I have, since TM, told my story, in part, to Mr. David Hasz, and received a private apology from him. Am I still hurt, and going through things because of how I was treated? Yes. I hope that my story helps someone who has gone through the same things as me. Am I still in need of help myself? Yes, Teen Mania solidified feelings in me that no amount of prayer or ‘professional’ help has been able to remove from me.
History of my Life:
I was born into a broken home. My biological mom was divorced, with 2 kids, and didn’t want a third kid since she was not married to my father (Remember this feeling; I was NOT wanted by her. You WILL see this feeling of not being wanted throughout this story). So she gave me up for adoption through the use of the Catholic Charities. My father (biological) didn’t want me either. He actually tried to “sell” me to the state. Eventually I was adopted by a Christian couple who had adopted one child, my sister, and at the age of 5 adopted my little brother.
Skip to the age of 9 or 10. This was the year I accepted Christ in the basement of our house after reading some, scary to me, tracts my mom had lying around the house. I was immersed in church my whole life, prone to my moms every “spiritual” whim. I would go to Sunday School, and correct the teachers because they didn’t know what they were talking about. I would also have VERY religious debates, and discussions, with pastors, sometimes to the point that the pastor would be shocked by my deep knowledge of the Bible. This knowledge came from my always getting into trouble, and my mom making me write essays all based out of the Bible on whatever was the cause for punishment, even after getting a spanking.
Where Teen Mania comes in to play:
Jump forward to age 12 or 13. This was when my mom discovered Teen Mania, and Acquire the Fire. I remember going, and remember all the hype that went with going to the ATF conventions. I think at each convention, I “got saved” every session. I longed to go on a mission’s trip, and even applied to go on one, but never had the attention span to finish the essays that were required. At the age of 14, my parents shipped me off to a “rehab” called Teen Challenge. I was there for 2 years, and went to ATF’s with them. When I “graduated” the program, which was supposed to be just a year long, I went back home for about 6 months till my parents had me sent to another Teen Challenge, but this time it was full of adults, with the youngest person, other then me, being 20 or 21. Talk about a BAD environment for a teen trying to find an identity. However, they weren’t all that bad. There was a de-frocked pastor who was a recovering druggie, and helped mentor me while there. It was during my stay there that I decided, after being Event Staff at the Baltimore ATF, which my sister, now an intern and almost a jacketed alumnus of GE (Global Expeditions), was the person in charge of running, and setting up, that I wanted to go to the Honor Academy. The guys at Teen Challenge encouraged me to do the essays, and send in the application. They even raised the money for the application fee since I didn’t have a job, and my parent told me that if I was to apply, I would have to raise it myself. Remember, I still had not been on a mission’s trip with GE yet. You are probably wondering how I would be accepted to the Academy. Well, this was the ONLY year that Summer Camp was part of GE and by going and being worker, you could become an intern. So I agreed to go and be worker.
I arrived on campus in July of 2000, right after turning 18, after a miracle acceptance into both the Summer Camp program and the Honor Academy, my recruiting intern decided to call me on the LAST day of calls for the August 2000 class, and after not getting me called my sister, who called my parents, who called me to make sure I was at the Teen Challenge house. We were informed that we were to act as interns since we were ALL going to be interns at the end of Summer Camps. We did all the activities the kids would do, and at the end of the week, we got our assignments. I was shocked to see that I was to be a counselor. How could this messed up, adopted, unwanted (remember this feeling from before?) kid guide and direct other kids in the ways of God? I did my best, and after the Summer Camps were over, I stayed on campus to help grounds crew get ready for the new interns, MY class! I was proud to be helping out. I wanted to serve. I had a church, and a ministry backing me.
Intern Time:
So my volunteer time came to an end, and my internship began. I was on fire to be an intern, and plunged whole-heartedly into Gauntlet Week. Of course, being that I had just finished weight training as a junior pro-am, you would have thought that I would be in shape for all the running, jumping, push-ups, obstacle courses, and other “fun” activities that were thrust upon me, all the while taking cold showers, the girls got all the hot water at the Quonset huts bathroom, sleeping on a piece of wood with no mattress (Those that have been in those huts might be smiling by now, or grimacing depending on the experience they had), and listening to “Mr. Sunshine” scream, “What are you going to take?” with us yelling back, “The Peak”. Not to mention we were to take a battery of tests, including a personality profile and job placement test. The next week we were told our jobs, and I got put on the Security Team. Unknown to me at the time, the intern that was the head of security for my sister’s year, requested at my sister’s persuasion, that I be on the Team for my internship. I WAS THRILLED. I am, and always will be a security conscience person, especially since I wanted to be an 11-Bravo Scout/Sniper with the Army (declared physically unfit) prior to go into the Honor Academy.
Let the Fun Begin:
So we go through our training, get CPR certified, first responder training, radio etiquette training, and more. We found out that we would be working rotating shifts, but the guys had a third shift that they had to cover as well. So while all the regular administrative interns slept, security interns (male only) were, and probably still are, awake guarding the campus, armed only with a radio and telephone. With the knowledge of working overnights, I went and got a huge, long, heavy Maglite to carry with me.
So I’m hanging with my core, and my sister core, doing my quiet time (which had not really been my cup of tea per-TM, and difficult to do during TM), my worship time (more my thing being that I am a musician), trying to find time to exercise, hang out with friends, meet new people, and still focus on my job and going to class. Eventually I stopped quiet times since the guard shack is ALWAYS quiet between the hours of 12 and 5 am. I started to consume, and love, coffee (hence how I got the nickname from a fellow intern of ‘Cold Coffee’). I would carry a backpack with me, and take the grounds to place in my lip like dip so I could stay awake. When I drank it, it was from a 64 ounce mug, which was refilled upwards of 12 times a day. I ate at the cafeteria, between rounds, or as time allowed. Sometimes, I’d get a call out, and have to throw all the food, recently gotten from K-Crew, in the trash untouched, and have to miss that meal.
I’ll never forget the day that my best friend, and security teammate (literally, we were on every shift together) was dismissed, and I was left alone to find my way without him. Of course, I’d made other friends as well, but no one was as close to him. I remember standing at his Chevy Silverado as he threw his last bag in the bed, cinched down the straps, giving him a hug, telling him that I loved him as a brother, and promising him that I would protect a girl from his hometown, who was also an intern. It was that promise that later came back to bite me in the butt.
Months had gone by since he had been dismissed, and the girl from his hometown started missing him as more then a friend. She was an Admin Assistant for someone in Admin, so we went to the Admin building so she could call him and tell him she loved him. In an attempt to protect me from having to “tell” on her for her breaking the rules, I sat in the same wing of the building as her, but in a different part of the wing so I couldn’t hear her conversation. She and I were emailing back and forth to communicate what was going on. It was during one of these emails that I asked her what exactly she was feeling and going through. After her response, she asked me the same thing. I told her a mix of emotions. The deadly blow was that when specifying emotions, at her request, I included love, but didn’t specify that it was a brother/sister love. Immediately after hitting send, I realized what I wrote, and asked her to delete it since I didn’t want her to take it the wrong way, and she told me she did. Of course the deletion was too late, she already had taken it that I had a romantic interest in her, and went to tell her DI. The next morning, my DI called me into his office, and informed me that the incident had made it to his desk. I was then informed that I was not allowed to talk to her, communicate with her, or have any contact with her, and I was on probation.
So all that has happened I’m getting calls from the ex-intern threatening me for telling her that, working tons of hours, missing class regularly, not sleeping, jazzed of caffeine, and prepping for my first trip outside the TM Bubble. It was Christmas time, and time to have a break from TM. So I fly back to Baltimore where I was greeted as a hero. I had made it halfway through the HA. The entire time, my brain is on how MY campus was doing, who was protecting it, etc (We had had to call the sheriff at least twice to this point.) I was glad to be home though. I had successfully climbed Pikes Peak, went on my “adventure” trip to Mexico, had been woke countless nights from dead sleep to find a fellow guard over top of me saying they needed me to wake up to help the shift out, and a bunch more. I was also belittled by my family because I didn’t attend classes due to my work schedule, and special projects, I was working on (I averaged about 100 or more work hours a week). I was also trying to be careful because I knew Teen Mania had the ears of EVERY alumnus, which included my sister, and everything I did would be reported. Remember that friend who was dismissed? I was told by an Honor Council Member he was being dismissed PRIOR to him being dismissed. At the same time, my cousin is sick, and gives it to me with less then 12 hours before I’m to be on a flight back to Teen Mania. It was also the year that just about EVERY intern was stranded at the airport because the country got hit with a massive snow storm.
So I get back to campus, and on my arrival, the CEP (Continuing Education Program) intern that was on duty told me to get back to the guard booth ASAP as I was supposed to be there earlier in the day. So I throw my bags into an empty room, as I’m the ONLY one from my core that had returned, and the same held true for being the only security guard to be back on campus. So I go back to the booth, and after 8 hours, didn’t have a single other team member come through the booth to relieve me so I could rest. 12 hours comes and goes. Then 24 hours, then 48, then 96 hours STRAIGHT, of being in an 8’ by 8’ booth, only leaving long enough to go to the nearest dorm to use the restroom, and get back to the booth. K-Crew brought me my meals and coffee. Finally someone from the Team came back, and they went straight to bed, leaving me there for another 8 hour shift. Within that last 8 hours, most of the Team returned, so I was FINALLY relieved of duty for 2 days only.
Things progressed from there. I can remember pulling fire drills, being in the back forty making sure no one was back there when they weren’t allowed, etc. Of course I have fond memories of Teen Mania as well. Climbing Pike’s Peak, going to Mexico, going to Arizona for ATF (with over half the security team to be security), going to Tampa where I got to be a bodyguard for the special musical guests like Rebecca St James, Jennifer Knapp, Newsboys, and more.
(Part 2 Tomorrow)
17 comments:
squeakycheez07 said…
You worked for 96 hours straight?! How is that even ok with the leaders at TM?!
May 5, 2010 7:07 AM
Anonymous said…
Just because something happens at TM doesn’t mean that it’s approved or ok with the leaders. Kind of the mentality that what they don’t know won’t hurt them. As well as plausible deniability.
May 5, 2010 8:34 AM
Shannon Kish said…
Anon, I would agree. However, just because they don’t know doesn’t make them any less responsible. Ignorance is not an excuse.
May 5, 2010 9:33 AM
CarrieSaum said…
derek,
once again, i am horrified by your treatment. i’m so sorry you were so misused this way. 96 hrs…that is FOUR DAYS. in a tiny guardbooth. without sleep. without an adjoining restroom. without any real HUMAN CONTACT. while you were sick.
and i’m sure the kicker is, you were supposed to just do this without complaint because there was nobody else to relieve you? (nevermind that there were ppl on campus who could have been pulled for a few hours so you could sleep and shower…nevermind that DH lives across the street, in full view of the campus, and probably saw you everyday….for four days)
please tell me you did NOT do ESOAL? because i’m pretty sure this was your own private one.
May 5, 2010 12:08 PM
‘Derek’ said…
CarrieSaum, I did not do ESOAL, though I was in the guard booth for BOTH retreats, but you’ll find out about that in part 2.
May 5, 2010 12:18 PM
kimlynn1225 said…
Derek,
All I can say is WOW! That’s crazy! I think I was an intern when you were there. That is so illegal! TM should be ashamed of themselves. I’m glad to see that you made it out alive. It is never good to burn the candle from both ends (which is what they did to you)!
May 5, 2010 8:58 PM
Carol said…
Derek – you have MUCH more strength than I. I would have called Dave immediately (or knocked on his door) and let him know what was going on. I would have also probably walked away from the booth after my shift, letting someone know of course, but went and got some sleep. It’s insane that they would do that to you.
May 5, 2010 9:50 PM
Mike Doughney said…
Derek’s story of four days without sleep to do a job leads me to ask: what is the real deal with campus security and the gate? Is the gate there to keep out former Last Days hangers-on who want to come back and re-dig some wells 🙂 or is it there to deal with some more substantial security issue?
If there is such an issue – with a campus that size in the relative middle of nowhere, with no obvious moat around it – then you’d think they’d hire professional security to maintain campus safety. Particularly if having to call in the sheriff is a not-so-unusual event.
Otherwise, it’s all just security theater, or worse, management that can’t resist using free labor for everything.
May 5, 2010 10:00 PM
Nunquam Honorablus said…
Mike- due to legal mumbo jumbo of what is required by a “security” facility, TM no longer calls it “campus security”. Now they call it “campus safety”, and pretty much anybody can get in. If the gate’s not already open, all you have to do is stop and make eye contact with the gate person.
I was always paranoid that some Al Qaeda people would come and blow the place up or something… at least it’s located in the middle of nowhere, right? 🙂
May 5, 2010 10:15 PM
Shannon Kish said…
NH, I don’t remember an actual gate or the arms or anything, just a booth. But, my memory could be lacking.
May 5, 2010 10:19 PM
mom of ex-intern said…
@ Nunquam–“mom” here–I agree with you, when dropping off or visiting my son on campus, the thought of how safe it was there actually crossed my mine more than once…we were never stopped or even questioned as to who we were visiting on campus–we could have been axe-murderers… :0 (instead of just being wicked sinners)…
“Derek”–about your comment of you being adopted and not wanted by either of your biological parents: that is sad, but I can only imagine what a blessing and answer to prayers that you were for the christian couple that adopted you! Remember that you are a son of the King and Most High God and are fearfully and wonderfully made–God knew ahead of time the parents that would raise you when you were knit together in your birthmother’s womb! 🙂
May 5, 2010 10:28 PM
‘Derek’ said…
@NH, “mom” and ShannonKish, when we (Shannon and I) were interns, you HAD to show an ID badge to get onto campus. Withouth the badge, you couldn’t get in. At one point we were looking into using arm/gates/other devices to slow-down people, but those were deemed to be intrusive, and make it feel like a “military” style compound instead of a place to learn and grow. However, we did have speed bumps put into place so that people would stop/slow down.
@Mike – for only having to have the sheriff called 2 times, to me, is a good thing. One of those times we had someone suspicious on campus, and the other time, the sheriff stopped by to ask us if we’d seen a suspicious person on the road because there had been a break in down the street. While I was there, I felt that those that stuck with being on security became better people for it. Even now, I’m security minded. I walk into a new store, and immediately check the layout for emergency exits, and fire extinguishers, as well as I’ve gone on to teach personal self-defense to women. Now I take my security to a whole new level since I’m a computer geek. The network I have built at home has not, to this point, been breached except one time when I had left a port open, but even then the breach was done by a friend of mine, and was not malicious.
May 6, 2010 6:43 AM
Shannon Kish said…
Derek,
I don’t remember having to show any sort of ID to get on or off campus. I remember I was asked to stop and inform the booth where we were going, when we would be back, and who was in the car. But, I don’t remember ideas.
May 6, 2010 10:47 AM
‘Derek’ said…
Shannon, we had to have your ID so we could right down who all was in the car. Of course this was a pain come Sunday since no one would come back in the same car they left in. We even looked into having the IDs redesigned to have barcodes on them, and a database with all the names of interns, and GI’s in it so we could just scan them on the way out, and on the way back in.
May 6, 2010 10:56 AM
AnonJane said…
Shannon,
They put up a mechanical gate just a few years ago. It doesn’t seem to do much good though. I was an intern a couple of years ago and we didn’t have IDs, although I did hear about having them from interns past. We just had to give a list of names of interns in our cars as we left campus and we were supposed to get “checked back in” by telling all of our names again when we returned. It didn’t seem like a very efficient system especially, as Derek pointed out, if you returned in a different vehicle. I think having IDs with barcodes is a great idea.
May 6, 2010 12:47 PM
‘Derek’ said…
Now you can all see why I wanted to be the head of security for TMM/HA (see part 2). I dreamed of traveling to various HA locations, (yes, they had more then one which is scary now that they have HAO and possibly HA Mexico), as well as the head of security for ATF’s, and certain security members went on GE trips with the interns. What’s the point of dreaming if you don’t dream big??? Even though I’m a computer tech, I am still very security minded, and try to incorporate technology into security measures.
May 6, 2010 12:54 PM
Cora Lynn said…
I definitely would have helped watch the booth! It is ridiculous that someone did not check on you or have the booth’s scheduled out! Ridiculous!
Having lived in the Mansion on the Hill, we would use the back entrance all the time. It was only locked at night…sometimes.
And when I was an intern and didn’t want to run, I would go through the trees and sit out on the street. There was not a fence around the entire property.
May 6, 2010 6:55 PM