Moderator’s Note: “Brandi” prefers to retain her anonymity, but I am allowed to tell you that this story took place within the last few years.
Two years before coming to the Honor Academy, I was saved from wiccanism at an Acquire the Fire. I didn’t know what to do with my life so I ended up at the Honor Academy
My first year was not the intern dream. My core advisor (CA) always seemed like she was disappointed in me. During the winter, I had bronchitis, and it really seemed to make her upset that I refused to go to corporate exercise since being outside aggravated it. On top of the bronchitis, I have asthma and according to the doctor, I am really not supposed to do anything that gets me breathing heavily (this is why I did ballet as a kid it was the only sport I could do). When I tried to explain myself, I knew she didn’t understand. Furthermore when I did go to exercise, I insisted upon going to sick and injured group.
As a core building exercise, for the period of a month, all 8 girls left in my core at the time moved into one room. Which was great except for the fact that there weren’t enough beds. I kind of wondered whether stuff like that was monitored or approved or not. Also, while my CA refused to let us have guy friends, she had a boyfriend which always made me a little angry. If she didn’t have to live up to that standard, then why did we? She challenged us girls to not be friends with any boys for a unnamed amount of time. I am a tomboy and have been since I was a little girl. I always thought girls were catty and found that most of the girls in my core were just like that. So needless to say, I made guy friends. During my intern year, none of these were ever physically or romantically inappropriate (except for one rule violation below). But over the course of the fall semester, I was banned from about 8 different male friends. Every time, my Core Advisor would tell me that they weren’t appropriate friends. So I moved on. A little part of me almost died, though, and I haven’t been the same since. Before the HA, I had a more dominant personality, but now I just try to make as few waves as possible. They told me I was phlegmatic so that was what I became.
My CA didn’t even give me the dignity of being called by my name. I have been called by my middle name my whole life and she insisted because another girl in my core had that name, too, that I be called by my first name instead.
Two months into the internship, I had to appear before the Honor Council. I told a man that I liked him and he said it back. Nothing ever happened beyond the occasional hug (not side hugs, I must add, yet another of my many sins). We had waited two weeks before telling the honor council what happened. We didn’t really see it as a bad thing since we weren’t acting on it or “losing focus” which I thought was the heart behind the rule.
There was an intern on the honor council – I don’t remember his name, but I remember what he said, “What makes you think you can fool us into believing there was nothing else?” (he paused then continued) “I was formerly a liar and I know when I am being lied to.” My response was, “You don’t even know me.” That’s the problem with that entire process – it’s a jury of your so-called peers but none of them even knew me. Ironically enough, when I was in custodial I would later take out most of their trash… (and get treated like trash along the way) but would they remember me or what they had said? No. By the end of that meeting I was almost praying to get dismissed.
Instead, I was put on probation. The assignments they gave seemed to be the same no matter what you were caught doing, which I think is a little silly. My friend, who struggled with both bulimia and cutting throughout her internship, was given the same growth plan. Needless to say, it didn’t help either one of us. We were supposed to read James and Romans, write a paper on them and then listen to this sermon on humility and then read Battlefield of the Mind and write a paper on that, too. The only difference between her probation and mine is that I got banned from my friend for the rest of my internship. They originally told me that I would be able to speak with him eventually, but they never told me when that time was. So it turned out that we didn’t speak till the end of the year (we are now good friends).
I was originally signed to K-Crew before custodial. I HATED working with Ms. Olin! She yelled at me for not being bubbly. I am not a particularly bubbly person and I got written up for not being something that I am not. I only worked for her for a few weeks but she had some serious problems with me. Nothing that I did was ever good enough or right. I was a salad bar girl and I would have the task of arranging the fruit in the morning and usually no one would be available to help me carry the boxes of fruit out. Yet, I was almost written up for being rebellious and not letting the boys help me with the fruit. She told me it was not a ladies job to carry heavy boxes.
I danced a lot of ballet as a child, so I have very abused knees. 12 hours into ESOAL, I had to ring out. I am a small person and my knee was swollen to the size of an orange. Dave Hasz insisted that I tell him the proper thing before ringing out and told me that I didn’t have an excuse for work in the morning. I was on K-Crew and that is a job where I was on my feet. Of course, because there was no one to do my job, I was refused a sick day.
For my midway defense, I wrote a poem about the average day in the life of me. It was supposed to be kind of funny and just silly…But i was in a room once again full of people I didn’t know. They called me a pharisee and said that I was “washing the outside of the cup but not washing the inside.” In response (at this point, I still had what it took to stand up for myself) I looked at her and said, “You don’t even know me” and she gave me a look and told me that she had based that on what I had just said. Then I responded “But do you know my heart?” to which she said nothing. I do not know her name we never spoke after this she is just a GI to me…
The world awareness LTE was also a fascinating experience for me. I am still not sure of the purpose behind it. They say it’s so you can know what third world countries are like but I am not sure how you justify what happened to me. I was one of the first ones chosen to be in jail. We stayed in the shower house and I thought that things weren’t right. A girl in the stall next to me was trying to pass me food because I am hypoglycemic. They heard and verbally abused her for her heinous error. They let us sleep through the night (if you could bear the opera music) and they woke us up at what I estimate to be about 7oclock in the morning to watch a video… At which point we returned where the real disaster began. They had us in our shower stalls facing the shower head. Now I suppose this is normal practice for a concentration camp but…A staff member had a water pistol and went about squirting the girls with it…I had on a white shirt so I was mostly spared, but it irked me. It was then that I had a panic attack. I don’t have them often but with my arms and legs spread facing that shower head I began to cry at which point I was verbally harassed as they didn’t believe I was actually having a real panic attack. So I carried on screaming. When a single GI came to comfort me he actually spoke encouraging words until he was taken away by some people that, in my opinion, were way too into character. I was then led away to get a drink of water. Even though I was under severe emotional distress would not let me leave the “jail” until someone agreed to go in my place from all the people that hadn’t experienced jail yet. In my second year I refused to take part in this LTE (for obvious reasons). I was given a hard time and asked where my heart was.
Even through all of the things that happened to me, I fully bought into it the Honor Academy. I wanted the ring; I believed that somehow it would make me a better person for having it (as if it would keep me out of the trouble that I always found myself in).
39 comments:
Wow, Brandi…thanks for sharing your story! I’m so sorry you were treated that way just for having male friends. I can’t believe you had to appear before the “Honor” Council just for giving someone a hug and saying that you liked him. UFB! Teen Mania doesn’t seem to understand that everyone is different and that individuals need to be treated as such–I’m glad you touched on that as well!
And telling you that you basically couldn’t speak to 8 other specific interns during your year??? If that doesn’t SCREAM ‘cult,’ I don’t know what does. :-/
Hi, Brandi. Could you clarify what this sentence means: “Dave Hasz insisted that I tell him the proper thing before ringing out and told me that I didn’t have an excuse for work in the morning.”
I know most of the TM jargon, but I don’t know what it means that you were to tell him “the proper thing.”
Thanks!
Jacquelinesays:July 6, 2010 at 8:16 AM
I’m so sorry you went through this Brandi.
Josephinesays:July 6, 2010 at 11:36 AM
Exactly where is the abuse in this story?
Nunquam Honorablussays:July 6, 2010 at 11:55 AM
Josephine- I hope your question was a genuine one, and you didn’t mean for it to come across in a skeptical manner. Either way, here are two things to consider:
1. this is Part ONE (a fact that sent chills down my spine; this story was sad enough!).
2. the ridiculous control exerted over Brandi and her core, and the harsh judgment from people who didn’t even know her.
Just because she wasn’t smacked across the face with a javelin doesn’t mean her pain isn’t valid. You didn’t say that, of course, but I understand that spiritual abuse of this kind isn’t as obvious.
Brandi- I am SO sorry. I think I was there your year; the experience in jail sounds eerily familiar. It might not have been my year, but I know there was a girl having some sort of panic attack in one of the “cells”. We could all hear the crying pretty clearly, and the facilitators shouting at her. Whether or not this was you, I’m sorry. Really.
Nunquam Honorablussays:July 6, 2010 at 11:58 AM
Eeek, rereading my last comment, I realize that my “just because” insert came off pretty rude! I’m sorry; I didn’t mean for it to come across like that. :/
Maybe I should have just left that part out? It was meant to inject some sort of subtle comic relief, but it just came out biting instead. Sorry Josephine.
@Josephine– Try “Now I suppose this is normal practice for a concentration camp but…” Yeah. Really, the whole thing is a classic picture of emotional abuse patterns. (Go to that link, study it, and compare Brandi’s story; you’ll see a lot.)
What a horrible first impression of Christianity, Brandi! I’m so sorry!
phoenixsays:July 6, 2010 at 12:11 PM
NH – I didn’t read the comment as rude/biting, I thought pretty much the same thing actually.
I think that there are quite a few points in Brandi’s story that range from mean to abusive. If Josephine didn’t get that I guess she would have walked away not feeling slighted and or abused, I get that. But to assume that Brandi wouldn’t feel wounded by those events because she (Josephine) didn’t or wouldn’t have, was kind of rude and presumptuous.
At the vary least it question could have been stated better.
Josephine,
The message that Brandi received from her Christian leaders is that she was not good enough or accepted. This is spiritual abuse.
From the book, Soul Repair:
Whenever we give others the message that their relationship with God depends on something other than God’s love and grace – or that God’s love and grace need to be earned in some way – we are perpetrating spiritual abuse. (pg. 22)
Spiritual abuse communicates the message that God does not love and accept us as we are, that we must work to earn God’s approval and that God’s love and grace are not enough.(p 29)
Also, her physical well being and safety were in jeopardy – she had a panic attack and an ankle injury that were completely neglected.
Josephinesays:July 6, 2010 at 3:00 PM
Unless I’m missing something, she didn’t say that she thought her relationship with God depended on her performance at Teen Mania or, to quote you, something other than God’s love and grace.
Instead, it looks like she was dealing with discipline she didn’t like because she wasn’t following the rules. Who actually LIKES discipline? Not liking discipline doesn’t equate to abuse though…
1. She wanted to be friends with boys, not girls.
2. She got in trouble for hugging a boy.
3. She didn’t like the discipline from the Honor Council.
4. She didn’t like the person in charge of the kitchen crew.
5. She had to ring out of ESOAL because she hurt her knee. She was denied a sick day. Do we know that she received no medical care? Was her knee permanently injured as a result? Participating in physically strenuous activities has some measure of risk. She knew her knees were bad. Again, was she denied medical care (that she requested)?
6. Her first experience was bad, so she chose not to participate in an LTE during her second year. She didn’t like being asked about why. Should she not have been asked why? Life is also full of hard questions that we have to answer. Being asked hard questions isn’t abuse.
It is also interesting to me that she went back for a second year.
I like browniessays:July 6, 2010 at 3:38 PM
I’m sorry… 8 girls to a room?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? For a MONTH?!?!?!?!? There is definitely something wrong with that. Fitting 6 girls in one room felt way too claustrophobic already… but EIGHT, that’s insanity!!!! It’s crazy that your CA was allowed to do that!!!
@Josephine – I think you missed a few details in your recap. Namely, why do you suppose Brandi “didn’t like” all that stuff? Maybe because it was handled in an emotionally abusive way. Anybody who knows what emotional abuse is can tell that a mile away. Hint: Why was she being “disciplined” in a situation where no discipline was rationally required? (Being friends with boys? Oh, the horror!)
It’s all explained succinctly at the article I linked above, which I strongly recommend you read before jumping to conclusions.
Turn it around: Would you “like it” if a stranger called you a liar when you gave your word, judged your heart for something that isn’t even a sin, or wrote you up for something that wasn’t your fault?
Would the problem with those situations be just that you didn’t like them?
Corkysays:July 6, 2010 at 4:06 PM
I don’t mean to down-play the pain that you are feeling, but I fail to see where Teenmania did anything wrong in this story so far.
You were given probation for something that in previous years could have gotten you dismissed.
You were part of an exercise (World Awareness LTE) that has always been physically and emotionally demanding, but everyone does this retreat and few have issue with it.
I’ll be the first to admit that I have never had a panic attack, but why the attack because of being squirt with a water pistol?
Again, I do not mean to down-play or be a jerk, but I really do not see anything wrong here!
shouldcarelesssays:July 6, 2010 at 4:06 PM
^^what Eric said^^
Josephine and Corky – there is much I could say in reply but I’ll try to keep it short.
The fact is that she had a reasonable expectation of emotional support and physical safety at TM. Neither of which she got in any of these situations. She felt like she was “treated like trash,” falsely accused of lying, falsely accused of being a Pharisee (in what sounds like a very hurtful way), she recieved constant disapproval (read: REJECTION) from her Christian leadership. She had a panic attack and instead of grace, she was verbally harassed.
If all this sounds like acceptable behavior to you, then I think you are really missing something.
Corkysays:July 6, 2010 at 4:21 PM
Thanks for the explanation, RA.
Again, I did not mean to be a jerk or anything.
No problem. 🙂
Here’s another article on the subject. Quote:
Emotional abuse is any behavior that is designed to control another person through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults. It can include verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics like intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.
Emotional abuse is like brainwashing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in her perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it be by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of “guidance” or teaching, the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient loses all sense of self and all remnants of personal value.
Read the lists of characteristics of emotional abuse in either of these articles, and you may come away thinking that the folks at Honor Academy had been reading and taking notes.
CarrieSaumsays:July 6, 2010 at 5:12 PM
brandi, your story made me SO ANGRY. really, nothing gets me more fired up than someone who is in clear physical or emotional pain, and people ignore, downplay, or further escalate the situation on purpose. the LTE sounds *almost* as bad as ESOAL in that regard, except maybe worse in some ways…you can’t ring out of the LTE when it becomes too much.
laynesays:July 6, 2010 at 5:51 PM
I had a response to some of the above and realized that I needed to shut the computer down and walk away before I jumped into a big ol’ pile of emotionally charged reactionism.
Glad for it.
If HA resolves to continue these hyper-crazy LTE’s (where are these ideas coming from), they need to have A: trained counselors on hand and B: a safe word that any intern can use in a situation they feel is getting out-of-control (for themselves or peers) that will allow everyone an out-of-character time out.
Candorsays:July 6, 2010 at 6:31 PM
I’m so sorry, Brandi. I can’t imagine how traumatic that was for. I’m sorry that you had to go through that and I’m even more sorry that somebody in leadership didn’t step in to make things right. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I hope you receive the healing you deserve.
ancient internsays:July 6, 2010 at 6:43 PM
One of the things that bothers me about these simulations (which were all developed after my internship) is that TM really works hard to make the scenarios as realistic as possible, and the premise of them is rather traumatic.
From the stories shared here, they seem to try to really heat them up if an intern is not taking them seriously enough. So, it’s a group of under-trained teenagers trying to find that “happy middle ground” of really scary but not quite psychologically or physically damaging. Hmmm…not clear on how that could possibly not veer onto dangerous ground pretty fast.
As a full time missionary, I don’t get the HA’s focus on persecution. This is an extremely rare phenomenon for overseas workers, even for those who work in difficult situations. It just seems to me there are a great many other types of simulations or learning experiences that would be helpful to people going into missions, ministry, or just the real world.
I’m so sorry for your bad experience, Brandi. My prayers are with you.
Josephinesays:July 6, 2010 at 11:03 PM
@RA – Do you believe that every single intern, regardless of their emotional, physical or mental state, is going to find constant physical safety, emotional support and approval at Teen Mania?
Do you believe this is a reasonable expectation of Teen Mania?
Are you psychologically profiling the people behind the stories you post?
Could you be primarily hearing from a group of people with chemical issues that prevent them from properly processing and interpreting their environment?
How do you know that the people you have profiled even had the ability to successfully complete the HA program?
Does someone with authority problems make it through the program? If they get kicked out, is it their fault or Teen Mania’s? Were they abused because they didn’t make it because they couldn’t submit to the rules of the program?
Are you planning to write a post that outlines your questions and Teen Mania’s public response to those questions on the conference call?
You’ve used your blog to publicly bring SERIOUS charges against Teen Mania. The credibility of your sources is a big, unanswered question.
Myndasays:July 6, 2010 at 11:06 PM
I am with ancient. Whenever an individual is put in a situation like this is it by strangers, not brothers and sisters in Christ. Im sure that God doesn’t ever desire for his children to suffer. Then in these real situations God brings grace and comfort not only for the benefit of the individual but as a witness to those around them. It is God’s situation, not ours… why would we find it important to “practice” this abuse? Esp on eachother? How can this not be damaging?
Im sorry to all those who have gone through this and came out traumatized.
@RA – Do you believe that every single intern, regardless of their emotional, physical or mental state, is going to find constant physical safety, emotional support and approval at Teen Mania?
– It might not be constant. Mistakes will be made. But THESE ARE PATTERNS NOT ISOLATED INCIDENTS. THESE PATTERNS MAKE UP THE CULTURE OF TM AND ARE WIDESPREAD.
I find it strange that you think a Christian ministry shouldn’t be expected to you know…be like Christ? He certainly offers emotional support, physical safety and unconditional acceptance.
I find your implication that those who submit their stories are somehow mentally unfit instead of the environment at the HA being unfit – preposterous, ridiculous and insulting. There are many mental health professionals that would not hesitate to call the environment at Teen Mania abusive. No doubt its led to mental health problems for the vast majority of us. Whatever issues people enter the HA with, the fact is THEY ARE ABUSED. PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY, and SPIRITUALLY.
And for someone with so many psychological questions, your question shows a profound ignorance of the subject.
You can refuse to understand the facts that are plain in front of your face by questioning the credibility of these people. But if there stories didn’t ring true for my several hundred daily readers, they wouldn’t visit every day and they wouldn’t be posting supportive comments.
For some reason you find the behavior of TM leadership acceptable and I feel sorry for you because of that. I’m not sure if you are just in denial or if you’ve really never seen these behaviors at TM. If you haven’t, well great for you. But that doesn’t mean that the people sharing their stories here are somehow to mentally unstable to remember what happened to them.
I will write a post about my response to the conference call. It will probably be up next week.
HKHsays:July 7, 2010 at 12:40 AM
@ “Josephine”
I frequently read these boards and do not respond or comment at all, but I’d like to say something here.
I have sat here and read many stories and feel so sad for the experiences these people have had and that in some extreme cases, these things were overlooked. I’ve also read some stories and thought to myself “this person needs to start living their life and stop blaming it on what happened to them at teen mania” but I don’t say anything..
While my time at TM was pretty good other than a few personalitly coinflicts with my CA and ACA, (which I absolutely do not hold TM, DH, or RL responsible for) there are clearly some issues that have taken place to some people, and in this case, “Brandi”, that need to be addressed and/or prevented in the future.
It seems that you are pro-Teen Mania, which I am not saying is bad, however, please take a step back, pray for compassion and re-read this girl’s story. Step out of your cynicism and you may be able to read behind what this girl is saying.
Many times people don’t realize the damages of the hurt they are experiencing until they are removed from the situation – which probably explains why she stayed a second year – maybe she hadn’t fully understood the hurt and the extent of it’s damage. But really, who cares why she stayed a second year, that doesn’t make her story and pain any less valid.
I’m sorry if Im coming off as rude, but your comments to this story seem so ignorant. To be honest, I don’t even know why RA left the on here..
laynesays:July 7, 2010 at 9:32 AM
Whoa, settle down now Josephine. Chemical issues? Authority problems? Sounds like a whole lotta blame-the-victim talk to me which, if you have been paying any attention, is not acceptable here. Back off. This is about healing. And grace and love and chubby hugs.
@Josephine– Even if it was true (which it’s obviously not!) that every single story here was the result of mental illness, you would still have to ask: Why does the Honor Academy produce so many alumni with such serious mental problems? What other healthy ministries turn out so many broken people?
When you studied psychology (and missed the lecture on emotional abuse?), did you ever come across the term “Cognitive Dissonance“? It sounds to me like that’s what you’re experiencing right now. These stories are damaging to the good image of Teen Mania you want to believe, so you’re rationalizing them away by concocting a ridiculous victim-blaming scenario to justify TM to yourself.
The other possibility is that Teen Mania is actually damaging people (as described in the articles I linked!). But you’re not willing to believe that… or are you?
questionsays:July 7, 2010 at 4:24 PM
Eric just out of curiosity, what is a number you are thinking of when you say “What other healthy ministries turn out so many broken people” seriously…I’d like to hear a rounded number of what we’re talking about here, 5, 10, 20, 100, 1000?….I think even 1 is to many but I’d still like to see an estimate, what do you guys think?
question – You didn’t ask me, but I’ll chime in. I’ve had somewhere around 300+ daily readers for the past several months – and I’m going to assume that most of those are recovering. Otherwise, why would they stick around?
I haven’t counted, but a rough guesstimate of whats in my inbox is emails from at least 150-200 individuals spanning every year since 1995. Plus stories of many more who won’t share their story b/c its too hard….Based on the people I personally know, I would say that in the long-term my guess is that anywhere from 40-80% of interns are injured either emotionally, spiritually or physically.
This isn’t sound logic, like, at all…so please take it with a grain of salt. But why is it, do you suppose, that all of your stories come from 1995 and later?
Making a very weak logical assumption, I can only think of one reason.
questionsays:July 8, 2010 at 1:46 PM
agreed with Dan. I also have a hard time believeing that just because you have 300 daily readers that means their all recovering….I had a great experience at the HA and am not in “recovery” from 7 years ago but I choose to stick around as I find the stories and comments interesting and sometimes somewhat humorous (more so the comments :)). You also have several daily readers I’m sure that have nothing to do with TM or that have never been.
Your saying 150 people/year since 1995 that have written you a story or that have confirmed that they are presently in “recovery”?? I find that odd….are you saying you personally know 40-80%? thats quite a wide range by the way 😉
question – sorry for the confusion, let me try to clarify.
1) Re: daily readers – yes, no doubt many of my readers don’t consider themselves recovering and may not have anything to do with TM. My actual daily readership is closer to 350-400, so I tried to lowball it to compensate somewhat for that.
2) I didn’t mean to imply that I personally know 40-80% of alumni. That guesstimate is based on a couple of things:
a) Probably at least 40-50% of my GI class agrees with this site. I haven’t heard from all of them, but I have heard from many of them.
b) For every person that writes me, they generally have several friends who feel the same but have put TM out of their mind completely b/c they don’t want to deal with the pain.
c) There are lots of people who love TM, but came out of the HA legalistic and arrogant. I call them spiritually damaged, even though they don’t call themselves that.
d) There are lots of people who love TM even though they were abused by the ministry. Its called Stockholm Syndrome. And yes, I can illustrate it with a story. Check back next week.
@Question – I wasn’t thinking about numbers. It’s a reductio ad absurdum: The point is that healthy ministries do not generally produce mentally broken people. So even if Josephine’s assumption in this case was true (which I doubt), it would show HA’s abusive nature just as much as what she’s trying to deny.
As for numbers, I agree with you that when counting people who check into a “Christian ministry” and leave with mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual wounds, the level of what’s unacceptable begins at 1.
I think this site wouldn’t be getting any attention at all if people didn’t think there was something to it. I’ve seen “slam sites” (Hasz’s term) about other major ministries I know are generally healthy; they usually have 2 or 3 comments on them total. Something about this site resonates even with people like yourself who had good experiences. Maybe it’s Truth?
Josephinesays:July 10, 2010 at 6:07 PM
@Eric P.
Becoming a victim isn’t a choice. Remaining a victim is a choice.
Josephinesays:July 10, 2010 at 6:13 PM
@Eric P.
My question to RA was:
How do you know that the people you have profiled even had the ability to successfully complete the HA program?
It’s a fair question. I have a brother who wouldn’t have a hope of completing the HA program. He refuses to submit to any rules but his own and would be kicked out within a week. Would he have been abused? Heck no. He just wasn’t the right person for the HA.
I see plenty of issues with authority in these stories – which led to my question.
Whose responsibility is it that the intern has a problem with authority, doesn’t submit to the rules and thus is disciplined and/or subsequently removed from the program?
Given that this site is full of well educated individuals, I find it interesting that my question wasn’t answered.
@question, I’ll be honest, I’m not sure if you agree with me or not. lol 🙂 Based on your comments, I may have been too vague…what I was implying is that RA’s stories start right when Dave Hasz took over. It was, and maybe wrongfully so, a backhanded implication that Dave is indeed the problem. I was purposely vague because it really is a logical flaw to assume that just because Dave took over in 1995, and the stories RA has gathered start in 1995, that Dave is the root of the problem. I just find it an interesting piece of trivia…
@Josephine – I do see where you’re coming from, and certainly that’s a question that’s naturally going to roll through anyone’s mind. “Is it possible that some of these stories are from people who simply have deep-seated problems with authority?”
The problem is, this community isn’t about that question. At all. I hate that we have to “choose a side”, as I feel that we all should just love Jesus and move forward…however, there are sides here, unfortunately. And we choose the side of the broken. We choose the side of the hurt. And we don’t question them here. We don’t speculate as to how much responsibility they bear in their circumstance. You’ll notice, actually, that a large percentage of people who share their stories here say things like “I don’t blame TM…” or “This was partially my fault…”
The reason why we don’t answer questions like “How do you know that the people you have profiled even had the ability to successfully complete the HA program?” is twofold:
1. That question undermines people who are already hurting.
2. Most people here in this community feel that the HA program is fundamentally flawed. So we don’t want anyone to be able to “successfully” complete it.
Anyway, just wanted to provide a bit of an answer there. 🙂 I’m actually thankful when people like you come here to express your opinions in a respectful manner. Too many come here and simply flame the community, and it blows.
Josephine, the problem with that particular question is that is seems to be loaded with assumptions that I don’t share – I’m likely not even operating in the same paradigm that question came from, so its pretty impossible to answer as its stated. Like, what it means to “successfully complete the HA” or what “issues with authority” even means or whether its even a bad thing.
@Josephine: That’s just it– we’re essentially operating from two different worldviews. I believe a healthy Christian ministry should be based on the grace of God alone, and therefore should not “require abilities” for someone to “complete it successfully” or else be regarded as unworthy or a failure. True success is only found in Christ’s loving acceptance, which does not depend on any of our abilities, inherent or developed: “Not by works, lest anyone should boast.”
So I can’t answer your question simply because for me there does not exist a valid paradigm in which an answer could obtain. Compare “Have you stopped beating your wife?” Indeed, the way you frame the question arguably shows the legalistic nature of TM’s philosophy.
Also:
– The issue here is not with “authority” but with authoritarianism.
– If someone becomes (or “remains”) a victim, it proves somebody else victimized them, and that’s the point entirely.
– Speaking of unanswered questions, you never told me your thoughts on the characteristics of emotional abuse.