Response to a Comment

I’d like to talk about one of the comments this blog received this week:

And at the same time I did have plenty of experiences where people served me at TM and I was able to serve them. I remember one specific instance actual “foot washing” went on and in fact, I just posted a picture of my brother on a GE trip washing someone’s feet.

It’s all about what you choose to focus on.

This is a fairly typical TM response. The dangerous line is this “It’s all about what you choose to focus on.” Can you imagine saying this to any other abuse victim?

To the wife who is beaten by her husband, or the child that is molested by his uncle – should they just focus on the good things in that relationship and forget the bad? Does the 1 or 2 good things outweigh the damage caused by the abuse?

Here are the subtle messages this dangerous line of thinking is sending:

1) Blame the Victim – if you are upset about something, it’s your fault. You are just focusing on the wrong thing.

2) You are not allowed to feel your feelings. Your feelings are wrong.

3) It is wrong to express your feelings or the truth about your total experience.

These are some of the lies that kept me in emotional and spiritual turmoil for so many years.

No matter what “good” they do, there is nothing that gives the leadership at the Honor Academy the right to abuse any intern, whether emotionally, spiritually or mentally. NOTHING makes abuse okay.

For too long, we have been told that we are the ones at fault. That instead of being a victim of abuse, we are just backslidden, rebellious or bitter. We have been silenced by their lies. But the truth is coming out now.

To borrow a line from Ron Luce, “We will not be silent, our voices will be heard.”

2 comments:

I totally agree with the post above by Recovering Alumni. I am the sister of an Alumni and the effects of TM have not just touched my sister, but have also greatly impacted me. I would even say that I was angry at God becuase of the broken person my sister became after coming out of TM. She had the weirdest beliefs about life… I could barely have a conversation with her because she always had to wait for the holy spirit to tell her what to say. thankfully, she has recovered now, but in all honesty, i am still angry. TM took my sister away from me for years. I lost this time with her. She was told that she had to give up her family to follow God at TM. And, when she told them she wanted to leave, they told her she wasn’t trusting God. This is an abusive place. Please beware.

I still struggle with blaming myself anytime something feels wrong. It has taken professional help and a lot of patience and love from those around me to help me learn to feel my emotions without shame.

3 thoughts on “Response to a Comment”

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