If you need help leaving the Honor Academy, please get in contact with me. It doesn’t matter if you are quitting or being dismissed. If you need a place to stay, someone to pick you up, or just a couch to crash on for the weekend while you think things through – I have sympathetic contacts in the Dallas area who can provide that for you while you figure out your next move. Contact me at recoveringalumni at hotmail dot com.
44 comments:
Anonymoussays:November 13, 2009 8:21 AMReply
Oh what an amazing blessing this would have been when I decided to leave!
Anonymoussays:November 13, 2009 10:42 AMReply
I was thinking maybe you should add this to the side bar so that people can see it at any time if they need it. Otherwise, it may get lost in the stories. 😉
lizboltzranfeldsays:November 14, 2009 10:29 AMReply
I agree with Anonymous — this should definitely be in the sidebar, if possible. Any intern visiting the site should be able to see this information, no matter when they visit. Good idea!
Also, the new design looks great.
Frazersays:January 3, 2010 8:19 PMReply
Man yeah I wish I’d have known about this when I first knew I had to leave! But God worked things out anyway 🙂
recovered9798says:January 8, 2010 7:20 PMReply
not sure if there’s ever a need outside of texas regarding this post, but i have contacts on the east coast -places to stay/etc. if there’s ever the need.
Anonymoussays:February 14, 2010 1:52 PMReply
Go for it, ESOAL is physically abusive, follow the medical bills…
also
It’s ok to feel your own feelings, think your own thoughts and express your own opinions. God made you that way, anything less is group think and cult like abusive behavior
Matthew 19:14
Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, 14 but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” 15And he laid his hands on them and went away.
Anonymoussays:March 10, 2010 8:27 PMReply
I think this is great, I know a number of interns that are now living there lives to the complete other end of the teachings from the bible. We are given the ring to wear with honor, being told that we are part of a family and if we ever dishonor what it stands for we will be asked to give it back, but that never happens. No one ever follows up with you. Interns I know have been married many times, not being able to be in good relationships. Others living altertive life styles, exotic dancers, and much more. Having no one to turn to for guidance. I do think that the internship is to tide to rules, so when you go back home you are lost and alone. Thank you for putting yourself out there, to help make change. Even though I don’t think Tm will really listen.
Anonymoussays:March 10, 2010 10:30 PMReply
You are offering help, but never say who you are. Hard for me to trust that… I’m a little skeptical to be honest. You don’t have a name?
Lisasays:March 10, 2010 10:55 PMReply
That’s pretty ridiculous. Of course RA has a name.
If I had read this offer as I was considering leaving the HA I would have been jumping at the opportunity rather than sit in isolation with a judgemental staff member I didn’t really know and at that point certainly did not trust.
Obviously the people wanting to take these kind strangers up on their offer would be given the applicable information to get in touch with them.
Anonymoussays:March 14, 2010 12:50 PMReply
RA- I live in the Dallas area- and can provide a place if needed… If you need anyone else to help out with that let me know and i will email you my contact info…
Recovering Alumnisays:March 14, 2010 12:59 PMReply
Anon – That would be great, please email me.
Kyle and Sharayahsays:March 20, 2010 7:38 AMReply
I am so happy that something like this exists. We had to go this whole thing alone.
Tavosays:April 27, 2010 4:14 PMReply
I am going to be perfeclty honest. I “graduated” from, the what is now called honor academy, but it was called teen mania internship program, back in 97. I wish you would have been around then.
At the time I was going through, well, hell trying to figure things out in my personal life and everytime I tried to talk to my room leader, I would be flown into a prayer circle and had people “laying hands” on me trying to cast out the demons. I was there for the full year only to satisfy my churches wishes to make sure that I turn out normal and not as some, well, alternative living person.
I was never comfortable with living a lie, especially to the ones that I called my friends, at the internship program.
I was bombarded with scriptures, lessons, prayers on how living a certain way was bad and I “will burn in the lake of fire forever”. That scared the heck out of me. I mean what kind of support group, even though they weren’t, was that?
I do not and will not call it an honor academy, because you have no honor for yourself when you leave there.
I feel really sorry for the ones that are there that are confused and don’t know what to do or go to. I hope they have the chance to read your blog and contact you in some way.
Good luck to all of you who survived the program and wish you the best of luck and love for you all.
Tavo
Shannon Kishsays:April 28, 2010 8:20 AMReply
Tavo,
I am sorry that you had to deal with that. Join us in the Forums. We have great discussions and it has become a real healing place for those of us that went through TM’s abuse.
Micheal McCombersays:April 28, 2010 3:36 PMReply
Tavo, its good to hear from you man.
IM sorry this happened to you. IM sorry that the guys in your room did not show you the love and understanding you needed.
I want to thank you for you friendship and encouragement during our year, thank you for being a true friend.
Karahsays:April 29, 2010 2:02 AMReply
Ditto what Michael said, Tavo. Good to see you over here but I’m so sorry that you didn’t receive what you needed. 🙁
But we did have some good times too – remember our road trip to New York and Niagara Falls? LOL
Anonymoussays:May 1, 2010 1:51 AMReply
I can honestly admit that HA can make people MUCH worse than better! I met someone while attending HA, who I married years later. After a few years of a completely miserable marriage, they had an affair and left.
!!! PSYCHO !!!
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely loved HA and the time that I spent there. There will always be a place in my heart for HA and the spiritual character and friendships that were developed there. And given the amount of traffic that you have to this site, I think that is the case for a lot of people.
Melissasays:May 10, 2010 8:35 PMReply
So I was in the HA class of 2001 fresh out of High School…and I left early due to the fact that my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. I had everyone from the dorm room and core tell me not to go back home. But I left and I enjoyed the time that I spent there but it was time to go home and man I really wish you were around then, it would have made leaving much smoother…
Anonymoussays:May 10, 2010 9:12 PMReply
Wow I would have done anything for the website when I was in… I can’t say to much I am actually in the Military the US one and didn’t mention the “academy” when I joined. When I say that the HA reps lied to me more than the Navy Recruiting office when I joined its saying alot..
I was in the Ha in 2005 straight out of high school and thinking that maybe I could make a difference… The things I went through at the academy left me stranded. My roomate stole money from me and verbally abused me afterwards. She was eventually kicked out nut I was never reimbursed even though she was put up to an honor counsel and dismissed I was never called to testify and was not allowed to press charges even though the sum was around three hundred dollars.. I have been one of the girls living an alternate lifestyle after the academy i lost my virginity got kicked out of a church got hoooked on cocaine and worked as a phone sex operator and did a little soft core porn… The entire time since the Academy my entire being has been screaming that I am not good enough for God and never will be….
Thought if nothing else I could serve my country and get a little bit of the Honor I thought I had lost back, and the Navy has been great to me it gave me the structure I needed and I have been able to discover a little bit of who I am and that I can be a good person, but there seems like no matter how hard I work somedays that God doesn’t forgive and it eats me because ever since the academy it just wont go away and I wonder not only when will I be good enough for God but when will I ever feel good enough for me
mom of ex-internsays:May 10, 2010 10:10 PMReply
@ Navy ‘Anon’
The Bible says ‘ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God’. We are all sinners saved by grace through faith in Jesus. You are not beyond the love of God. Your life experiences are not beyond forgiveness and redemption. None of us can ‘earn’ His love–He gives it freely. You are a Daughter of the Most High God. I will be praying for you tonight…
mom of ex-internsays:May 10, 2010 10:19 PMReply
and Melissa, I, for one, am glad that you honored your mom and went home to be with her, help her, and most likely-encouraged her as she battled cancer. I’m sure that was a precious time you had/have with her that you will never regret. Shame on those at HA for making you feel bad for leaving. Where is the ‘honor’ there?
Recovering Alumnisays:May 10, 2010 10:44 PMReply
Navy Anon –
My heart hurts for you. Unfortunately, TM instills shame in alot of us – the feeling that we never measure up and that God is NEVER happy with us. Thankfully, nothing could be further from the truth. Its b/c of Jesus that God is pleased with us – it doesn’t matter what we’ve done!! Stripper, pastor, dictator, soccer mom – all are on equal footing because of the cross!
You are welcome here.
Eric P.says:May 11, 2010 9:29 AMReply
@ Navy Anon– It makes me inexpressibly sad to realize that you went through a supposedly “Christian” ministry without anybody ever telling you the whole point of the Gospel! Namely, Jesus died to save people–all of us sinners–because we aren’t good enough and never will be. The fact that we all sin means that we can’t be good enough to save ourselves, so we must trust Jesus to do it for us!
This article called “Beginning Right” by R. A. Torrey puts it as well as anything I’ve seen. I hope you will read the whole thing. Here’s one relevant quote:
“Our own good works, past, present, or future, have nothing to do with the forgiveness of our sins. Our sins are forgiven, not because of any good works that we do; they are forgiven because of the atoning work of Christ on the cross of Calvary in our place. […] Our good works will not be the ground of our salvation, but the result of our salvation, and the proof of it. We must be very careful not to mix in our good works at all as the ground of salvation. We are forgiven, not because of Christ’s death and our good works, but solely and entirely because of Christ’s death. To see this clearly is the right beginning of the true Christian life.”
You may also want to read some places in the Bible that explain this clearly–Romans 8 is a great one to start with.
Thanks for telling us what’s on your heart. I will be praying for you today.
Wessays:June 20, 2010 12:30 AMReply
I was an intern in 02 and made it through that exact ESOAL. I cherish my experience during ESOAL and my year at the HA. Dont over analize the place, its easy to shoot bullet holes through the program. As a whole its a wonderfull program. My theology doesn’t line up with teen mania at all these days but the people that make up the ministry are amazing people and do a great service in their own way for the body of Christ.
Jesse Garciasays:June 23, 2010 10:21 AMReply
Dear everyone, My name is Jesse Garcia. I was an intern in 97 also. I guess at the time I had my complaints, but I was also an idiot kid. Rebellious for no reason. I ran a muck while I was there and NEVER got in trouble. I dressed weird, pushed the boundaries, challenged authority in every way and no ever really said anything. I still had some recovery time after I finished, and I didn’t really see the value in what I did there. It took years to realize what I had actually learned there. I burned through churches for years because they were “fake” or whatever. Long story short, I learned the most from the character development classes, and the how to handle confrontation classes. Literally everything else is a blur. I do know this, Adapt, Improvise, Overcome, Water Buffalo, and Duck. What that means is ya can’t let some stupid stuff that happened a decade ago keep you down. Ya have to move on to succeed. Ya have to have thick skin and let stuff roll off your back. H.A., Teen Mania, is not the end all, be all, for Christianity, or the secret of life. They say some good stuff, and they say dumb stuff. They are not God, or even super Christians. They are just people. Take the good throw out the bad. Move on. Just like anything else in life.
Anonymoussays:June 24, 2010 10:53 AMReply
Well said Jesse Garcia
People cling to an offense and it turns into a root of bitterness in their lives.
You need to let go and let God. You can blame your mom, brother, TM, DH, RL, or the doctor.
You can have any excuse you want to stay where you are at.
It’s time to mature, forgive, and move on. Cling to God and release the junk.
Grow up and be the man or woman God called you to be.
If you don’t, you will stay on this blog complaining about your injured emotional psyche until Jesus comes back and you will have done nothing for HIM.
Anonymoussays:June 24, 2010 11:02 AMReply
Like taking fire into your belly.
Anonymoussays:June 25, 2010 1:04 AMReply
Current Interns: LEAVE THE CULT WHILE THERE IS STILL TIME!!! The first commandment is Do not have any other gods before God. So you made a commitment to an organization, to a group of people, to yourself. So what? NONE of those things are GOD. If He is calling you to leave, LISTEN TO HIM!! It is not Satan. There are millions of other ministries (REAL ministries) that you can be a part of. There is no condemnation in Jesus Christ. Listen to HIM and only HIM!!
Shannon Kishsays:June 25, 2010 8:41 AMReply
Jesse, Anon, et al.
“Take the good, throw out the bad. Move on.”
Great advice. There is only a fatal flaw. You assume that because we are talking about our experiences we haven’t “moved on” or that we are “bitter.” What you fail to see, however, is that in order to “move on” we have to have an outlet to talk about these things. That is what this place has become.
I have moved on. I am no longer a “recovering” alumni. I am just an alumni. But, I continue here because I can share my experiences with other and help them become healed. I also am an advocate.
dansays:June 29, 2010 12:57 AMReply
hey I was just thinking, the HA probably monitors who goes to this site then confronts them for doubting God.
Anonymoussays:September 22, 2010 4:09 PMReply
Hello.. I was told by a friend about this sight. I just want to tell all of you that where hurt, Im praying for you and give you all some advice that I myself have done. I was a Jan and yes, I grad in 09. I was very hurt my some not all the staff they abussed me and what I was going through in the worst of way’s.. I had a lot of help to finish and good friends working with me all the way to the end. Yes God had his hand on me and I can say if your not called,called dont go.. But here is what I did I prayed not to be bitter. then I slowly talked to a few people that finished ahead of me. I then talked with some people from my church. and last but not least wrote a very stright letter to the HA Dave to be exact and got a replay along with a clear of all wrong that was being held over me. never give up dont let anyone tell you anything less then truth be real to you God and the preople you picked to tell, dont heal fast you might have a wound that does not heal right and have it re-open later, dont become bitter it only really does hurt you. I know because I was there one time. dont give up tell you are all the way for sure there. and dont let anyone tell you that what you are saying is not true. and keep it true. I hope you all heal. and i hope you all find love in the arms of a loving and healing God… I am prould of you all for what you are doing. and for opeing up and telling your painful stories with us. I know its hard. I did not even tell mine due to how hard and how bad it was.. so God bless
Kristasays:September 22, 2010 5:54 PMReply
Anonymous – I’m so glad you’ve been able to find healing and that you are working through your experience at TMM. I’m sure I speak for everyone here and say you are welcome here whether or not you ever feel the need to tell your story. 🙂
Anonymoussays:December 28, 2010 6:43 PMReply
I’m a current intern and I’m absolutely miserable at the HA. I’m not planning on leaving because of all the money that’s already be invested for me to be there I just have 2 requests one that you pray for me as I’ve sunk into a deep and dangerous depression and also I need to know some scripture to defend myself from the innumerable people who are account all of my SUFFERING to the idea that God is putting me through “trials” its infuriating to be stuck in a core full freaks including a homosexual and a handful of other losers not to mention my touchy feely freak of a core advisor and everytime I ask to be moved into a new core I’m told that I was prayerfully put there and that the fact that I despise my core means that God is trying to help me “Grow”.
I’m growing alright .. growing to hate everyone .. The fact is I’ve put much more prayer into the whole mess than all of them put together and God has given me no sign that I’m supposed to be suffering as much as I am.
Sorry for the rant.
God Bless
Anonymoussays:January 1, 2011 11:32 AMReply
Anon 28,
focus on why you are there, more than trying to blend in with people. Focus on YOUR relationship with God. Also remember God loves the freaky people too. Do you know it’s a fact you put more prayer than the others or is this assumption?
When I was at HA I stuck to myself and focused on my relationship with God and the future after TM. I had some friends but I wasn’t popular by any stretch. Find some friends who are like minded however, not like minded in the state of depression because that can be dangerous. But like minded in goals in life, activities you enjoy, and what God has placed on your heart for the future. To be honest I didn’t feel at place in TM for the longest time. I honestly wasn’t following God at all when I got there. But I focused on Him and focused on what was the next step or path in my life.
Anonymoussays:January 17, 2011 5:03 PMReply
I never went to this TeenMania group thing in my whole life but I was in a religious cult and I KNOW that TeenMania is a cult.All the warning signs are there. And as much as people want to say otherwise… was and still is a cult. In the Bible doesn’t Jesus say, ‘My yoke is easy and my burden is light.’ If it’s too heavy… it ain’t Jesus. <3 … and I am a freaky homosexual who knows the true love of God. You don’t have to agree with me or anyone else because your relationship with God is between you and God.
recent alumnisays:January 25, 2011 11:25 PMReply
Anon 28 – who is your core advisor?
laynesays:January 26, 2011 9:21 AMReply
Anon 28 – Leave. Call someone. Get away from that place. They do not know how to handle a person suffering from depression.
But also, lay off the homosexuals. If you’re having a difficult time at the HA, think about how much that person is suffering.
Anonymoussays:April 13, 2011 11:57 AMReply
Wow…wished I’d know about ya’ll when I was at HA….
Sarahsays:April 14, 2011 3:34 PMReply
wow. i honestly don’t know what to say about all this. Who is “recovering alumni” and why can’t he/she say his her name? I started out on missions trips with TM in 1993, went on 4 trips. Went into the internship in 96/97 (i think- it’s been so long!) LOVED TM,, but i do agree with alot of the issues on here. It’s strange to even be thinking of all this now that it’s been so many years and now I am a mom of 3. Hmmm.
Sarahsays:April 14, 2011 3:35 PMReply
And TAVO…(comments way above)…we love you!! Was just with Lisa on vacation…No judgements from us, my friend…;o)
Recovering Alumnisays:April 14, 2011 3:37 PMReply
Hi Sarah,
Welcome to the site. I originally kept my identity hidden so that I could be protected. Since coming out last fall, my home has been vandalized, I’ve gotten prank calls and people impersonating me to various businesses and cults, and Dave Hasz and Heath Stoner have conconted various lies about me, including a story about me giving out drugs and alcohol to interns in an attempt to get them dismissed.
Keep looking around and I’m sure you’ll see that the HA has changed a lot since you were there – and not for the better! I’d recommend starting with the ‘true stories’ or ‘esoal’ tab on the right.
Sarahsays:April 14, 2011 4:17 PMReply
ah, I see. (Why you needed to keep your name private). I never did ESOAL or whatever they call it. We we’re the class that moved from Tulsa to Garden Valley, so our year consisted of mostly…well that!! I could go on and on. Regardless- i did come out with some of the best friends and I still do have alot of those same friends. Saying that, though, I would NEVER, EVER send my child on a Teen Mania trip or to the internship. Sad.
Anonymoussays:April 25, 2011 11:05 AMReply
i got told its like breaking a mariage/devorce by leaving the HA when i got ready to leave. im not ready to let my story out yet.
jeffsays:April 25, 2011 12:20 PMReply
Hi Anonymous,
I’m sooo sorry they did that to you. 🙁 When religious groups get these head games going in their followers it certainly increases their hold over you and everybody’s built in reaction of fear as concerning leaving.
The inappropriately applied marriage analogies not only serve to keep their people loyal, but also puts everybody outside of top leadership positions thinking they should be as submissive as they also happen to teach that wives should be.
You HA people should count yourselves fortunate in at least this one respect….there actually are people out there who teach their followers through the same misapplied analogy that top leaders get to bed all the women they want. but for whatever it’s worth to you, I think it’s just a question of how far top leaders go with there twisted manipulations, and not so much whether or not they are twisted.