This thought is only partially developed, and its a little rough around the edges. Stick with me and maybe you can help me fully flesh it out in the comments.
Firstly, actions speak louder than words. If you tell me that God is love when you are filled with hate – which lesson do you think I’m going to remember?
As we’ve noted before, many spiritually abusive churches/ministries have very sound, orthodox doctrine. The problem is not always what they are saying about God with their mouth, but what they are saying about Him with their actions.
Now, a caveat – absolutely none of us can even hope to perfectly represent Christ. There will always be distortions – even gross ones. And I totally include myself in that statement. However, I think there is a difference when someone is repentant (read: genuinely sorry and working towards restitution). And in those things that are not so easily changed, they are open about their weakness; they don’t try to hide it or justify it. End caveat.
Secondly, many of us struggle with making the connection with what we know in our heads about God with what we know in our hearts. We “know” that God loves us, but we don’t really believe it in the deepest part of our heart. We can say all the right things, but in large part we don’t actually live them as true.
In the book, “How People Grow,” Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend point out that, “While the head works with ‘information gathering,’ the heart works with ‘experience gathering.'” So in essence, we can only really know what we have experienced.
So:
1) Actions speak louder than words.
2) We have head knowledge without deep heart knowledge.
3) We only know in our heart what we have experienced.
So let’s return to the Honor Academy for a minute. Why is it that so many earnest believers who have attended the HA feel unwanted, inadequate, worthless, not good enough, burned out and empty?
The HA preaches that God loves you, but they do not love you. They teach that God accepts you, but they do not accept you (unless you can fit into their mold). They teach there is “no condemnation in Christ Jesus” but there is plenty of condemnation in the Honor Academy, etc. etc.
So, of course, no matter what they preach, the message you will internalize is, “I am not good enough. I am not accepted. God does not really love me.”
Does that make sense to anyone?
Its not a heresy of doctrine – its a heresy of actions. Actions speak louder than words. It doesn’t matter what they communicate to you from the pulpit about God’s love and acceptance when they routinely treat you the exact opposite way that Jesus wants you to be treated.
Now, what’s especially sad about this situation is that the body of Christ was meant to reflect Christ by giving each other acceptance and grace.
Dr. Cloud reflects on his own experience in the spiritual and emotional healing process this way, “God did not delegate the process to people at all. He wore people as his uniforms. He came to live inside people and then lived out his wishes and will through them in a mystery called the Body of Christ. Jesus was with me all along by being in all of those who were helping me.”
He later says, “When all of our badness is known – and loved by grace – it loses its power.”
Maybe we have a hard time making the jump from head knowledge to heart knowledge because we have so little actual real-life experience with radical grace and love in our lives.
8 comments:
“Maybe we have a hard time making the jump from head knowledge to heart knowledge because we have so little actual real-life experience with radical grace and love in our lives.”
Wow, that is a powerful statement. And so true. When I signed up for the HA, I thought it would be a year of being build up. Instead I was only torn down. What a sad reflection on TM.
June 17, 2010 9:51 AM
Quivering Daughters said…
So true. In a recent interview I mentioned that it’s not necessarily the doctrine but the manner in which it’s carried out. This is why spiritual abuse is all the more insidious; it breeds cognitive dissonance which, at the very base level, is confusion. And we know what is not from God…
June 17, 2010 12:26 PM
Anonymous said…
This is a PERFECT description of the activities at the HA. 1 Corinthians 13 describes love in action.
June 17, 2010 4:31 PM
mom of ex-intern said…
“So let’s return to the Honor Academy for a minute. Why is it that so many earnest believers who have attended the HA feel unwanted, inadequate, worthless, not good enough, burned out and empty?
The HA preaches that God loves you, but they do not love you. They teach that God accepts you, but they do not accept you (unless you can fit into their mold). They teach there is “no condemnation in Christ Jesus” but there is plenty of condemnation in the Honor Academy, etc. etc.”
RA, well said…amen and amen to the above comments. I have been praying that Dave Hasz and Co. would get this not only in their heads, but realize their error and change their hearts and actions. This is very damaging to young adults (interns) at such a vital stage in their lives.
“Its not a heresy of doctrine – its a heresy of actions. Actions speak louder than words. It doesn’t matter what they communicate to you from the pulpit about God’s love and acceptance when they routinely treat you the exact opposite way that Jesus wants you to be treated.”
Again, well said, RA.
June 17, 2010 6:00 PM
Anonymous said…
RA, I think you are on to something…
“Maybe we have a hard time making the jump from head knowledge to heart knowledge because we have so little actual real-life experience with radical grace and love in our lives.”
June 17, 2010 7:03 PM
Mike said…
Seriously, RA you nailed it. Getting around all of TM’s double speak and getting to the heart of what’s wrong with their works-based, man-centered philosophy which is the opposite of what they preach. The “What we hear vs. what we experience” line of thought is exactly the truth, put forth in a way I hadn’t thought of. Kudos.
June 18, 2010 2:09 AM
Lauren said…
Reading this, I’m reminded of how I was at the internship. I definitely did not love and accept everyone. I definitely stereotyped those around me and tried to justify exclusion because I didn’t want to associate with the “heathen world.” I judged others based on their appearance, as if wearing black clothes and an eyebrow ring indicated a blackened heart. I informed others of their lack of excellence in dress/action, as comparised to myself. All the while raising my hands during worship and praying in tongues and preaching about missions and saving every last soul so Jesus could plan his second coming. What a hypocrite. GOD calls us to love. Oh, how we complicate that.
June 18, 2010 1:25 PM
Anonymous said…
Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name? Did we not drive out demons in your name? Did we not do mighty deeds in your name?’ Then I will declare to them solemnly, ‘I never knew you. 11 Depart from me, you evildoers.’
Matthew 7:23& 24
June 18, 2010 3:17 PM