The journey back from spiritual abuse inevitably involves doubt. We doubt ourselves, the church, and even God. Maybe, especially God.
Its hard to know which way is up when everything you believed in and poured out your life for is called into question. If you were spiritually abused at Teen Mania, what does that mean about God? Who is He? Did He really ever speak to you? How can you trust yourself or Him to keep you from experiencing abuse again in the future? The questions are daunting.
Fortunately, God is not afraid of our doubt. He welcomes our honest questions and feelings, even if other Christians don’t. I love this recent article by a pastor who talks about his doubts. A quick snippet:
The Psalms suggest that dishonesty may be the only thing that isn’t prayer. If we are filled with doubt, the Bible suggests we doubt out loud. Doubt to God. Don’t hold back. Don’t try to slash a smiley face across it. Let it loose. Doubt louder. Doubt better.
Because doubt is uncomfortable to us (and unwelcome by others), giving voice to doubt can be a courageous, honest act — a faithful act. Doubt can be an expression of faith.
We often view faith as fragile. So we think we need to tiptoe, to tone down our questions. What if our faith can’t stand up to all these uncertainties? If our faith can be slapped around, perhaps it needs to be. Doubt happens when our assumptions or expectations are upended; and truth is that some of our assumptions and expectations (and beliefs) need to be upended. My boys believe I’m stronger than the Hulk. Soon enough, that belief will shatter.
I’ve come to believe that true faith is sturdy. It can handle its own battles. Faith doesn’t need me to defend it; faith only needs me to be honest.
If you are uncomfortable with your doubts (and aren’t we all?), read the whole thing.
4 comments:
so true dude…or dudette…
so true…
i like what you’re posting…well, i like the fact that you’re posting stuff…
as i said earlier, i might disagree but it’s good, in a lot of cases, to get things out in the open…
“doubt louder. doubt BETTER”….that’s awesome…
-omar
September 3, 2010 8:36 AM
Shiloh said…
Omar from 2008?
September 3, 2010 10:10 AM
masochRist said…
07-08 yes…
who you be Shiloh?
September 3, 2010 10:25 AM
Shiloh said…
What’s your email, ‘bro.’ ?
September 4, 2010 1:47 PM