Erin’s Story, Part 1

I was a January intern in 2007. I think that says SO MUCH right there.(Many of us lovingly referred to the common miss- treatment of the January intern as the ‘Jan-Shaft’) I was welcomed to my new room on day one with my new bunkmate complaining to ME about how she didn’t like Januaries and how she wanted my closet space and wasn’t happy about giving it up…. Wow (Actually. She told me that Januaries were a waste of closet space… She just happened to be using my closet and wanted it.) This was just the very beginning of the battle that warred between me and the Aug. lol. It sounds REALLY stupid now, but I began to actually dislike the Aug class quite a bit. There were always bitter comments being thrown back and forth between me and my core and even some of the people I worked with. The Januaries in my core were left out of family events from the beginning. I think I got invited to two events the whole 8 months of the first semester. This wasn’t the case with everyone, but it was the case with me and a lot of my friends. I really only hung out with Januaries. All my thoughts on Aug. being jerks to Januaries was confirmed when I talked to an Aug about this issue my G.I. year. He responded something like, “yeah, I liked the Januaries before you, but your class just wined all the time, none of us really liked you guys.” (That’s almost and exact quote)!!!haha. Dumb. lol. Really really really dumb. I just wanted to address that seemingly subtle little problem because there was a lot of that kind of stuff that went on in general at the H.A. — In most cases there was always someone higher or better than you that everyone openly liked more or you were better and higher than someone else.– K-crew/Grounds, ATF/GE/MOB, ATF/BC, Promo/ Encouragement, C.A./M.A., Shattered Clay/Driven, A-shift/B-shift….

There was a fair amount of new things that happened my year that hadn’t happened the years before…We had people get dismissed like mad. Apparently it wasn’t the norm as years past but I think we had 80 people either just leave or get dismissed (including GI’s.)Which raised up so many questions, Something didn’t seem right with the issue of “breaking your commitment” I couldn’t place my finger on it. If someone left or talked about leaving they were silently shunned. I thought people who broke their commitment were definitely weaker Christians, and I really didn’t want much to do with them. I didn’t want people like ‘that’ influencing me. Either that or you felt a deep need to shallowly keep in touch so that person didn’t fall away, because if they left obviously it was because they were failing spiritually.

If you’re at the H.A. and want to leave because you feel your Spirit being quenched, just do it. Don’t worry about your “commitment” to the H.A. you don’t owe them ANYTHING. I’m serious, why do you have to make a commitment in the first place? It’s not for your benefit, it’s so the ministry can count on your free labor. Mr. Hasz told us that in the beginning. So they make you do this huge commitment banquette and act like you’re doing something great so they can ensure you actually stay there. (which would be called manipulation) uhg. The more I think about it the more upset I get.

I had a brief stay as a promo caller for the Honor Academy. Mr. Hasz had this goal of getting 500 interns for the new Aug ’08 class. So it literally was about numbers. We weren’t trying to get people who really wanted to be there we were trying to convince as many people as we could so we could make the leaders happy (Heath Stoner, Dave Hasz and that management of the Department). So, often we had our little speeches about how wonderful the H.A. is, how you’ll have a family core that watches out for you, a core that will be as close to you as sisters/brothers, “the classes are great, the L.T.E.’s will change your life, everything is amazing, your life will be perfect…” We would say, “Just fill out the app. and if you get accepted you’ll know it’s God telling you to go.” (did we mention that EVERYONE get’s accepted? Better leave that out…) It didn’t matter how I really felt. I wasn’t allowed to say I didn’t like the classes. If I could have told the truth I would have said, “uhhh.. Actually we just went through the Fasting L.T.E. it was pretty lame. They didn’t explain fasting really and I slept through the whole thing.” Well, actually even if I was allowed to tell the truth I probably wouldn’t have, no one would fill out an app. if you told them the truth! I’m really serious. The saddest part is that I thought I was doing the right thing. It was WEIRD. The place has you brainwashed when you’re there. I can’t explain it. Like you WANT to lie to make the ministry seem better so people will go there. And I really did believe that if people went there their lives would be better for it… Even if I had to fudge some truths…