There are several really great blogs about that cover the topic of spiritual abuse. Pushing Jesus specifically focuses on recovering from spiritual abuse using the 11 steps. I found this post particularly helpful in recognizing the difference between God and the people who abuse in His name. I’ve reprinted it here, but the blog is worth a visit:
Refer to STEP 4: I recognize that God is not the abuser; people who misuse their authority are the abusers.
One of the main reasons abuse goes unrecognized an unacknowledged is that Christians are more than willing to give abusers “a pass” on their behavior, especially when the abuse was a verbal attack. Well meaning people often say things like these:
I know you were hurt by that, but the pastor didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.
You just misunderstood; that’s all. You’re just too sensitive.
It’s not nearly as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be.
He would never hurt you on purpose. He’s been under a lot of stress lately, but I’m sure he meant you know harm.In Christian circles, this is not only what people say; it’s what they believe—firmly believe. For those who have experienced the abuse, they know deep inside of them that this isn’t really the case. Because they hear a steady stream of justification from others, however, they often come to believe that they must have been mistaken. They still experience the pain, but they view their situation through the rose colored glasses of Christian political correctness.
Instead, what they should do is confront the situation head-on, which rarely happens. If the abuser is confronted and no abuse was intended, the abusive person will immediately come to the light, admit their fault, and be willing to reconcile. If the person has an abusive spirit, they will never come to the light. Instead, they will deflect, rationalize, or explain their behavior in a way that justifies what they have done; but they will never come to the light. They can’t. Although they might preach powerful messages about the Lord, they live in the darkness and are never willing to be repentant. It’s simply not in their nature of an abusive person to do so.
1 comments:
Wow. Thank you.
August 21, 2010 10:32 AM