The documentary has been out for quite a few hours now but I haven’t watched it yet (waiting for this evening). What I am seeing quite the jump in page visits in the analytics already. I figured that it may be good to have a post welcoming the influx of visitors. So first, here’s what we’re about today on this fine Wednesday afternoon.
This is the Recovering Alumni blog. It was formerly run by Mica back in its hey-day and it has switched hands a couple of times. While Mica is not a part of this blog officially, it has their blessing. Now, it’s quite the repository of information of stories from interns, missionaries, and Acquire the Fire attendees as well as highlights of dangerous doctrine and poor teachings. (These links and many others are in the menu above). It started in 2009 when one former intern decided to blog about their experience and quite a few people related with it. Over the next several years, more and more stories of abuse and scandal started to break. Ultimately, the RA blog became something of a thorn in Teen Mania’s side.
Probably one of the funniest turn of events is the extremely pro-TM people creating a Facebook group called Thankful HA Alumni. Back then, it seemed like that it was in response to the RA blog and I still maintain that to this day. A lot of our stories, even this whole blog, were written off as ungrateful, sinful, and bitter alumni who just happened to have a bad experience.
The image above was drafted in celebration of the documentary but also reclaims the cynicism that we experienced last decade when there was a big documentary and plenty of other stories breaking out. If there was a cadre of people calling themselves thankful while at the same time invalidating and belittling our experiences, then what do you think they’d call us? So we might as well lean into it.
Now, I’ve spoken about my own bitterness and how I’m processing my own experience with Christianity as a whole. I am still processing things but I do hope to have a sequel to that post. I suppose this is probably a pre-sequel to some degree.
I am still fairly bitter. Recently, I’ve been feeling like I am going through the same issues every few years. Usually I feel like I am doing better, that I have recovered or whatever, but then something creeps back up and I feel like I am taking several steps backwards. Actually, lately, I feel like I’m starting at square one again. I’ve been wondering if the documentary’s release is a big part of it.
A lot of my life feels to be spiraling out of control so maybe I am back at square one again. I recently had this discussion with my therapist after she warned me of how hard it can get with her as a therapist. It is a challenge to dig within oneself but I’ve always been able to rise up and better myself. This new therapy is the hardest I’ve had.
Anyway, I seem to be at square one again. Perhaps you too are at square one, either for the first time or for the upteenth time. Having been here before, I am confident that I can claw my way out again. The first step to my recovery, my first meaningful step, was watching the MSNBC documentary then finding this blog. Since I apparently have more healing to do, and most likely will always, I am hopeful that this new documentary will stir some crud up. This whole summer has been stirring some crud up. It’s hard, but not losing sight of yourself when the past overshadows you is the key. Hopefully you have at least one loved to remind you of your strength and power. I thankfully have my wife to remind me.
So, I may be unthankful for my experience with Teen Mania. In fact, I’ve always felt like there hasn’t been anything to be thankful for. I’ve made quite a few friends and acquaintances over the years through TM and RA, probably the best thing to come out of the cult, but it has always been a silver lining to a particularly dark storm cloud.
