good relationship with God, you have to be in good standing with us.”
• All the rules about sex!
o Oral sex is degrading to one of the people and not permitted.
o Homosexuality is wrong.
o Breasts are dangerous and tempting. A man will feel too much breasts from a frontal hug and only brief side hugs are OK.
o Human beings are the only species than can have sex face to face (not true) so missionary position is the only way to do it.
o Vaginas are made to receive and penises to initiate. I was told that if I wanted a Godly relationship, I could not initiate. That was The Man’s job.
o When a penis and a vagina have sex, part of the man’s soul gets stuck onto the woman. This is called a “soul tie” which the woman has to then pray for deliverance from.
• I am a klutzy, introverted female. The overall attitude at Teen Mania was that good Christians are athletic and oozing extroverted leadership skills. I do not fit that personality type. I felt that something was wrong with me for years because of my personality and body type. I am also bisexual. This was not an option at Teen Mania. Trying to squelch this was very harmful.
• Hell does not make sense to me. How can a loving God create people to be in a relationship with Him, and then damn them to Hell if they don’t find Him? I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders, because I had to communicate to people about the love of God or they would be in danger of Hell. I even majored in Missions with a minor in Biblical Languages in college. I’m dyslexic in Hebrew and that was fun.
5) What, if any, was the most positive thing you experienced?
I was put on probation and some of my fellow interns extended Grace to me.
6) Where are you in your spiritual journey now? How has TM influenced this?
I went to treatment in 2006 for one week largely because of the religious abuse that I experienced at the Honor Academy. It was here that I fired Ron Luce and his ideals as my personal god. I also ritually stomped my Honor Ring into the ground with my small group and left it there.
My spiritual journey contains Buddhism. The acceptance of Buddhism is still such a relief after Teen Mania. Instead of thinking, “Oh no! A lustful thought! I’m such a sinner! I have to pray for relief from lust!” I can now think, “There’s a lustful thought,” watch it rise (if it needs to) and fade.
The faith of Wicca is growing in popularity and more people know what it is. Wicca is a type of Paganism. I am Pagan. I am not Wiccan, I find they have too many rules. I feel like Jesus and I got a divorce and we are speaking again. I also have a high regard for the Divine Feminine; a Goddess makes much more sense to me.
15 comments:
Anonymoussays:September 21, 2009 at 5:35 PM
How fair is this, that you won’t publish anyone’s comments that agree with Teen Mania? I don’t agree with your opinions of TM at all. I’m sorry you didn’t have a good experience, but we have had the opposite. God has worked wondrously!!
It’s about safety and respect. There are lots of places you can hear and read about Teen Mania from a positive perspective. This is a place for those who have been hurt to share their stories and heal.
But if you want to talk about fair, is it fair that interns are asked to commit to never “portray the ministry in a negative light?”
AKA “Everything we do is right and you are not allowed to question us.” Is that fair?
And honestly, it’s this type of attitude which necessitates the comment moderation.
Just because others may have had a good experience, it doesn’t negate the wounds and deep hurt many of us have received. And we don’t need anyone telling us that it does.
I’m not obligated to give “equal time” to my abuser.
Anonymoussays:September 27, 2009 at 10:57 AM
I like you Recovering Alumni. I never would have even thought to say teenmania was a spiritual abuser. let alone the boldness to say you didn’t want to hear what they thought on the matter.
dang.
Thanks… I feel recovery coming on…
Dan Hillmansays:September 30, 2009 at 4:14 PM
There are many problems with Teen Mania.
But, homosexuality is a sin. Buddhism is idolatry. Paganism is pagan. Rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft.
And Jesus saves us from all such depravity.
This is not the “Teen Mania party line.” These claims are based on the truth of Scripture.
I agree that those things are not in line with the life Jesus came to give us…however, that doesn’t mean her experience with Teen Mania is incorrect or less credible which is why I said:
“Though you may disagree with their current faith status, I would encourage you to read with an open heart. We cannot negate their experiences and thoughts about Teen Mania just because they are in a different place spiritually”
Just because a person is of a different faith does not mean we can’t agree with them on some things. Hope that makes sense and clarifies my position.
I’m not endorsing a pagan lifestyle…but I do understand why one would choose to go that way after they were treated like crap by Christians.
Where in the Bible does it talk about female homosexuality?
That is a fair question, but outside the scope of this blog. This isn’t really a forum for debate on that particular topic. And I’m sure it would quickly devolve into a controversial rabbit trail…
I have no desire to debate. I think that the point of this blog is more important than that. There was a lot I wanted to say that I refrained from (no hard feelings).
Jennifer, Thank you for sharing your story. I can relate. I too am no longer on the Christian path and feel free because of that.
@shyvioletgirl When the bible says “homosexuality” it’s referring to any gender (man or woman) engaging in sexual acts with the same gender.
“This ring symbolizes your relationship with God, but if you aren’t living up to our standards now, or after you graduate, we have the right to confiscate your ring, which isn’t really yours in the first place, it is ours.”
This is so terrible, in my opinion. How can a ring owned by a third party symbolize YOUR relationship with God? Who are they to judge it? (I guess that’s the whole heart of the matter, isn’t it?) According to passages of the Bible (I know not everyone here believes the Bible to be true, but Teen Mania does, or claims to, so this applies to them), it won’t be these guys that we have to stand before on judgment day, therefore it’s not their place to judge the validity of our relationship.
Also, someone correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t there something about teachers answering for what they taught their students, and so on? It gives me comfort to know that people like RL and DH will have to give an account for all the 70-odd posters in True Stories and the many more that aren’t.
Maggiesays:March 13, 2012 at 9:02 AM
Yes they will, Jessica…they WILL stand before the Lord and give account for their actions.
Anonymoussays:March 16, 2012 at 6:38 AM
I’m looking for my friends from the trip to Venezuela in 1999. My name is Jeff, and I brought a stuffed animal fox with me, if anyone is out there who remembers email me, airforceairborne@yahoo.com
Anonymoussays:August 4, 2014 at 11:22 PM
Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world. 1 John 4:1