Restitution?

(2021 Update: This post is one of ~80 that were in the drafts and did not get archived by the Wayback Machine. The next section is what was originally written followed by my addition after the break.)

This is a great point. In lieu of the fact that TM leadership has failed to sincerely apologize or even recognize what they have done to us…(a generic “people were hurt, we’re sorry” statement is not the same as taking responsibility and changing – and its not even a real apology) what kind of restitution is owed?

I lost 2 years of my life.

I lost at least 3-4 years to severe depression.

I lost my ability to trust people and God for many years.

I lost my self-worth and a feeling of God’s love and approval.

I lost 6-7 years mired in legalism and works.


I also lost 2 years of my life.

I lost full functionality in my hips thanks to ESOAL and I lost full functionality in my shoulders thanks to IET Phase 3.

I lost 2 years to severe depression, anxiety, and a suicide attempt.

I lost 2 years and $10k floundering in college thanks to said depression.

I lost my faith. (While TM wasn’t the last straw to spur me to leave the faith, a lot of those straws are because of TM and its leadership.)

I lost my self-esteem and wouldn’t stick up for myself.

I lost 10 years not accepting my queer self.

2 thoughts on “Restitution?”

  1. Thanks for reposting this blog. Although I wasn’t an intern I went on multiple GE trips, and my church did at least two “retreats” a year at the Texas campus. So you could say my youth pastor was trying to re create a mini HA within the youth group. And a lot of shame and guilt was placed on me for choosing to go to college and not the HA. As I recover from my own trauma of TM I I’ll randomly search online for others’ stories. It helps reading other people say that these experiences were not okay.

    1. Recovering Alumni

      Hey SK!

      I’m glad you came across the blog some time ago (sorry for the late reply!) It’s remarkable how quickly a lot of churches leap to shame and guilt. I definitely experienced that decently before my time at TM and more so afterwards.

      I hope you’ve been able to process that and find peace with yourself.

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