Continuing our series of lessons you will learn at the Honor Academy…
#2 – Everything is your fault
This not so subtle message applies to issues both big and small in daily life.
– Car broke down and you were late? It’s your fault.
– Flight delayed and your luggage was lost? It’s your fault.
– Teen Mania didn’t give you the correct information so you weren’t prepared? It’s your fault.
– You were sick and missed a class? It’s your fault.
In day to day issues, there is little to no grace or mercy extended. Unfortunately, these issues can seem like mere annoyances when compared with the devastating effects of this idea on the deeper issues in our lives.
You injured yourself in corporate exercise? Pray in faith and you’ll be healed! If you aren’t healed, it’s your fault.
You are depressed? You must not have enough faith – so it’s your fault.
You haven’t raised enough money to cover your “tuition”? You must not be working hard enough. It’s your fault.
You would be shocked to hear the kinds of things that are blamed on interns. (In fact, I think this year they’ve added “Blame the Victim” to their list of core values.)
The problem with this lesson is that it becomes so ingrained in your psyche, that you begin to blame yourself for everything (good and bad). You begin to believe that everything that goes wrong in your life is related to your sin. God must be punishing you in order to get rid of your sin. When you repent over and over and can’t figure out what the sin is, you begin to think that it must be something wrong with you as a person – You are defective, worthless, etc.
It’s a nasty cycle, people!! And it all begins with the idea that you are responsible for everything bad that ever happens to you. Not the vicissitudes of life or other people – YOU are responsible for everything. This is nothing more than a huge lie.
And of course, the other side of this coin is – if your life is great, then it is also your “fault”. You are doing things right so God is blessing you! You are awesome. You are changing the world! Wait, what’s the spiritual word for that….? Oh yeah, pride.
6 comments:
When things were going right for me, I would feel like it was in spite of “what God had for me,” which was a double whammy; not only was I full of pride for thinking I could actually sneak around God and get good things for myself, I was also convinced I was worthless because I thought God only loved me for my performance. I commented as anonymous on the post about Dave’s teaching on restitution…that teaching was what did it for me. I was convinced God would stop talking to me and I would have to figure out what I did wrong if I made the tiniest mistake. I had no concept of mercy or grace. The foundations for this were set long before the Honor Academy, but it was nothing but encouraged while I was there.
September 2, 2010 8:38 AM
Shiloh said…
Good word.
I want to put out something God has been showing me lately because it has been so good and it started the night of the conference call.
Jesus was (IS!) GOD and 30 years old before He ever did a miracle.
When Jesus did miracles He did them God style – in the perfect obedience to our Father.
I don’t know if that helps anyone else but – what in the “world” makes us think that we can live our lives day to day, honestly, for most, not reading the word that often, or even praying and then have the weight that every time we pray God is supposed to heal that person?
I like that. (I know I’m weird.)
If you really are close enough to God that every time you pray for someone they get healed, you’re probably one HUMBLE dude/dudette 😉 And you’re not going to be condemning others for not being in the place you are, cause you know the work it takes to have that relationship with God.
And for the rest of the post –
I remember a teaching Dave did (I think Adversity?)
If you are late to work ask yourself why. Could you have been 5 minutes earlier? Don’t put the blame on others, blame yourself and change it.
A good principle really.
Until it gets to the “T.M. didn’t give you the right info and you weren’t prepared.”
… But you definitely should have known what to do anyways.
September 2, 2010 10:19 AM
Recovering Alumni said…
Shiloh – Good thoughts. I was with you all the way until “cause you know the work it takes to have that relationship with God.”
The word “work” is a tricky one to use in the context of a Gospel of grace. If its grace-empowered, done with no performance mentality – then its awesome.
Often, it implies (at least to those of us coming out of legallism) that if we work hard enough, God will give us X. Yet, we can never work hard enough to make God owe us something – blessings, healings, victories, etc. I learned this the hard way. God will never owe us anything, He will never be in our debt. Its all grace, all the time.
September 2, 2010 11:17 AM
Shiloh said…
right.
I thought when I said that it might have come across a little funny.
I meant, if you’re to the point where you really are partnering with the Lover of our souls to that deep of an extent (your entire life revolves around Him and His will.) you know the work that you put into the relationship and that it would be near impossible to just ‘have’ that relationship without the work.
Same kinda work you put into a marriage.
Not a job.
September 2, 2010 11:54 PM
Anonymous said…
i’m not saying i disagree…
i;m just wondering where the “it’s your fault” thing came from…was it your CA or managers or leadership?
i’m just trying to get my mind wrapped around it…
i was there for a year and i had many things that i disagreed with…
but this just doesn’t seem to be one of them…
if you clarified how you got this impression it might refresh my memory.
thanks
September 3, 2010 8:16 AM
Recovering Alumni said…
From nearly everyone – Dave Hasz’s teachings, Ron Luce’s teachings, CAs, other interns…
September 3, 2010 10:14 AM