Some of you might be wondering if I am over-reacting in my diagnosis of what is wrong with the Honor Academy. Sure, no ministry is perfect – so am I just being overly critical? In his book, Recovering from Churches that Abuse, Ronald Enroth tells you how to recognize if you have been spiritually abused.
I recognize that some readers believe that” abuse” is too strong a term to use in connection with unhealthy churches and Christian organizations. But I do not know a more adequate concept to describe the constellation of traits that I have identified in this book and elsewhere: the practice of surrendering personal autonomy to an authoritarian group or pastor-leader; the loss of identity and self-worth that accompanies that submission; the temporary and sometimes sustained spiritual paralysis; the recurrent nightmares and flashbacks; the relational disruptions and the fear and confusion caused by a performance-based faith.
David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen also call this abuse. There is no test to diagnose spiritual abuse. There are only spiritual clues: lack of joy in the Christian life; tiredness from trying hard to measure up; disillusionment about God and spiritual things; uneasiness, lack of trust, or even fear of those who care about “God” things, even legitimately; a profound sense of missing your best Friend; cynicism.
I’ve experienced every single one of these in the aftermath of my time at the Honor Academy. And judging from the emails I receive every week, I am not the only one.
Which of these have you experienced?
2 comments:
The fact that most teenagers are unaware that spiritual abuse exists makes them more vulnerable to TM’s maltreatment. Think about it. Most teenagers are aware that they should avoid sexually, physically and even emotionally abusive situations. However, I don’t think many teenagers have ever heard the term “spiritual abuse” or have been educated on how to recognize signs of spiritual abuse and how avoid spiritally abusive situations.
I had never heard of spiritual abuse as a teenager. I didn’t even realize it existed until my mid 20s. I’m not sure I would have recognized TM as a spiritually abusive organization in time to avoid joining TM on a mission trip, but if someone had at least told me afterward, “You were spiritually abused,” it would have saved me years of guilt and confusion and depression. It was so hard to digest the maltreatment I suffered on my TM trip, because I knew something was wrong, but couldn’t put my finger on what it was. Now I know that what I experienced has a name and it was spiritual abuse. Just that bit of information frees me from thinking there was something wrong with ME that I wasn’t good enough for TM. Learning about spiritual abuse gives me peace, because I can know now that I’m ok.
I think it is essential that kids and teenagers are educated about spiritual abuse so that they can avoid it all together. I’m going to make sure my son knows about spiritual abuse so he never has to suffer something like I went through.
You’re right. Churches like to avoid the issue of spiritual abuse. They might talk about full-blown cults. It may be pastors fear that congregants may “find” clues to abuse where there really isn’t any, or it may be that pastors also haven’t heard of spiritual abuse. It used to be that there were legitimate churches, and then there were cults. It was easy to tell which was which because of doctrine, so they thought. If it held to the Trinity, all was well. Now we know, thanks to researchers like Enroth, Johnson and VanVonderen, that it’s practice every bit as much as doctrine that makes a group unhealthy. You have to be aware of these clues and guard against spiritual abuse because the results are spiritually devastating.