Caleb’s Story: Part 1

The Beginning

I was hopeful, as I drove in Garden Valley on the first day of my Internship. I’d just finished another summer in India, my senior high school year, and a long drive to Texas so things seemed to be on a good note. For the past 6 summers, I’d been involved with Teen Mania, spreading the gospel in Botswana, Ukraine, Boliva, and India. It had become an every summer, all summer thing for me. With most of my year focused on working toward another summer trip and the ATF conference in the spring, it was only natural that my life should start actually revolving around the TM schedule.

My parents weren’t sure about the internship. While they were established in Christian ministry and international service, they were skeptical of their son avoiding college for a year and working for no pay. We weren’t unfamiliar with Teen Mania. We’d hosted week long vacations for the ministry teams, multiple ATF housing stays, Mom had been a parent volunteer and Dad had contributed to the ministry in other significant ways. The thing that changed their mind about my service within the Internship was the days I’d spend working when ATF came to town, the passion with which I’d invite friends, and the time I spent preparing for my service. When I invited Ron Luce into our basement to see my internship fundraising chart and support plan, it was more out of hope than assurance that I’d actually make it to Texas instead of starting my Freshman year of college.

I wasn’t surprised by the internship. Going in I knew and understood the rules, the expectations, and the purpose of putting so much time and energy into forging a disciplined lifestyle of service to God. Growing up the in the church I was familiar with Christian theology and authoritarian structures, the only thing I had to worry about was my ability to complete the task at hand…and so I embarked on my “Texas Year” as I’ve come to refer to it.

My first weeks in Garden Valley were a dream of community and fellowship. Being a part of something so meaningful and reaching in scope and vision was an intoxicating experience. Life was taking on even greater meaning than before and I was blessed to be a part of it. I’ve now come to understand all of these hopes and passions as the core loss of my experience. It was because the beginning was so fantastic and joyful, that the loss was so traumatic and painful.

What happened? – This is the question that is so difficult to answer. My own responsibility is clearly an element, as I actively chose to attend the Honor Academy. However, in retrospect it is very clear that there were dangerous, corrosive, and sinister spiritual elements surrounding my experience that cannot simply be dismissed as the slight errors of a large organization (mistakes), the influence of a flawed and broken cosmos (effects of the fall), and the isolated experience of a broken person (ie. Well that was your experience…etc.)