Just to let you know, I have waited for going on 14 years to write my experiences down and have someone hear me and care. At first I wrote a few things down on the alumni website but I was largely ignored or occasionally confronted or my posts were deleted as not conforming to the websites User Agreement policies.
As an Intern in Aug 96-97, my class (and Jan. 96 class) were the transition class from Tulsa to Garden Valley. I can tell you about the evolution of the GV Internship (from my own perspective). As I perceived it, the move to GV was touted as a blessing and opportunity for the ministry to grow and expand so more of the kingdom of God could be ministered to and reached based on the increase of resources: property size/expansion, class size, and the opportunity to be fiscally sound by owning everything outright versus renting. Everything was new so everything was about trial and error. My friends and I can tell you stories about what intern did what that year that created “BVable rule or Disciplinary worthy rules: “breaking the door frames, climbing the warehouse fence, having a curfew in the men’s & women’s dorms, having a campus curfew, the “puma rumor”, the seeds of the creation of ESOAL, no pets – esp. strays, Don’t pop wheelies in the tractor or or other grounds equipment, Can’t drive unauthorized vehicles into the Back40, etc.
I was completely new to TM & to the Internship. My only exposure previously had been hearing Ron speak at one of my home church’s conferences wherein I signed up and went on a missions trip with TM to Venezuela in July 95. (I had never heard of an ATF.) The staging area for missionary training and deployment and debriefing was, at that time, a volunteer church in Miami. At that time all missionaries were place in nice hotel rooms throughout Miami. My only experience or exposure to the Internship were 2 Intern MA’s in my Missions group. They were amazing!! Life influencing so during my senior year I applied to ORU (another TM/Intern influenced decision) & the Honor Academy. I received a scholarship to ORU but decided to seek God for a year as I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do with my life. So I fund raised and was set to be an HA participant in Tulsa. ONLY it wasn’t communicated to any of the in-coming Intern applicants (to my knowledge) that TM was moving from Tulsa, OK to TX until we arrived for orientation in Tulsa. Surprise, surprise!!! It was a good surprise for me as my family lived in Houston, TX at the time, but still it wasn’t what I had signed up for, nor been told about, nor prepared for. Indeed the “pictures” they introduced and “sold” to our parents and guardians during orientation was what the campus NOW looks like – However that was NOT what the campus was when we moved there. And I honestly believe that if many interns and family members knew what was in store for us at the new campus some would not have become interns.
The Tulsa January 96 class had been sent ahead to begin making the formerly abandoned Last Days Ministries/Keith Green campus livable for the new, and at that time, largest class they ever had (just at 100 Interns + Apprentices). When we arrived there was only 1 dorm – Green Hall. At the time the dorm was made of sheet metal – totally making it look like a “TX cult” compound. When we arrived it was our duty and our necessity to clean this property up for the ministry and make it workable/inhabitable, which meant office work didn’t begin for a month or so (especially as the offices were still being built).
Making the campus inhabitable included cleaning, scrubbing, painting buildings/interiors, mowing 5-6 ft tall grass fields, clearing out brush, kicking out/evicting the remaining former Last Days Ministries personnel living in the trailers in the Back 40, killing fire ant mounds (which for those of us new to TX meant having an entirely new experience) and all the spiders and other pests we encountered. While these pest are not new to TX or the Midwest or even now on campus, it was the massive assault due to the properties having “returned to nature” and the organization’s total inexperience and lack of proper tools/know how/preparation/protection as to how to properly address & be rid of these pests. I remember many times seeing poisonous snakes and spiders: Rattlers, black widows, & fiddlers in areas of the brush we were clearing out sometimes without gloves, or eye wear or proper clothing. It was entirely by the grace of God that no one was seriously injured or poisoned. Another task was tearing down & setting afire the original Last Days Ministries Log building which was infested with termites and MORE. Speaking of infestations the abandoned dorms and bunk bed mattresses that had been stored in the “Bat Cave” were infested with Chiggers and more. EVERYONE in our class that lived in those dorms 7 slept on those mattresses experienced/lived with chiggers, insect/spider bites/and or more for many months. One of my roommates kept having re-occurring chigger infestations for about 6 months. Other clean up duties included creating trash land fills in the Back 40 where many were assigned to bury or burn all the rubbish.
After the majority of the bush had been tamed: grass mowed, “dirt walkways lined with pebbles” established, dorms/cafeteria “cleaned” and inhabited, we were placed in our jobs all to leadership’s tune that “we prayed and felt that this is were God wants you to be.” Now perhaps for this being the last “smaller” size August class that might be true, especially as they had a month to evaluate and “grade” us. But still there was a definite hierarchy and status associated with positions and eventually all the “unattractive people” or individuals who were considered problem children fell into positions in the kitchen, grounds crew, or cleaning crew. There was a lot of stigma to being placed in these positions, particularly as people were eventually reassigned to these positions as a means of — “filling a need in the ministry” — punishment or way of removing and not having to deal with certain people and their brokenness. But all this was for the good of the ministry and we didn’t want to be complainers we wanted to be champions and ground breakers! We were all told that we were establish a new and firm foundation for future intern classes and indeed generations of the world. We were World Changers and if all the above was what was necessary so I or others could be cleared to go forth then we were going to do it! It wasn’t until leaving the Internship that many of us resented being used as work mules. While many only worked 40 hours a week others worked 80-100 hours a week.
In Tulsa, they spoke of the honor it was to be to be placed in the “Call Center” and the “new technology/resources” that the call center was to have to enable us to reach more for the gospel. But after many of us assigned there failed to make our quotas we realized it was all a numbers game and many became disillusioned which meant we were likely/eventually confronted/disciplined or reassigned to “lesser” positions as stated above. And we all recognized the privilege it was to work in IO (International Operations – now Global Expeditions).
In the spring, TM implemented volunteer (mandatory) work weekends, so that we could continue finish preparing the property for summer missionaries. The work weekends were presented as though they were optional character/leadership building but if you didn’t sign up for and complete a minimum amount of “volunteer” days you were disciplined (dish duty was the primary punishment). We did not have an Honor Council to handle infractions disciplinary actions were handled by leadership. Then in the last PUSH just before the missionaries were to arrive leadership invented the now famous “Bed Making Factory”. At first the factory was manned by Grounds/Cleaning Crews but eventually and with the realization of the largest flux of missionaries TM was to ever have (and no hotel rooms to put the kids up in) was arriving soon, leadership went into hyper-drive declaring that ALL the interns would be required to participate in a 2 shift, 3 day, 24 hour push. The class was split in half and while one half started their 8 – 12 hour shifts, the other half was sent to the cafeteria to chug/sling our food & sleep for 6-8 hours before returning to work for another 8-12 hours. I remember being so physically exhausted and tired after a few of these shifts that I would skip meals and showers just to sleep those few more precious minutes. The dangers of this shift arrangement were great. Chief danger was if your shift started at 2:00am. I repeat there weren’t any paved roads at this time, just mud, rock & gravel, & pot holes although a new dorm and the Loop & guard tower were in the process of being constructed at that time. So arriving to work at 2:00am wasn’t so bad — unless the needed you and your team to move equipment/beds/supplies along these pot hole, uneven ground, dirt roads with little to no light – save a spare flood light at departure and destination areas.
38 comments:
I did not participate in the transition from Tulsa to Garden Valley, but I did arrive 4 months later to start my internship in Jan. ’97. I remember hearing all of the horror stories of trying to get the grounds cleared when the move first happened. I thanked my lucky stars that I arrived 4 months later.
At one point at the start of my internship year I recall having to move a 2,000lb. piece of equipment from the cafeteria with nothing but our hands. We gathered around the piece of equipment and simply lifted it up onto the flat bed that the grounds crew drove around campus. Dave Hasz was there, helping us of course and encouraging our efforts. (During those days he looked exhausted all the time. I can’t imagine he got much more sleep than we did.)
I had forgotten about the mandatory work weekends until I read it here. I must have blocked those out. But I do remember the bunk bed making factory quite well and being so exhausted that I walked around in a sleep deprived stupor for days on end.
I also recall the manipulation of requiring the January class, most of which had applied to be RA’s (is that what they called it back then?), to do extra shifts because we were going to be the future leaders of the campus. If we had applied to be RA’s we were required to participate in extra bunk bed shifts, simply because we needed to show that we were making extra effort.
I also remember being told time and time again that TM wasn’t asking us to do anything the administration wasn’t doing. To a certain extent this was true, but I think we worked a bit more than they did. I remember seeing Dave on campus pretty consistently working with us, and I recall him being exhausted all the the time, but he was there quite a bit. But again, the administration at that time also worked in shifts and I suspect got a bit more sleep than we did.
Our internship class had many conversations about being TM’s work horses, but we did it with joy because we were making eternal deposits……again, works versus grace. At the time we were happy to do it because that’s what we signed up for – to ultimately work for God.
March 16, 2010 7:36 AM
Shiloh said…
So interesting. Even now, I’m pretty well over all hurt/devotion toward T.M. either way, the ministry is sort of just another ministry to me.
But the sound of working like that around the clock (T.M. biggest promotion) still gets me hyped up! lol. I can fully understand how anyone would think going to the H.A. (or on G.E. or really…. any internship or missions trip) would be an amazing experience, because there is just something in humans that loves the rush of being pushed.
And honestly, it was quite a fun experience. Just left me messed up with all the lies they spoon fed us. But while AT the H.A. I loved it.
March 16, 2010 9:19 AM
Jenn said…
I was a Jan 96- and was on the “road crew” before they changed to “ministry team” that August-
The roadies were the first on the new campus- I remember pulling up (after driving through the night) and seeing the grass up to the van windows, buildings that looked like they should never be entered b/c of how ‘back to nature’ they had become… And for 5 days (maybe a week?) it was just the January road crew who was there to get the area ‘prep-ed’ for everyone else to join us- first the rest of the Jan’s then the new August class.
I remember trying to sleep knowing I had seen a rattlesnake in the “dorm” and not to mention that the rest of our group had seen black widows and banana spiders ALL over the place- needless to say I slept in the van that night. But yes “Amber” we must know eachother- because I remember well the move to TX- though I will say being a Jan they didn’t tell us we were moving until right before mission trips? Or maybe it was right after? That summer was just a blur…
March 16, 2010 9:24 AM
reluctant-intern said…
I was also a Jan ’97 intern (hi Carol!) and I remember thinking the EXACT same thing – how LUCKY I was to have gotten there 4 months after the August class had cleared the way for us. And in spite of that, I remember SO many weekends that were spent continuing the work.
And the 3-day 24 hour work weekend… Boy, was that fun. I remember thinking how LUCKY I was that I got the 2nd shift because I actually got to get some sleep before I had to start working at 2 am. There was a huge storm that day – I remember getting to “work” at 2 am and having the previous shift tell me they had seen a tornado and that they had been required to stay in doors.
I don’t remember what my job was that shift, but I remember one of those days I had to walk the perimeter of the property pulling stakes out of the ground with my bare hands. They were bloody and blistered by the time we were done.
@Shiloh – um, there was NOTHING to get hyped up about. NOBODY (that I knew) enjoyed the around-the-clock work. I was NOT fun. But to each his own, I guess.
March 16, 2010 10:30 AM
1security1 said…
I Arrived in GV in June of 98 for something called TRIP W. For those of us who had not been on a TM mission trip, trip W allowed you to come to the HA early and work on grounds and maintenance for two months until the August class officially began. We were given a very long preview of what the HA was all about. Out of the 30 or so that started only 20 survived until the start of the actual internship.
I still remember all the ditch digging in 110F heat, equipment moving, and then even more work waiting for us in the evening preparing meals for the missionaries.
Despite all of this, I heard from a few GIs about the original move from Tulsa to GV and I am very grateful for you Amber, Carol, Shiloh, Jen, reluctant-intern…who helped pave the way for the rest of us. I can’t say that your work and sacrifice helped to change the world and lead countless to Christ, but you did help to make mine and other’s internship experience more bearable. Thanks again for all your work.
March 16, 2010 12:28 PM
Anonymous said…
I’m wondering if laws were broken here…I mean, you sign up to go volunteer your time and are then baited and switched to TX. And then you work almost sweat shop like conditions without your prior knowledge to these conditions. Seems to me that this can not be legal, let alone ethical.
Just wondering…..
March 16, 2010 12:52 PM
Nunquam Honorablus said…
Unfortunately, Anon 12:52, there’s a loophole around that. Because we’re volunteers, the labor laws don’t apply to us… just “employees”.
However, they do have a Texas Labor Laws poster up in one of the hallways… there were things that interns do that directly went against it, but again, the loophole.
Makes me wonder why they even have it up.
March 16, 2010 1:41 PM
Keith said…
This was probably not a good idea on the part of the ministry. No, I take that back, this was not a good idea at all. I remember in those days how gung ho Ron was. I do think things happened fast on their end too though. Things like, they just got all this land in sort of a surprise fashion, they needed to move out of Tulsa quickly to make ends meet, and all these interns signed up to serve the ministry. That would be a crazy experience if you were a new intern. I’m the type of weirdo that would probably like it, but I know I don’t fit in the range of normal when it comes to work and extreme camping/climbing adventure type stuff.
I want to give you a little encouragement toward your healing. Yes, you busted your tail and suffered a lot that summer, but the vision actually came to completion. I personally want to thank you for the things that made campus nice: I got to stay in comfortable dorms, walk on nice paths, I had a safe environment for summer trips, etc… I’m not trying to rub in the fact that classes after you had an easier time, I just want to point out that your work meant something and that real ministry goes out from that campus. The work you did matters a lot and it matters for eternity. Thanks!
March 16, 2010 2:11 PM
reluctant-intern said…
Because the Texas labor laws DO apply to the paid staff members – just not the interns. 😉
March 16, 2010 2:14 PM
Elizabeth said…
Yes campus is now really nice in its physical aprearance; however, the spiritual/emotional/physical hurts the ministry is inflicting is ugly. What does it matter about the exterior appearance when the interior is rotting?
March 16, 2010 2:29 PM
Layne said…
Toward the end of my time there as a part-time staff member, I vaguly remember having conversations and/or meetings regarding the work enviornment and labor laws as they apply to volunteers, but as it’s been 6-ish years (and I spent most of my time not paying attention in meetings), I can’t remember anything about it. From what I understand, they have made adjustments.
I could tell you a tale or two about my time as a part-timer/college student (I really can’t remember what acronym they assigned to us) in the webdesign/IT department during the blurry Proctor and Gamble days when Rick something-or-other took over and crushed our hearts with his corporate “strategy”. The lovely little lies they told.
That being said, the IT crew and staff were always some of the most honest and dedicated people at TM, and it was an honor to work for them.
March 16, 2010 2:35 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Keith – I hear what you are saying regarding things moving so quickly in the early days. Mistakes were made, obviously. HOWEVER, why can’t Ron, Dave, etc admit wrong doing and apologize?
Elizabeth – Excellent analysis. So what if the campus looks nice – your slave labor “paved the way” for other classes to be similarly abused – and it continues to this day. Many departments regularly work well over the supposed 31 hour limit. This type of indentured servitude is NOT acceptable, no matter what the outcome. The ends do not justify the means.
And while everyone is enjoying their nice sidewalks and dorms, many of the people who paid the price for those things are living with disillusionment and disappointment, wondering who God is and if He actually cares about them, or just wants their free labor.
March 16, 2010 2:37 PM
Anonymous said…
RA – You sound like you’re making the rationalization that every, entire class is emotionally and spiritually “abused” and that nothing good comes from Teen Mania. Could you expound or explain?
March 16, 2010 2:41 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
I don’t think every single person is abused – but the amount of people that are abused is in the double digit percentage, if not the majority.
March 16, 2010 2:44 PM
Anonymous said…
RA – Thank you for explaining. I have two more questions along this conversation line. Please, don’t consider this presumptuous, I am actually curious. You state that the percentage of interns abused is in the double digits if not the majority. Is this an actual statistical study you have performed? Also, by abused, do you mean left the internship sustaining serious emotional/mental injury or were simply pushed too far in certain areas during the internship.
March 16, 2010 2:50 PM
Anonymous said…
well said elizabeth.
March 16, 2010 2:55 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Good questions.
By abused, I mean actual spiritual, emotional, verbal or physical (ESOAL!) abuse. Click on the category spiritual abuse to see some definitions of what that is.
I wish there was a study performed – but logistically, I think that would probably be too difficult. I’m basing this on the people I know personally from my class and the many interns I’ve met and heard about over the years. I think that once you’ve been out for several years, the fog of youth and naivete clears and you look at things differently.
I know there are alot of people who would consider the internship a great experience and would say they were not abused. Some I know personally, others I know through their family and friends. They say the internship was great – but they have turned into spiritual abusers themselves: no patience for weary or broken people and a strict spiritual perfectionism which drives them, often to despair.
I do know a few people who weren’t negatively affected by the internship – by and large these were people with really strong loving family backgrounds who were already rooted and secure in God’s love before they came, and who were not looking to leadership for approval and ultimate truth.
March 16, 2010 2:57 PM
Keith said…
I’m sorry my comment to you was so marginalized and/or slandered. So, I will restate it for you. Thank you for the work you put in. It made a positive change for eternity in many, many ways. Though the ministry down in TX is not perfect, it is not rotting either. I’m sorry you are suffering from all the unexpected work you had to do, but I want you to know someone appreciates it.
March 16, 2010 3:02 PM
Anonymous said…
RA – Thank you for explaining.
March 16, 2010 3:04 PM
Elizabeth said…
@ Keith, I didn’t consider what you said marginalized and/or slandered. Your appreciation is valued, as is my own appreciation and pride for seeing the physical campus evolve into what is now.
That being said a pretty and comfortable campus has I am sure with some visitors, potential applicants, guardians, HA attendants blinded them from really researching or investigating or observing or considering what they will be involved with and what goes on.
I will use a gross analogy to make my point, A person who gets beaten regularly has bruises to show for the beating. However, if they cover the appearance of the bruises (for whatever their reason or motivation) with makeup, clothing or excuses the world thinks they are fine and remains ignorant to the fact that they are being beaten.
I perceived the point of what was written in Amber’s story not to object or complain about the unexpected work but to share that from the foundation of the GV campus and evolution of the GV HA/Internhip there were cracks/flaws/problems/wrongs.
March 16, 2010 4:59 PM
Elizabeth said…
Ohh and it does anger me to think that Amber’s and my volunteer desire/sacrifice, work, hope, prayer, and belief in the ministry — would all these years later remain and even evolve into an a thing that hurts/wounds/betrays/confuses those who came solely to seek and serve God.
March 16, 2010 5:03 PM
Nick said…
Just saw RL’s e-mail. Want to affirm you, RA, I don’t think your mass e-mail was a breach of privacy; I’m assuming you used e-mails we all posted to the alumni forum, knowing that all the other people on the forum had access to them. You didn’t subscribe us all to a newsletter, you sent us ONE e-mail, and I for one am glad you did.
RL says that they have “reached out to you.” Could you talk about that experience more?
March 16, 2010 5:42 PM
Anonymous said…
Yes, Elizabeth, we can tell you are angry. They have tricked everyone and forced them to stay and be beaten. They then brainwashed them into thinking they liked it.
March 16, 2010 5:46 PM
Anonymous said…
Can anyone tell me the best possible recipe you can make from Ramen Noodles?
March 16, 2010 5:47 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Nick, thank you. Yes, I will address everything in Ron’s email. I am working on it now and will post later tonight or early morning tomorrow.
March 16, 2010 5:48 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Um, anon, I think that might be off topic…
March 16, 2010 5:48 PM
Anonymous said…
Ya man, I had a friend who mixed up some jalapeños and pickles with his. It sounds gross, but together they are tasty and cheap. And yes, this is off topic, so let’s focus people.
March 16, 2010 5:55 PM
Anonymous said…
This conversation kind of reminds me of that book “Blue Like Jazz”. That book was screwed up. Did anyone else find it a little messed up?
March 16, 2010 5:59 PM
Anonymous said…
R.A. — could you explain what the deal with the letter was? I didn’t get it. And I’m confused how Ron got mine. Cause I don’t think I’ve given T.M. my email. I used a different one for the alumni sight.
But could you address if what you did was illigal or not. lol. We all need some peace of mind on that one.
March 16, 2010 6:03 PM
Anonymous said…
Um. that comment didn’t make a lot of since.
What the deal was with YOUR email that you sent out. I got Rons email but I don’t know how he got my email.
hope that clearifys my really pourly thought out comment.
March 16, 2010 6:04 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
The alumni addresses that I have, and by no means do I have all of them, are all posted on the alumni website or gathered from friends, facebook, etc.
March 16, 2010 6:07 PM
Heather said…This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
March 16, 2010 6:08 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
People – you really need to read the comment policy. I don’t care how “nice” your comment is – if you say that nobody is perfect (therefore abuse is ok), you WILL be deleted.
March 16, 2010 6:09 PM
Heather said…This post has been removed by a blog administrator.
March 16, 2010 6:17 PM
Shannon said…
RA, I am looking forward to reading your response to RL’s email. I think his email was in poor taste and quickly turned my mouth sour reading that crap again.
March 16, 2010 6:19 PM
Carol said…
Hi RA – I also did not receive the letter that you sent out to everyone. Would you by any chance post that letter to this blog so those of us that are in the dark can read it? I think it’s important for us to see all sides, especially since Ron Luce sent out a mass email to alumni today.
March 16, 2010 6:22 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Heather – read the comment policy, including the links. You still don’t get it…
March 16, 2010 6:22 PM
Anonymous said…
Does TM have all of our emails? Are they spying on us? If they are, how can I tell what they are driving? That is the thing that scared me the most about HA: all of the spies and the hidden cameras and microphones.
March 17, 2010 5:41 PM
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