It’s summer so that means I am finally back and making some updates. I am hoping to get more consistent with updating throughout the year, but I’m pretty sure I’ve said this 3 times already…
What has happened since last summer? Well, for starters…
- Almost foreclosed on
- Trying to deal with a new ADHD diagnosis
- Struggling to get insurance to help pay for ADHD medication
- Crashing out weekly, sometimes daily, dealing with the stress of students
- Forgot to renew the blog so we’ve been down for a few months. Whoopsie!
- Started therapy again
- Trying to learn how to play the jaw harp?
Not to mention the past 6 months just being absolutely horrendous politically and economically speaking, but I won’t get into politics on this post.
It has been a challenging year for most, if not all, of us for whatever reason. Last month, I got as close to committing suicide as I have been in years. I felt my life crumbling and nothing made sense anymore. My wife and I had a big fight, the world seems to be getting crazier, I’m not feeling super confident being a teacher, and half a dozen other problems all at once. I came to the realization that I didn’t know who I was anymore and started questioning everything about who I am and what I have been doing for the last 15 years (since my last identity crisis). Some would probably call this a midlife crisis. Sadly, I’m too broke for a fancy red sports car.
Instead, I’m reviewing my life story and trying to see how I got here. My new therapist is really neat. I’ve been in and out of therapy for nearly 20 years now. I typically gravitate towards cognitive behavioral therapy or similar but this new lady is more in line with Jung. I’ve always had some odd feelings about psychoanalysis (originally Freud’s school of psychology). It never really felt rooted in reality and I’ve been a pretty hardcore materialist since turning atheist.
On one hand, nothing in the supernatural feels real or legitimate to me and aspects of Freud and Jung feel supernatural to me. In fact, I do believe that quite a few pagans subscribe to Jung’s theory to help explain their paganism. To a staunch atheist rooted almost solely in chemistry and physics, this school just doesn’t sit right. On the other hand, I am also a pagan, somehow, and I think Jung has some interesting explanations. I think I can appreciate the work as allegory and parable. It gets me out of my comfort zone and, more importantly, when everything comes crashing down it may not be a bad idea to tackle a problem from a drastically different approach.
So, long story short, that’s essentially where I have been for the past 6 months. I am excited to have the blog up and running again. With the advent of this new therapist, who wants to hear more about my cult experience and how it continues to affect me today, I am hoping that I find more opportunities to update the blog with my recovery. I’ll at least put in a monthly to-do item in my app to check the email and comments.
In terms of the blog, a reader noticed that it was down for a bit and suggested that we maybe crowdfund this site. I have been paying for it out of my own pocket for the last 4 or 5 years. I mainly have this blog to keep a chronicle of the cult’s activities and doctrines for my own therapy, but I hope plenty of people also benefit from this blog. Now that things are getting more expensive, it is kind of hard to keep things running.
So, introducing our ko-fi link for donations! Each page should have a spot on the right-hand side to give people a chance to donate if they feel so inclined. I have no expectation for donations although 53% of this year’s hosting has already been reimbursed within hours of setting it up! This blog will be here as much as I can manage it regardless if people donate or not.
I’ve never had the urge for calls to action such as liking, commenting, or subscribing. So no need to be worried that I’ll also try to get you to join my Patreon or Discord (I have neither) nor to buy me a ko-fi.
