A common practice in cults and other abusive groups is a routine coerced public confession of specific sins. This is one attribute I have never seen or heard about at the Honor Academy. (Yay, they almost pass this chapter!)The author calls this vocal self-degradation. While these “hot seat” events aren’t held at the HA (to my knowledge), I did notice a few other similarities. Excerpts from the Heresy of Mind Control:
#4 Vocal Self-Degradation
No Privacy
Whatever you reveal to the group is usually not held confidential. If the group is large and composed of smaller groups where these confessions are held, the leader of the small group will often take what you reveal and pass it on to other leaders…The common ethic and courtesy of keeping a matter confidential does not exist in most cults.
Demon Labels
In some cults (or abusive groups), when you talk about your problems, struggles and weaknesses, they label them as “demons” or “spirits.” Some false teachers try to scare a Christian into believing that he or she is demon possessed simply because he has a problem or weakness. Or some will assert that the individual has a demon simply because he does not measure up to the standards that the teacher has set; for example, “a spirit of rebellion,” “a spirit of laziness,” a “demon of doubt” a “demon of depression,” etc. Then they pray with you to cast it out, or speak directly to the “demon” to cast it out. If you don’t feel different, or if the symptom remains, you are likely to become very concerned and even fearful, and therefore feel worse. The fact is, the problem may not even be a true problem, but only something they consider to be a problem…Therefore, if you are a Christian, and have any fear or anxiety from such teaching that you might be demon possessed, that fear or anxiety comes not from a demon within, but merely from the psychological impact of being labeled. By the labels of “demons” and “spirits,” false teachers are simply inventing an artificial problem, like the inventing of artificial sins that we examined previously.
Misplaced Accountability
Someone may come up to you and ask, “How did you spend your time with God this morning?” (Another way of being a meddler – I Pet 4:15) If you have agreed beforehand with a friend to talk about these times and to teach and encourage each other, this is fine. But in a cult or any spiritually abusive atmosphere, your answer to this question becomes a basis for judging your character and therefore something to confess if you missed out on that time or used it poorly in their view. These kinds of interrogations become routine, or simply the expectation to confess something becomes routines. If you say that you are doing fine and therefore have nothing to confess, this can cause them to accuse you of being “proud.” So you feel guilty for not finding anything to confess and therefore search for any taint within so that you will have something to show for. As a result, you are constantly incriminating yourself.
In some groups, the members even spy on each other, believing that this is necessary to keep each other “accountable.” You can hardly do anything or carry on a conversation with someone without fear that someone is listening, watching or judging.
Restoring Self-Esteem
Having a sense of self-worth is healthy and normal. It is also normal to have a reasonable amount of humility – not the same as a low or degraded self-image. But in an environment of routine introspection, exposure and self-degradation, it is virtually impossible to attain a reasonable balance between the two sides of self-worth and humility. Instead there are two extremes: In the role of judge, self-worth becomes arrogance. In the role of penitent, humbleness becomes humiliation.
36 comments:
Renaesays:November 18, 2010 at 8:48 AMReply
This is so the Honor Academy. As I’ve said on other posts, when I went to Jose, the campus counselor, about my depression, he told me I was still being influenced by demons from my wiccan experimenting days and referred me to a group outside campus that specialized in “spiritual cleansing.” Luckily, I never followed through on that.
Nunquam Honorablussays:November 18, 2010 at 8:59 AMReply
Wait, hotseats aren’t exclusive to Teen Mania?
Cause that was definitely a common thing, my year.
They’d have the person sit in a chair and have everyone (the rest of the core, and maybe some adopted staff members) sit around and say something nice about them and then question or challenge them.
I totally thought that was something Teen Mania came up with on their own. Woah.
More on topic, I’d say misplaced accountability is a pretty prominent theme at the HA. And, while intentions might be pure (someone might seriously think that “so hi I’m Bob WHAT DID YOU LEARN IN THE FASTING RETREAT” is a good conversation starter), that sort of behavior more often than not ends in an atmosphere of constant judgment.
Sucks bro.
Recovering Alumnisays:November 18, 2010 at 9:02 AMReply
Yeah, hot seats are a major component of cults. I had no idea they were doing that at the HA now.
Natalie Haskellsays:November 18, 2010 at 9:12 AMReply
This is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO the Honor Academy.
No, H.A. get’s an EPIC FAIL on this chapter.
The only thing that makes it hard to really say this is the H.A. is because we all did it!!! It wasn’t JUST Dave, it was us. My friends. This is how we treated each other. And I guess I don’t want to say I was confronted by my core adviser all the time or thought people had demons because my leadership would tell me they did, because that means I’m just as prone to that behaivor.
Crap.
Natalie Haskellsays:November 18, 2010 at 9:22 AMReply
Oh and also –
It’s hard to say it as well because it isn’t quite on ‘cult’ level. More on ‘abusive environment’ level.
They don’t take all our information and tell upper leadership -I don’t think at least. I’m pretty sure it’s not required and people don’t get more kudos for giving information on someone else.
It’s pretty tough for me to figure out what to call the H.A. because it is just a ‘program.’ Most people only stay for a year and then have no more requirement with T.M. some stay for two years and then leave. Only a few stay for three years and VERY few stay longer.
So while they’re pretty good at manipulation I wouldn’t say they are a cult… or even an abusive church. They are just really effed up.
Heathersays:November 18, 2010 at 9:23 AMReply
I was there in ’05 and I remember the hot seat. In fact when the January Interns left, we had to sit in the hot seat to be encouraged and challenge on what we still needed to work on as we left. This was done with our core.
Also my roommates started to get annoyed with each other one month so we all agreed on a hot seat event to tell each other why we were annoyed and get it all out in the open.
If I had only known then what I know now. 🙂
Ericsays:November 18, 2010 at 9:25 AMReply
@Numquam– Yes. Go to any cult research site and search for “hot seat.” It’s well-documented and I found citations going back well before the 1970s just at ICSA. It’s a well-known cultic tool for shame manipulation and inducing “dissociative states.”
So over the years HA has become more cult-like. Unreal.
@Natalie– The term “high control group” fits pretty well. Frankly I’m pretty much just dropping diplomacy and going with “cult” these days.
thinks a lotsays:November 18, 2010 at 9:37 AMReply
“You can hardly do anything or carry on a conversation with someone without fear that someone is listening, watching or judging.”
— Trust and Self esteem are words of the past for me with a smidge of hope that they are returnable.
RA, this week’s posts have been “right on!”
Thanks.
*Smiles* Anon 12
“thinks a lot” is my new name for the blog. Not very original but it’s better than being another Anon.
thinks a lotsays:November 18, 2010 at 9:40 AMReply
My CA must have been rare because our hotseats didn’t last very long. I don’t think she liked them very much.
Recovering Alumnisays:November 18, 2010 at 9:42 AMReply
Were they actually called hotseats? Can you guys describe exactly what happened? How did it make you feel? Was it mostly confrontational?
Nataliesays:November 18, 2010 at 9:51 AMReply
Is the ‘hot seat’ and actual term?!?!?!?!
Nunquam Honorablussays:November 18, 2010 at 10:09 AMReply
RA- yep, they’re called hot seats. I had never heard of them pre-HA, so I thought that the name, the actions, everything, was TM-bred.
Kind of surprising that they’d call it that, when its connotation is so… um, yeah.
It was kind of this thing that you didn’t necessarily look forward to, but they didn’t portray it as BAD. They definitely had everyone quiet down and be serious about it.
I dunno, I always found it superficial and invasive. Cause you feel compelled to say something nice to this person that you may or may not know very well, but THEN the confrontational part comes and everyone asks them a challenging question, like “what are you STRUGGLING WITH RIGHT NOW” or “in what area of your life do you want to GROW MORE”, that sorta thing.
There were only like four people in my hotseat and I don’t really remember it that well. I just remember crying because I didn’t tangibly feel the love of God, and one girl was like “pfff I physically feel it all the time”. She was trying to be encouraging, but it was kind of counter-productive :/
thinks a lotsays:November 18, 2010 at 10:31 AMReply
I always felt like I had to make up something so I could get out of the Hotseat. I think this is how I rewounded myself with past hurts that were already healed. I would try so hard to figure out why I was feeling so many emotions at once so I would pull up something from the past thinking that must be the problem still.
Little did I know back then…
Phil Boltzsays:November 18, 2010 at 10:33 AMReply
Wait, I think we’re getting mixed up here.
The TM ‘hotseat’ was an encouragement processing tradition that came out of the summer mission trips. The point of the practice was to encourage each member of the team by taking note of something they’d done during the trip or a positive impact observed. I don’t think this has anything to do with the practice of group confrontation and manipulated confession , also known as the ‘hotseat’, from clearly cultic groups.
I thnk that its possible for a zealous leader to have added a challenge/confrontation element to it at some point, but would be very disconnected to the hotseats I’ve experienced.
If you want to make the case for the TM positive ‘hotseat’ being a form of love-bombing, you may have a case, but I’ve seen only positive connections with it.
Now, group confessions on the other hand do occur, but they aren’t associated with the processing traditions such as the ‘hotseat’, kodac moment, and group journaling.
Nataliesays:November 18, 2010 at 10:41 AMReply
No Phil. Hot Seats were really really REALLY dumb.
Everyone had to do it. And you got confronted for really stupid stuff. Asked questions that were totally irrelevant and you did feel like you had to make stuff up so you didn’t feel the guilt of being prideful.
I could so see it coming out of something good, but then just being turned into something stupid.
Cause hot seat was so stupid.
Nataliesays:November 18, 2010 at 10:42 AMReply
I’m really curious about this. what the heck is a ‘hot seat.’ where did this whole thing start from??????
what.the.heck.
Recovering Alumnisays:November 18, 2010 at 10:55 AMReply
Phil – I think the hotseats have changed since your day. 🙁
heartsfiresays:November 18, 2010 at 11:05 AMReply
Phil I think what happend is that somewhere between the late 90s and mid 00s the idea of the hotseat got adopted to the HA then changed from the positive experience thing it had been into this point of “hey you are doing these things wrong so correct them so you can be further awesome in TM eyes”. From the hey lets add confrontation to positive experiences part of the Hotseat to then making the positive part of the experience less is a small jump. I remember the 90s missions version as well and it was interesting. I can totally see where the evolution that seems to have taken place may have come from.
Recovering Alumnisays:November 18, 2010 at 11:07 AMReply
I went back to the book to find a quote that summarizes this hotseat issue…but man, there is so much that I think applies. Here are just a few snippets:
“Pressuring people to confess is a form of meddling, prying into other’s business and taking unde liberty to oversee their lives. It is also a form of being a busybody. The Bible speaks against this very thing in these very terms. I Peter 4:15….
Suppose the director or group member says to you, “What sin has God shown you to repent of today?” If you say, “I prefer not to get involved in this matter” or “I don’t really want to get into that,” your response invites accusations like, “You’re rebellious” or “You’re hiding something.”
On the other hand, suppose you don’t have anything to confess when you are asked. This invites accusations like, “You’re arrogant.” Under this sort of duress, along with Bible manipulation, the peer pressure of everyone else participating and the desire to please, there is a strong incentive to come up with something – anything – to confess…..
Recovering Alumnisays:November 18, 2010 at 11:09 AMReply
Also, I think its important to notice that nowhere in Scripture does it say we should be compelled to confess our sins in front of a group of people. We should confess and apologize personally to anyone we have wronged, but this is very different than airing dirty laundry in front of a group…especially when the end result is not a loving restoration of relationship, but further judgment and condemnation.
Recovering Alumnisays:November 18, 2010 at 11:16 AMReply
And another thing! (said in my grumpy old men voice)
What really bothers me about this is that its yet another example of TM taking away your right to your personal boundaries. Through their screwed up theology of corporate exercise and ESOAL, they take away your right to listen to your body and respond appropriately. With this hotseat method, they take away your ability to listen to your heart and soul and respond appropriately.
Quit it, TM!
Nataliesays:November 18, 2010 at 11:30 AMReply
Wow. I’ve been thinking about this all day!
This is what they do in LTE’s too. and roads. (Roads are super extra dumb…)
They’ll come up and ask you,”Did you pray today?”
There is no way to answer, you couldn’t even answer yes to that question. If you said yes, you should have prayed more, if you said no you needed to pray.
Gosh it was so dumb!!!!
Do you know the 10 commandments?
yes – pride. No – you don’t love God.
For real.
And it was always like that.
GAHHHH.
Freaking T.M.
Did you fill out your accountability card this week? Did you lie? Have you done anything during your time at T.M. that you regret? Do you have any unrepentant sin? Have you memorized your scripture? Did you follow the bible reading plan? Did you have your quiet time every day this year? What have you done extra for God today? DO YOU HAVE YOUR STUDENT HAND BOOK ON YOU?! YOU DONT?!?!?
STAND!
SIT!
Do you have your bible on you? Do you have your 5 year plan? What are you going to do when you go home? Whose going to keep you accountable?
Any more recent interns relate to this or what?!
Teen Mania – Shut down. You’re so messed up.
laynesays:November 18, 2010 at 11:43 AMReply
Hot Seat time! Yay! I remember it from missions (and kodak moments) and it was such a great experience. I remember it from the HA, and it was NOT a good experience. Two completely different objectives. Sorry Phil, times they have a’changed.
“Whatever you reveal to the group is usually not held confidential. If the group is large and composed of smaller groups where these confessions are held, the leader of the small group will often take what you reveal and pass it on to other leaders…The common ethic and courtesy of keeping a matter confidential does not exist in most cults.”
I would further extend this practice at HA to information given one-on-one beoming less-than-confidential. I filled out a very personal survey when I first arrived at HA (given to us by our female advisor) that asked revealing, private questions about our lives and sins (things like “have you every felt attraction to someone of the same sex”, “do you masterbate”, “Have you ever been sexually active”, “Have you ever been sexually abused”). We were told to be completely hones and that the survey would only be read by our advisor. And maybe it was. She may not have let our CA’s or ACA’s read everything, but she certainly gave them the information about us (especially “red flags”).
I did not like my advisor at all, so this is a biased comment. She lied to us (smudged the truth).
Nothing is private at the HA.
RA, this post was right-on.
Phil Boltzsays:November 18, 2010 at 12:03 PMReply
CRAAAPPP!~!!!! I stand corrected…and I feel so old.
littlegraygirlsays:November 18, 2010 at 4:13 PMReply
Like Phil, I’ve only had positive experiences with the “hotseat” at TM. Every time I was ever involved, we only had to say something positive/affirming to the individual in the hotseat. People took it seriously and were really thoughtful with what they had to say.
However, I can totally see the possibility that a CA or a supervisor would take this idea and add the negative stuff to it. 🙁
gracemakesfreesays:November 18, 2010 at 11:01 PMReply
I can still remember some of the things that were said when I was in the hot seat my year as a CA.
Looking back, it’s all so strange …
Heathersays:November 18, 2010 at 11:19 PMReply
The hotseat I went through happened whenever part of the core was getting ready to leave (Dec and Aug). Those leaving would sit in the hotseat while the rest of the core would go around and compliment the person on what they liked about them. Then they would point out areas they still thought they needed to grow in even after they left the HA.
That was in ’05. I hope that helps explain it RA.
Renaesays:November 19, 2010 at 7:20 AMReply
My hotseat experience at the HA was a positive one, but I think that’s because I liked and trusted both of my CA’s and cores (I was a January). When someone talked about something I needed to work on, it felt constructive instead of tearing down. But I definitely know people can get really legalistic with the hotseats. I knew girls from other cores who didn’t get along or mesh well or spend a lot of time together, and they felt very hurt by what people said in the hotseats because they felt like their core didn’t know them at all, and certainly didn’t know enough to speak into their lives.
Robbiesays:November 19, 2010 at 8:18 AMReply
What exactly does “speaking into someone’s life” mean? It’s a phrase I’ve seen thrown around a lot that doesn’t seem to be very clearly defined….and it often involves people getting hurt from what I can tell.
I didn’t attend the HA so I’m just curious about this. Please, “speak into my life” and let me know! 😉
Anonymoussays:November 19, 2010 at 11:03 AMReply
A lot of this accountability, hot seat, speaking into your life stuff was also a major part of the Shepherding movement that swept through many churches and ministries in the 70’s-90’s.
Carl Litchfieldsays:November 19, 2010 at 5:39 PMReply
Robbie
Speaking into someone’s life is basically “Christian-ese” for offering advice or criticism on an intimate level, such as behavior, habits, or overall character or lifestyle. It is usually used in reference to the choices you make about who you allow to makes such criticisms or offer that kind of advice, as well as how seriously you take it. At the HA, it is expected that so long as you wear your Honor Ring, anyone from Teen Mania, past, present or future, has the right to “speak into your life,” regardless of, well, anything most people would consider reasonable criteria.
Anonymoussays:November 21, 2010 at 6:11 PMReply
I don’t remember that being part of the deal. The deal being because you each had the cult ring you had “the right” to speak into a former cult member’s life. However, if that is the case now I welcome it with open arms. Please, you present and past cult members, tell me what you think of me. I would absolutely LOVE the floodgates to open so I would have the opportunity to tell you what I think of you.
heartsfiresays:November 21, 2010 at 9:37 PMReply
They have the fall week of the ring sermons on video. I watched them. They do in fact say that if you wear the ring you are part of the line. As long as you are part of the line any member of the line can speak into your life in full. So basically person A who has been out for 10 years and lives in a rather busy city could have random Just about to graduate January or Just has graduated August come up to him or her and tell them everything wrong in their life. IF they choose not to cheerfully accept the word then they are likely not walking fully in the word. So says DH.
Robert J. Cooksays:November 21, 2010 at 10:19 PMReply
this sucks, I just wrote an essay for class about how fundamentalism strips people of their self-esteem and their ability to think in order to produce followers… and I could have cited your blog in so many places… excellent stuff!
and i know they do it, because I was a pastor in it for 10 years…
Nataliesays:November 22, 2010 at 12:50 AMReply
@Hearts Fire. That is so RIGHT!!! Did they tell you that when you were an intern? I definitely remember it. What the hell is Dave thinking?!?!?!? of course once you get out for a few years would never think to do that, but when you are in the cult you actually think that what he is saying is right!
heartsfiresays:November 22, 2010 at 10:55 AMReply
@Natalie I left early but I KNOW they told it to the Januaries so I know it was said to us during our year.
You are right that it is more the people that just left that are likely to take this and use it but even still can you imagine doing the best you can and having some person that doesn’t know you telling you what you have to change about yourself.