Good News

I recently sent each member of the Teen Mania Board of Directors a certified letter outlining my main concerns with the Honor Academy.

I am pleased to report that the Board has just contacted me regarding that letter. I spoke with their point person and we had a very positive and warm conversation. The Board is very willing to listen to former interns and take their criticisms seriously.

To that end, they are looking for more information from former interns. As most of you know, there is a great stigma against “speaking ill” of Teen Mania. Because of that, there are not many places for the board to hear from former interns who have concerns. They need to know if this is one person making a big stink or if there are truly widespread issues.

This is your chance to change things.

The Board is listening with great concern and it is time for you to speak up.

You can write to the point person for the board, Dr. Mark Lewandowski. His email is marklewtulsa@gmail.com.

Put “Honor Academy” in the subject line. Your identity will not be revealed to anyone but the Board.

In addition, the Board of Directors is considering putting together an independent panel to review the practices at the Honor Academy and determine the validity of the concerns stated on this blog and then to make recommendations with a goal of improving the Honor Academy into what is hopefully a more grace-filled, healthy experience.

Even if you have written your story here, please write to Mark. This is your chance to help future interns not endure the pain you did. Don’t delay.

34 comments:

Eric P. said…

From your lips to God’s ears.
February 12, 2010 3:38 PM

Cesna said…

Praise the Lord! Wow, this is awesome news!!! The power of prayer, is that to change destiny. 😀 WONDERFUL!! Wow, this totally made my day. YES!!
February 12, 2010 6:10 PM

Ben said…

BIG HIGH FIVE. 😀
February 12, 2010 6:16 PM

Anonymous said…

NOT TM party line..

I am very excited by this. I love TM. I supported the ministry, interns, and missionaries. I have seen great things happen and many lives changed for the better.

That being said… I do find valid concerns posted here and am glad that the board of TMM is stepping up to look into this.

I pray that both parties enter into this process with a goal to bring forth a stronger, healthier, and overall improved TMM. May God guide both sides.
February 12, 2010 7:09 PM

Ben said…

RA, would you be able to post the letter you wrote? i’d be interested to read it.
February 12, 2010 10:22 PM

z said…

Thank you for listening Teen Mania! It means a lot to us to know you have heard us. I hope and pray that something positive comes from this!
February 13, 2010 12:39 AM

Moriah said…

Hello readers.

I think this is a very wonderful opportunity to express our
experience with Teen Mania to the board of Teen Mania, which is
comprised of an independent group of people from a variety of
ministries.

I wanted to make a couple of points about this opportunity with regard
to both effective communication with the board and personal growth in
your own lives.

It is so liberating to express and share all of the negative feelings
about Teen Mania through this website, and I have thoroughly enjoyed
reading through the comments and getting to know the characters
through their own unique styles of writing! The pseudonyms help quite
a bit too. I found a lovely group of individuals that have come
together with a common goal of healing and comfort for the abuse we
were put through as interns at the Honor Academy. The healing begins
with the acknowledgment and awareness of our experiences that is
expressed through writing. It is amazing how words can evoke so much
emotion i in the written form. Anger . . . Sadness. . . Joy . . .
Fear . . .Hope . . . Love . . .Laughter! Its truly wonderful to hear
these voices through the written word.

In light of the power of the written word, I relish the idea of
voices being heard by TM! I want to encourage everyone not only to
express yourself, but also to do it with care and consideration. A
letter written with care and depth of thought has the potential to be
very effective to its readers. Choose words wisely, while striving to
communicate the full emotional impact TM has had on your life journey.

While it is in the highest hopes that this intercommunication will
have a positive impact on TM and future interns, I think it is also
important to remember that this may or may not happen. However,
regardless of what happens to Teen Mania in the future, I feel that
healing and growing in our own personal lives remains a central issue.
For me, finding this website was huge in my healing process! As I
stated before, it has been absolutely liberating to come across this
website, to bond with others who have a shared experience, and to be
able to express my feeling about teen mania freely. Those feelings had
been bottled up for over ten years and it felt so great to find you
all. Merci!

To summarize:

Regarding communication with Teen Mania: Write. Express. Edit with
care and thought. Do it sooner than later.

and regardless of what the outcome is, continue growing and healing
in your own lives: Find vibrant communities, take a dance class, go to
counseling, sit alone in beautiful old church with stained glass
windows, educate yourself about abuse recovery, learn to play the
fiddle, buy a motorcycle, sleep in, eat a sugar cookie, play in the
snow, walk on the grass in bare feet, smoke a cigar, have a whiskey,
make some bread,make friends with someone you admire who doesn’t share your spiritual perspective. Its ok. Really.

Love,
February 13, 2010 2:04 PM

Ex-Intern Aug 07 said…

Wow!
February 13, 2010 8:05 PM

Natalie said…

I sent mine in. 😉
February 15, 2010 9:33 PM

another anon said…

I’m not from Teen Mania but I have extensive experience with spiritual abuse. I am thrilled they have extended this offer and hope that it brings much healing and change to people.

I don’t want to be a buzz kill so take this or leave it. I mean this with sincerity. In many authoritarian, spiritually abusive environments, leaders like to appear magnanimous, interested, “humble” and invite discussion / feedback. What often happens is that they want to tell you where you are wrong or get the inside scoop so they can re-structure themselves in a way that looks like they listened but really are using the info for their own purposes.

Hopefully that is not the case here.
February 16, 2010 8:30 AM

Recovering Alumni said…

Another – those are words of wisdom and something I’ve definitely considered. I’m compiling a list of specific concerns that must be addressed by the board or panel. If they fail to address the issues, I will not be satisfied and I will say so.
February 16, 2010 11:40 AM

former staffer said…

I’m confused and mainly just looking for clarification. I loved my intern experience & my GI experience…learned a ton, there were definitely things that I thought were questionable but I knew the Lord wanted me there. I do have to say that after leaving the staff I definitely probably have a bit of frustration inside but for the most part, these are things I need to work out for myself….not necessarily all geared at TM (although there are a few things :))

The confusion comes into the question, are you guys TM to change because you believe in it are you wanting it to shut down? I’m confused mainly because I am an avid reader and it seems that (I may be wrong) the point of this blog is to turn people away from the HA & TM or at least make them think before jumping on board so why are you wanting things to change then? If we want things to change there shouldn’t we be addressing things that we will bring about change instead of turning people away? Does that make sense?

I believe that the heart of TM is genuine, I just think their going about some things in the wrong way and need to change those things.

Anyway, these thoughts are a bit scattered, hope they make sense, lol

Former Staffer
March 4, 2010 10:34 AM

Recovering Alumni said…

Hi former staffer,

Good question and I can understand why you are confused.

Originally, when I started this blog, my primary aim was to help other alumni make sense of what they went through – the way I wish someone had been able to help me. If a potential intern read this material and decided not to go to the HA, then that was just a bonus. If I could save even one person from the heartache I endured, I consider it a blessing.

As the months progressed, I felt like it was my responsibility (according to Matt. 18, if you will) to take the information to the Board of Directors. Many people have repeatedly confronted Ron and Dave about these issues, to no avail. So, it only seemed logical to speak to their superiors.

Honestly, I did not at all expect that the board would contact me. I mainly did it so that I could say I did everything in my power to bring truth to light.

Now that they are considering these allegations, I truly hope they do make appropriate changes and rid the HA of the abuse that goes on.

In the meantime, my heart is that no one should have to suffer what I, and many others, have suffered. I would personally never send my child or encourage anyone I knew to attend the HA.

I hope that makes sense. Let me know if I can clarify it further.
March 4, 2010 11:20 AM

former staffer said…

Appreciate it….I guess bottom line is now I know your heart but maybe others that are avid readers or commenters love TM and want to see it succeed but just want to change things….its good to see things from every side.

For what its worth, I was a staff member there for several years and worked very closely with Dave & the leadership team and I can tell you 100% that they are listening….with some things I can honestly say that even though things don’t look like there changing, they are listening. I left TM on good terms but since have fallen on the outside.

I fully support what the Lord wants to do there but do believe that things need to start changing in the hearts of the leaders to really allow the Lord to move in a dramatic way. I think that there are some leaders there that definitely realize it whether you guys believe or not….I pray that they just become more vocal about it.

Anyway, thanks

former staffer
March 4, 2010 11:25 AM

carrie said…

@ former staffer

thank you. sincerely.
March 4, 2010 5:32 PM

Anonymous said…

WOW!!! Sorry this is a long one…

So I recieved this link to this open forum by a friend through facebook. I was reading some of these coments and was thinking to myself my expirence at TM.

Like some my expirience was good. I was going over everythhing that happend and foudn that I didnt have any complaints.

I was there for two years, I started in August 01 and stayed on a secound year.

Yes I had many questions and two suggestions that I wanted to address with them. But until now I didnt know how.

After reading these comments I went on to the Alumni Website. I hadnt been on there in the past four years.

I was astonished to find that in the alumni form that we had rules and regulations on what we talk about.

Listed below is what they state:

Discussion Forum Guidelines
Introduction
In order for the Alumni Association mission to be fulfilled, standards and procedures must be established and adhered to. These standards ARE NOT set forth to limit or restrict Alumni; rather, they are to facilitate an appropriate environment where Alumni can be encouraged, stretched, and motivated in their personal walk with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

These standards and procedures are setup up not with the intention of stating that particular topics or actions are necessarily wrong to discuss or contemplate; rather, they are topics that are left best to contained, monitored discussions with your peers.

Furthermore, when most of these topics and/or actions are discussed openly in an environment such as the Alumni Association events or the Alumni site, they often lead to miscommunication, frustration and division.

NOTE: The following standards and procedures apply to all Alumni Association sponsored activities as well as the alumni website. Alumni Association sponsored activities do not include those advertised by the Alumni Association on behalf of individual alumni.

Sex: While the topic of sex may be pertinent to your particular relationship, you are asked that topics regarding sex be directed to individuals on a more personal nature. IE: in person, e-mail or phone.

Pornography, Masturbation, and related issues: We understand that with our human nature, some deal with particular struggles of this nature. Please talk to your local church leaders and/or accountability partners about such topics.

Alcohol: If there is any subject that has been beaten into the ground and caused strife and division amongst believers, this is one of them. Therefore, please refrain from having open discussions on your alcohol habits and preferences at Alumni Association sponsored events and/or on the Alumni website.

Homosexual Behavior: Some Alumni have been blinded and have chosen a path of homosexual behavior. Those of you who have chosen this route are asked not to discuss this topic openly within the Alumni site and or Alumni Association sponsored activities. If you are wishing to receive help and or guidance, please contact your church leaders, a Teen Mania leader you may confide in, or an appropriate board member.

NOTE: The Alumni Association Board reserves the right to monitor the content of the discussion board and to remove or edit any post which it deems to be in violation of the above-mentioned principles.

If anyone continues in posting or bringing up conversations that are contrary to these standards, he/she will receive a warning from an approved moderator. Should the behavior continue, their discussion board privileges will be revoked as deemed necessary by consensus of the Alumni Board and the Office of Alumni Advancement.

I am shocked that we cant talk openily about things we are dealing with or are. I am not writing to say mean or hutful things about this ministry. I loved the hard expirence that I had. I had to take what I learned and filter it down to what I knew that God wnated for me.

I have many questions and two topices that I want to address with them.

Thank you for opening the door for us to address these issues.
March 8, 2010 8:51 AM

Anonymous said…

Oh and I find this offensive..

Homosexual Behavior: Some Alumni have been blinded and have chosen a path of homosexual behavior. Those of you who have chosen this route are asked not to discuss this topic openly within the Alumni site and or Alumni Association sponsored activities. If you are wishing to receive help and or guidance, please contact your church leaders, a Teen Mania leader you may confide in, or an appropriate board member.

NOTE: The Alumni Association Board reserves the right to monitor the content of the discussion board and to remove or edit any post which it deems to be in violation of the above-mentioned principles.

If anyone continues in posting or bringing up conversations that are contrary to these standards, he/she will receive a warning from an approved moderator. Should the behavior continue, their discussion board privileges will be revoked as deemed necessary by consensus of the Alumni Board and the Office of Alumni Advancement.


You can be gay and love God too. This is a topic that is never addressed at the Honor Academy.

I prayed for years to be something that I am. I tried to change and I couldnt. It took me years to finally say I have had it. I need to be who I am and be comfortable. I know god loves me and he will always love me.

If you are gay its ok! GOD STILL LOVES YOU!
March 8, 2010 8:56 AM

Recovering Alumni said…

Anon – Yes, unfortunately the alumni website is just another example of TM’s inability to allow people to be themselves and to talk about what they are really going through.

Again, its about hiding who we are and what we are dealing with so we can all conform to the approved standards….and yet, inside, many of us are dying – hurting, confused, depressed, etc.
March 8, 2010 10:37 AM

Jarrod Robbins said…

First of all, I’m proud of the HA for taking a step in a productive direction here, and I’m proud of all of you for not standing still when you felt the need to step.

I graduated from the HA in December of ’01, so I have had a LOT of time to look back at my experiences there. This is what I’ve come to accept:

I signed up for the HA because my life was swinging in a direction that scared me. I felt out of control, aimless and ignorant. I was always a good kid, but I was lost.

Bottom line, for me personally, the HA was a swing in the opposite direction than that of the direction I was heading before the HA. Neither extreme is how I want to lead my day-to-day life, but I, personally, had to go through both to find out how to balance the duration of my days.

Are they too strict? No, not for the purpose that it served me…as a reset button. Is the HA way the way you should lead the rest of your life? That’s for the individual to decide. It’s like they always taught us there: when someone is critical of you, look at WHAT they’re saying more than HOW they say it…you might find some real truth despite their means of expression. I just took the MASSIVE amount of tools and love and direction that I got from the HA and left the rest in Garden Valley. In other words: don’t throw the baby out with the bath water.

Are there things I would change? Sure. I don’t agree with some of what they profess to be truth. But I knew what I was getting into before I got there. Afterall, we paid to be there. The entire year was an ESOAL, and it was one of the best decisions of my life. Not for what it was…but for what I got from it.

Sincerely,

Jarrod “Gus” Robbins
intern class of ’01
March 8, 2010 11:44 AM

Recovering Alumni said…

Jarrod, I’ve heard similar feedback from a few guys. I’m beginning to wonder if the boot camp type environment benefits a certain kind of person (maybe those who would also benefit from military training). Just a thought…
March 8, 2010 11:53 AM

Natalie said…

“Some Alumni have been blinded and have chosen a path of homosexual behavior.”
AND
“Those of you who have chosen this route are asked not to discuss this topic openly within the Alumni site and or Alumni Association sponsored activities.”

Wow. I’ve been shocked by this the last hour.
I know it’s off topic a tad but on topic to the post’s —
It sounds like whoever wrote that has put the issue of homosexuality in a bag, put a price tag on it and called it done.
#1- If you are homosexual you have been blinded.
#2- If you are homosexual you have chosen that rout.
It sounds like they’re saying if you are Alumni and homosexual it is all YOUR fault.
Also, you are blinded and chose it. Well, doesn’t that suck? “HEY! You’re blind! AND you chose the wrong rout!”
Now I grew up a good ‘ol country hippy in the back woods right in the middle of the homosexual movement on the west coast. Many of my friends are gay as well as a few family members.
I can tell you what a gross lie it is to say that homosexuality is not sin. It tears people apart. I’ve seen it at a very up close angle.
But I can also testify of the love that God has for those struggling with the gay lifestyle. I can think of 6 VERY impacting people in my life who walked out in the homosexual lifestyle and God RADICALLY changed their lives (because they tend to be the people that don’t want to believe just what anyone tells them. When God says something, they know it’s true and usually are the MOST devoted.
uhg. I could go off on the topic a lot more, but I wont. I just wanted to say the sentance made me sad.
I’m so sorry to all who have been hurt. I never really noticed at the H.A. cause I didn’t grow up in the biblebelt culture. It was just normal to have people struggling with homosexuality at my church. I figured that was the way it was everywhere.
March 8, 2010 12:19 PM

Recovering Alumni said…

Good comments all around. I think we can all agree that God wants us to be open about who we are and what we are dealing with. I just want to make sure we don’t get sidetracked on this “Is homosexuality a sin?” question. Its too big a topic to really do justice in the comments…

No matter what you believe about homosexuality – the bottom line is that God loves everyone – gay or straight. I think we can all agree on that.
March 8, 2010 12:27 PM

Natalie said…

If not here? Where?
If not now? When?
R.A. The people need to TALK!
lol.
Does any know any other blogs or websites that talk about Christian churches/ministries that have closed out the topic of homosexuality? the topic has me puzzled this morning. (really, I never experienced that side)
March 8, 2010 12:36 PM

Recovering Alumni said…

Natalie – I don’t mind talking about the subject at all, just would rather do it on a dedicated comment thread. Perhaps I should do a “hot topics” series where everyone can discuss these types of things…
March 8, 2010 12:38 PM

Anonymous said…

This is awesome man! Thank God some one is doing somthing about this! I was an intern and then a few years later I came back to be a staff member. One of my main reasons for coming back is to try to fix some of the things that were going on at TM.

I want to help out as much as I can with this. If anyone would like to get a hold of me PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME: spud1gun@yahoo.com
March 12, 2010 11:13 AM

Anonymous said…

I apologize for continuing to address the comment made above but in light of the fact that a Hot Topic section has not been created I will comment here. Please feel free to cut and paste to put it in the appropriate spot.

I am a TM intern almumnus who graduated in 2000 and I was pleased to be contacted concerning this blog. Although my experience at TM was primarily positive, I had a fair share of depression and confusion upon my exit from the program. I am so pleased to find a group of people willing to freely discuss the hurts and disapointments they experienced through TM and to reevaluate their own lives and experiences that may deviate from TM core spiritual teachings. There is so much to be examined and experinced on our individual spiritual walks outside the spiritual environment of TM.
March 12, 2010 5:52 PM

Anonymous said…

My main concern is in regards to a comment made about homosexuality. Unfortunately, there are still so many well meaning Chistians who reflect social stigmas and continue to misunderstand homosexuals and call their “lifestyle” sinful. Homosexuals have been stigmatized and pushed to the social periphery throughout history and unfortunately many uninformed Christians continue to do so today. Thankfully, there are a growing group of theologians and ministers in several denominations who are reexamining the Biblical text on this issue. They are certainly not changing Scripture but they are looking at the original language, context, audience and social setting surrounding the author and original readers. For example, Acts 8:26-40 recounts the familiar story of Philip ministering to the Ethiopian eunuch. There is social evidence that some enuchs from the Ethiopian court and others throughout the world would have been recognized as homosexual men in today’s
world and some were selected for their posts based on their sexual orientation. If in fact God mysteriosly wisked Philip away to “magically” appear and minister to a homosexual who was saved is an amazing example of how God went out of His way to attend to a person who was shunned by the church then and would be, in many cases, today. There are certainly harmful and sinful aspects of homosexual culture that affect individuals and families; and there are people who will feel happy and most fulfilled or “free” as heterosexual people. However, every person is different and every person’s experience is different and there are God-fearing men and women in monogamous, loving homosexual partnerships who are serving God and helping people to love others and themselves. These individuals are happy and fulfilled in their spiritual walks, relationships, and personal lives. These individuals continue to love and accept others even when a large portion of the church
continues to shun, misrepresent, and stimatize them. They are reaching a portion of the population that is hurting and feeling abandoned by God and the church. I have met and interacted with these unique individuals and they display amazing bravery, compassion, and love for others.

For those who are interested in examining the Biblical text closer on this issue for themselves there are books such as “Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality” by Dr. Jack Rogers, that shine light on the issue. Note that Dr. Rogers is a heterosexual Presbyterian seminary professor and minister who once believed that homosexuals should change their lifestyles and were “sinful”.

It is time for Christians to examine the issues and not be led blindly by social stigmas and ignorance. We all would be wise to remember that the Bible was misused to support slavery and then segregation up until the 1950s! We have to think outside the box, we have to be willing to reexamine social norms and to remember that Jesus was exceptional in reaching out to, loving, serving and including people who were considered social outcasts at the time he walked the earth. We also need to remember the awesome variety of types of people that God has created and that we are called not to judge but to love, not to love and “hate the sin” but just to love.

This is the kind of thing TM doesn’t want me to say, but in true TM style I will say that there is a “generation of young people” who will love and include homosexuals and it should start with us.
March 12, 2010 5:52 PM

Amber Imhoff (smith) said…

I was an August 01 intern. I was rather shocked to recieve the email. I had an extremely emotionally stretching time as an intern but overall it was the best choice I could have made in my life at that time. My intern year was very different because of 9/11. Any organization with humans in it is never going to be perfect. Do I think sometimes they were hard on me yes, but man I learned a lot. I left TM in the best physcial shape I had ever been in. It developed a lot of spiritual disciplines in me. Do I follow every rule we had no, but it helped me to evaluate why I believe what I believe. I had a very different experience than many people though as I worked security as my ministry placement and volunteered in off time in the call center. I was able to root myself into a wonderful church while I was there. I got married four months after graduation to my high school sweet heart. The time apart while I was in Texas really gave me time to focus on myself.
March 12, 2010 9:14 PM

Lauen Humphries (Bailey) said…

Ok, so I was in the same class with Jared and Amber and it’s interesting to me that we all feel similar. I do understand the fact that TM is very strict and harsh but at the same time, I really needed it. I needed someone to tell me what to do and if it wasn’t TM it would have been someone in the wrong direction. I did have a very hard time when some of my friends were kicked out and I know that they have struggled since. I married the best man ever about two years after TM (no, we did not have any relationship there, we were just friends and continued to be friends outside). He has a different perspective than me, he often says TM made him feel like he can not worship, live, be, serve, etc well enough. He doesn’t like the “mountain top” that TM tells you you should live at all the time. I understand that, but at the same time I feel like you just have to know that you can’t actually live there and not make a huge deal of it. I’m happy in my life and I’m glad TM showed me ways to try to follow Him even if I can’t/ won’t do every one, I appreciate the fact that now I can choose for myself and my walk.
March 15, 2010 9:17 AM

Recovering Alumni said…

Lauren,

Thanks for your comment. Its REALLY interesting how you and your husband have such different perspectives. I always wonder what allows someone like you to come through unscathed while your husband (and many of us) didn’t. Any idea on what contributed to that?
March 15, 2010 10:22 AM

Lauren Humphries(Bailey) said…

I would not say I came through “unscathed and he didn’t”. . . In fact I would say TM was a very important part of both our lives and made a huge difference to us ( of course we also met there) but I do think one difference for us is the way we each work. He is incredibly smart and has a wonderful memory, in fact he can repeat many things he has heard or read word for word! I, on the other hand, have a horrible memory and it is a huge challenge for me to try to memorize something like scripture or whatever. I think when he thinks back he can remember word for word and I can only remember the point of the speach, lecture, etc. The point is very valid, but evey word can be harder to live up to.
March 18, 2010 2:45 PM

Anonymous said…

I believe that as human beings we are mostly shaped by environmental forces. Everyone comes into TM in a different stage of their lives for a variety of reason and a plethora of needs… Obviously not everyone will have a great or bad experience… due to their backgrounds. So I suggest that perhaps a way to improve the system would be to sift through the individual candidates by conducting interviews in order to determine whether the experience will do them much good in the long run. In retrospective, we have all gained SOMETHING out of it. The problems is how to quantify how much of it is good and how much is bad. Who knows what would have been of us if we had not gone to the internship that specific year.
I personally had a freaking awesome time and bought into it like that was all that was relevant in life! In the long run I can see how this has handicapped me. What if’s run through my mind… but God’s grace is sufficient!
Today I can say that I think (because ever since I found this blog I have been re-assessing the hard feelings I had suppressed inside about TM) that my problem was my mental level of maturity coming into the Internship. Rebellious already thinking that I knew more than my mother and was in complete control… Super naive about life bc I simply was in a foreign country that I didn’t even grew up and had no idea as to how society worked. The fact alone that I was 17 should say enough. So resulting from that I became exponentially naïve, judging and legalistic among others.
I have a lot more to think about and many emotions to sift through. Now I realize why presently I doubt everything that I have been taught. Heck I do not believe half of what I read in the bible… I suppose that is some sort of wall of defense against naiveness…
So who knows? Maybe I would have been better or worse off…
My opening suggestion is just a small thing that may be implemented… I do not assume that it is easy or nor effective enough to guarantee improvements. No suggestion at all would have been complaining ha? And that is one good thing I learned in TM… no complaining unless you are willing to come up with a solution.
March 23, 2010 4:26 PM

Anonymous said…

After much thought… the biggest problem with TM is not the doctrine that they are teaching, it’s HOW. The root of the problem is not that the mission of the ministry is… to teach and raise up an army of youth that will take over our nation for God… or something along those lines. It’s the way they are going about doing that. Indoctrinating kids… no matter how great their intentions are or in the name of the almighty God… this is the biggest problem. At least in my opinion. The funny thing is that while I was there I knew that our beloved organization had all the characteristics of a cult… a “christian cult” nonetheless, but somehow that fact (key word ‘christian’) excused the cultishness of it. The fact that it was all “bible-based” also thwarted my ability to question it because I was taught that doubting the bible was such a sin. I was not mature enough to understand the implications this sort of brainwashing would have when I returned home.

Also, Ron’s zealousness and passion, that is so greatly admired (and for good reason) it’s taken as the standard of social and spiritual behavior for the rest of our “honorable” lives. So we walk out of the internship and go back home thinking that IF our lives were to be lived to the fullest of God’s will we would leaders in our church and everywhere we went we would let the world know what God thinks of their behavior (confronting in love, provided a zero tolerance policy for sin or the appearance thereof)… then as a result God would increase our “sphere of influence” and “expand our cups”… Have a godly courtship, marry, and along with your spirit filled partner engage in the ministry, and don’t forget to support your Republican candidate …etc… (maybe I went a bit overboard with that last one) lol.

These two factors combined I believe harness much of the culpability for the harm done (in my life at least).
March 23, 2010 5:10 PM

joel Callaway said…

I sent my email to the Board. I even received a reply to say thanks and that the information was helpful. I’ll copy and paste the entire email below:

Hello Dr. Lewandowski,

I’ve been mulling over my experience as an alumnus. It’s a mixed bag. I had some great experiences. I met some really outstanding people. I also experienced a lot of not-so-great things. My hesitance for providing a laundry list is mostly out of my desire to move on. In moving on, I also find myself moving away from an association with TM. This is mostly due to my feeling that organizationally, I have little faith that anything would change. Typically in any movement, whether it’s a cultural phenomenon, or group, there’s a point where it becomes an institution too rigid to significantly alter its own culture. At least not enough to to really change hearts and minds, heal wounded spirits, and propel it forward in a healthy, relevant way… much less validate an individual’s pain and apologize.

So, my personal laundry list will remain my own at this time. However, there has been one thing that has been rolling in my gut for the past couple of months. I can’t shake it, so I’ll share it. During the debriefing of my first year, Jim Jones was giving a talk and started addressing “those” intern alumni that where struggling with their experience. He started mimicking them in a whiney, cartoonish voice:

“But this wasn’t what I was told… this hasn’t taught me anything about the real world…” etc

His rebuttal was a barking, “Did we teach ya to love God?! Did we teach ya to worship your face off?! GET OVER IT!”

And that is my lasting impression of TM’s stance on my fellow Alumni when they start to struggle with their experience. That is why my personal issues have yet to be aired in a public forum. I simply don’t think they’ll be addressed in any way other than a rhetorical exercise of a dodge, perry, and counter. I would hope that TM could be different, but I gave it a rather large chunk of my life all ready. Taking a cue from Mr. Luce, I don’t wish to waste anymore of my youth. If the board of directors wishes to prove that TM is capable of meaningful dialog and even reconciliation, that would be awesome. That might even change the world.

I do appreciate you taking the time to read this. For that I thank you.

Joel Callaway
Intern ’98-99
Ministry Team / Fellowship ’99-’00
March 27, 2010 2:11 PM