I was an intern from Aug.01 – Aug. 02. My Unreached People Group Retreat (UPG) was one of the worst experiences during my internship. I went into the weekend with a little apprehension. This was supposed to be a simulation of what it would be like to go out into the mission field and I was assigned to one of the “missionary groups.”
We started our weekend with instructions that this would simulate missionaries going into a hostile country that was closed off to the gospel and our first mission was to make it past the “government check point” to get into the country, which was the entire Back 40. As we were going through the check point a couple “government officials” (staff members and/or facilitators) thought our group looked suspicious so we were told we could not enter the country and we had to go to another building to be interrogated (the building was the guys shower room that is used during the summer for missions and camps). While heading over, a couple of interns exited the interrogation area. They had the same terrified look on their face as many of us did during ESOAL and they told us that the government officials were questioning groups trying to expose those who were Christians and that we should do our best not to admit anything in order to keep from being turned away from entering the country. At that point one of the guards from the interrogation came out and yelled at us to head inside.
Once inside, I remember it being loud and there were people screaming and it sounded like someone being tortured. I knew in the back of my mind that it was all fake, but it was still very unnerving to hear the screaming while waiting for the unknown. We were first separated from our team leader and she was taken to another holding area in the shower room. We could hear the guards interrogating her and her yelling back at them and then they came over to our area and started yelling at us. I don’t remember how long after coming in, they decided to go through all of our bags and items looking for something to identify us a Christians. It just so happened that they found a notebook in my bag, one in which I had forgotten to take out of my bag before the retreat and it had a few notes from one of our classes. Immediately, all three guards turned their attention solely on me and began badgering me for information about why I had this information in my notebook and asking me if I was a Christian. When they began yelling I tried to take the advice of the other intern who had originally warned us not to expose who we were. So I began denying that it was my notebook and doing anything I could think to say to get the suspicion off of me and my team. I tried using a story we had tried to come up with, that we were all students just coming to tour the country for a short time. Once I used this excuse they began berating me saying, “So you deny that you are a Christian,” “Do you deny being here to preach Christianity,” etc… I kept my answers short, a simple yes or no and towards the end he asked “Do you believe in Christ?” By this point I had been saying no over and over again and without even really listening to what he had said; I said no. Once it came out of my mouth I started to correct myself and he wouldn’t let me. The lead interrogator began yelling saying “You have denied Christ in front of all these people, in front of your team members and called me a liar. As punishment I had to kneel in the middle of the room surrounded by my team and hold up the cans of food I was given as food supply for the weekend above my head for what felt like a long while but was probably only 5 or 10 minutes. I held the cans for a while and when I became tired the interrogator came back in and yelled at me some more and had one of my team members hold my cans for me, which made me feel even worse that having to deal with the punishment myself.
During this entire time our team leader was still being interrogated and was eventually brought to our holding cell to join us before they released us. I don’t know what they said to her, but she came in with blood shot eyes from crying and she still looked pretty shaken. They eventually let us go and we were allowed to go find our tribe in the Back 40.
We were one of the last missionary groups to get to the Back 40 and it took us a large portion of the day to find our unreached people group because they were not on the map where we were told they would be. We found out later that our group moved and began hiding from the government because they were threatened not to talk to the missionaries or they would be sent to prison in their country (which was the same place we were taken for our interrogation). By the time we found our group, I was already emotionally and physically exhausted. I kept replaying the interrogation in my head trying to come up with what I should have said and I didn’t really participate in the rest of the weekend. I let the other team members try to reach our unreached people group while I stayed back just waiting for the weekend to be over.
To top off the weekend they debriefed everyone and mentioned that there were several of us who denied Christ during the weekend activities. Which they couldn’t believe that some of us would do such a thing and that we needed to check our hearts and ask the Lord for forgiveness.
19 comments:
Josh Ex-Intern 00-01says:April 11, 2011 7:58 AMReply
WOW Emily…I remember my UPG retreat being rough. I’m so sorry you went through all that. There is NO excuse for the staff members to treat interns like that.
heartsfiresays:April 11, 2011 8:07 AMReply
Heath calls this a “Role-play” event. That “no one gets harmed and no one would take it beyond just a playful role-play experience.” That they would at the end in the debriefing chide you for playing a role in a way that someone in the REAL situation may be forced to shows a specific level of Psychological torment. There’s no excuse for people to treat others in this way. What I find ironic is that the sanctioned types of role play even impromptu live action role play events where you would expect violence such as the “evil” vampire or D&D specifically have it in their rules that there is to be no harm done to any in scenes. That Physical actions should be described instead of DONE in any case where harm could come to another. That these are rules for events Heath and Dave consider EVIL and yet they are willing to go above and beyond that to physical punishment in more than one LTE speaks very loudly to their mind set. I am so sorry Emily that you had to go through that.
Ericsays:April 11, 2011 9:15 AMReply
“Role-play” of what? I have friends who are actual missionaries to unreached people and closed countries. Their real-life experiences, and the training they received before they went, were ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WHATEVER like this. Teen Mania is living in a fantasy world– a sadistic humiliation fantasy world at that.
Also, a great time to mention the Stanford Prison Experiment again. That was problematic enough with trained psychologists involved– that UPG is going on without competent facilitation is simply unconscionable.
Thanks for your bravery, Emily. I’m sure that sharing this story took more courage than anything those little bullies have ever done in their lives.
Anonymoussays:April 11, 2011 9:17 AMReply
I am so sorry you had to go through this….I remember my UPG event in 98-99, I was on the Tribal side of it and heard about stuff the Missionaries went through and was very thankful I was on the other side – we never really saw anyone besides our Missionaries the whole time! And it snowed too! Thank you for sharing, I can only imagine what you had to go through and hope that God can heal your hurt! Much love to you!
juliesays:April 11, 2011 10:56 AMReply
Emily, I’m so sorry you experienced this! I remember from my own LTEs how terrifying they were and how they made you afraid of staff. In real life, I would pray for a miracle if I was questioned at the border. Or that God would soften the interrogator’s heart. But in LTEs, you know prayers are moot because the staff/gi are determined to make you miserable. So way to go, TM, interns leave LTEs thinking people in a third world country who are against Christianity could be moved by God to have more mercy than you.
Renaesays:April 11, 2011 12:33 PMReply
Emily, I’m so sorry you went through this. I had heard the missionaries had a really hard time, but I didn’t know how bad it really was.
I had a fun time for the first part of the UPG retreat, but that was because I was a tribesperson. I remember everyone used to say if you’re in a tribe you’ll just have fun, and if you’re a missionary you’ll learn a lot (which I am now convinced is TM speak for “we’re going to give you the worst time possible”). I do remember when it stopped being fun though–the night they role played torturing and executing three people–two missionaries and a native who converted. It was all role play, but it was horrible to watch anyway. Two 2nd years were undercover in the government, and they “found” them. They were husband and wife. They shot the wife in front of her husband when she wouldn’t deny Christ, then they tied his feet to a truck and his hands to a pole and backed the truck up to simulate rack-type torture. He was screaming his head off. Then they shot him and he went limp. It was horrifying to watch. The guns sounded real.
I do remember that the “government” people tried to make a back story, and were willing to convert if they were shown certain things by the missionaries. By the end of the event even the “president” of the hostile country had converted. Overall, I would say I had a positive experience, but as I said before, that’s probably because I was in a tribe and I never had to go to jail. I can’t imagine how awful it was for anyone who got sent to jail.
phoenixsays:April 11, 2011 12:57 PMReply
I remember thinking how utterly stupid and pointless UPG was. It’s always been an event to assert control and dominance over interns. It is in NO WAY representative of anything ‘real life’- other than the ‘honor academy’sucks.
Emily, I’m sorry you had to go through this, it wasn’t right at all.
Shilohsays:April 11, 2011 2:20 PMReply
I’m so concerned about the LTE’s.
It seems to me like they are mixing up words.
Calling ‘denying Christ.’ denying your beliefs. Not actually denying Jesus.
(I wonder if Dave has EVER taught about Jesus.)
So you’re told not to “deny Christ” but what they mean is don’t back down on what they’ve taught you… ever. Which would only enforce the dependancy on staff even more.
Sick.
Jesus LOVES us. It’s REALLY effed up to put such an intensity on the denying Christ topic. How can you love Him or understand Him without Him!? Why would they put all that pressure on you??? It’s wrong. And I would suggest that you didn’t actually deny Jesus.
jami c.says:April 11, 2011 3:46 PMReply
Still thankful that I had bronchitis during my UPG. However, I’m truly sorry that you didn’t have my luck, Emily.
And I know it’s probably obvious… but I just want to affirm that you didn’t deny Jesus. I mean, even if they had pushed you to a breaking point… and it hadn’t just been a knee-jerk reaction to their repetitive line of questioning… my belief still stands. You would have only denied a ridiculous and contrived notion that is nothing like the real Jesus at all.
Anonymoussays:April 11, 2011 3:47 PMReply
As was stated by others, if you were in the real situation, you would pray and the Holy Spirit would give strength and direction and wisdom. Such as when the spies were protected and hidden by Rahab – they did not announce who they were or what they were doing there.
There is nowhere in the Bible where they “practiced” being missionaries or going through hardship – Paul did not “practice” being shipwrecked or beaten. He depended on the Holy Spirit to supply what he needed when he needed it. This would be ridiculous if it were not so overly zealous works-based, harmful emotionally traumatic manipulation.
I realize he received his degrees many years ago but I would think that he would be aware of the integrity of protecting people from psychological harm, since his degrees are in psychology and counseling. He may have started with the right idea of “God’s Army” but his militant over-aggressive role-plays have gone beyond the boundaries of giving information to teach and have just gone to torture. There is no right answer when you are in a role-play like that where they are determined to have a certain outcome. He does not appear to be licensed as a counselor but he should know better. Because this is a religious organization there is latitude and I would not be inclined to lose our freedom of speech but I think an independent consultant to observe and would see these activities from a very different perspective. While Ron may see it as putting on a “play” “theatrical” it has moved beyond that and in to the sphere of the aforementioned Stanford Prison Experiment. The old adage, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is a lie. There is power in words to hurt.
Anonymoussays:April 11, 2011 3:49 PMReply
Sorry in the last paragraph, “he” is Ron Luce. Probably assumed but wanted to clarify.
catsavedsays:April 11, 2011 7:59 PMReply
I am really saddened to hear that the LTE’s have become more terrible instead of fun. I remember really looking forward to those weekends because they were always fun… sounds like someone really needs to reexamine what encourages and supports healthy growth in teens.
Wow.
Anonymoussays:April 11, 2011 8:25 PMReply
Why not ask permission from the government to come and preach the Gospel? Most governments (save a few) are willing to open their borders if you talk with them and explain what you want to do there.
Recovering Alumnisays:April 11, 2011 8:28 PMReply
Anon – I’m pretty sure its not that kind of government….given the fact that they have a dedicated area to interrogation/jail/torture…
CarrieSaumsays:April 11, 2011 8:29 PMReply
I had a wonderful time on my UPG. That was entirely due to the tribe we were paired up with. It seems like (and correct me if I am wrong) that the UPG and other LTEs became MUCH more intense and scary after the they started ESOAL.
Emily, I’m so sorry you had such a traumatic experience. I hope you don’t feel any lingering sense of shame, inadequacy, or rejection by God over this. If you do, it isn’t true. Stupid Teen Mania.
Anonymoussays:April 12, 2011 5:03 AMReply
God I am so done with these people! When will it ever stop?
laynesays:April 13, 2011 8:58 AMReply
CarrieSaum – I think you have hit on something. After ESOAL manifested, many of the other LTE’s began progressing to the same abusive intensity/strangeness of ESOAL. I wonder what they would look like today if not for ESOAL.
littlegraygirlsays:April 13, 2011 9:15 AMReply
I had a BLAST during my UPG…of course, I was a tribes-person. However, I did feel like something was probably “off” about the whole thing. When it was over, I heard some horror stories from some girls in my core who’d been missionaries and were dealing with a lot of guilt and shame over what the missionaries had coerced them into doing. I also overheard some GIs (government) bragging about how they chased down some missionary and literally tackled him to the ground and dragged him to their truck.
Sisterlisasays:May 3, 2011 10:14 PMReply
So they want you to role play in a ‘foreign country’ scenario then switch it up at the end and demand that your ‘role playing denial of Christ’ was real. Then treat you as if you weren’t a real Christian because of a role playing scenario. They were wrong in what they did. I totally disagree with their tactics, they aren’t edifying or wise at all. Thank you for being courageous to speak up.
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