Every spring, Honor Academy interns get a series of relationship talks on dating vs. courtship, marriage and sex. While talking with recent interns, I have noticed a trend of many of them being totally unable to, afraid of, and/or ignorant of how to engage in a normal romantic relationship. While the Evangelical church at large may have contributed to some of this with the “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” trend, I’ve noticed that some percentage of alumni have abnormally serious dysfunctions in this area directly due to the Honor Academy’s teachings. In an attempt to address this, I’m going to do an extended series on these teachings with regards to dating/courtship, marriage and sex. I invite you to submit any specific questions or topics that you’d like me to address in the comments or to my email at recoveringalumni at recoveringalumni dot blog.
If you are living in fear in this area, I hope this series will bring you some freedom and balance. Let’s get started…
Ron talks a lot about courtship and how to pursue a “Godly Romance.” Throughout all of his relationship sermons, Ron is very clear that you MUST follow the correct process of courtship in order to ensure a good, easy, healthy marriage. Since he says it is so important to follow the right process (or formula) then one would presume that this formula is clearly stated in Scripture.
So let’s take a look at the formulas that some of the most important figures in Scripture followed in order to find their mate. Each one is hyperlinked to its Scripture reference.
For the men:
– Work for your uncle for seven years so that you can marry his daughter. (Jacob & Rachel)
– Rape a virgin and then pay her father 50 shekels of silver (about 5 years wages).
For the women:
– Your father can sell you into slavery where you can be given as a wife to a male slave.
Now, of course, this is all Old Testament. What does the New Testament have to say about how to go about finding and courting your spouse?
………………………Crickets………………………
NOTHING!
It doesn’t say anything about HOW to do it. There are general guidelines for your heart about avoiding lust, sexual immorality, etc. BUT THERE IS NO BIBLICAL COURTSHIP FORMULA.
It does not exist.
Tomorrow, I’ll summarize the main tenets of Ron’s teaching on “Developing a Godly Romance” through courtship and see if they are actually stated in Scripture.
20 comments:
This is fantastic!!! I LOVE it. 🙂
thanks for doing this RA 🙂
I’m looking forward to all of the parts of this!
There is one piece of advice in the New Testament- if you are burning with lust- get married!
Anon – Ron Luce would advise (if you are burning with lust) that you run away and never look back. In fact, he’d probably suggest that your marriage would be/is doomed and that you and your wife/husband would/will never be able to trust each other. Ever.
…wait, maybe that was more of a DH attitude.
Layne – Nope, you’re right. That’s exactly what Ron teaches.
ya -DH wan’t you to paint the barn then accuse you of causing someone to lust for you
Fabulous start, RA. While I never attended anything Teen Mania, I’ve seen this attitude through most of the churches I’ve spent time in.
Dating bad, “courtship” good. Questions bad, obedience good.
I wrote about this not too long ago myself.
There are a few others that I think should make the list for sure.
For the men.
God will speak out to you and tell you to marry a harlot/whore/promiscuous woman(depending on translation). Hosea 1:2
For the women(on remarriage).
Convince someone not to kill your husband. Then after your husband dies, marry the man you convinced not to kill your husband. 1 Samuel 25
And let’s not forget:
1. Get together a 12,000-man army and have them kill everyone in a given city except the single women. Then, of course, you can marry the single women.
2. If there aren’t enough women to go around after step 1, get a group of your friends, wait for some girls to come out dancing, and then kidnap them. If their fathers or brothers complain, you can explain that they’re doing you a favor; they’ll understand.
(Judges 21, both times.)
Your views on everything are soo extremely worldly. Please talk to God and see what He thinks about it all. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways submit to Him and He will make your paths straight…-Proverbs 3:5-6
LOL
Your views on everything are soo extremely worldly. Please talk to Ron Luce and see what Ron Luce thinks about it all. Trust in the Ron Luce with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding but in all your ways submit to Ron Luce and Ron Luce will make your paths straight…-Lucifer 3:5-6
@ Anon 6:06p
That was awesome ;p
Know that there is a proper way to attract a partner.
“Normal” dating isn’t so easy to define anymore. Thanks to the oversexualized media, courting is practically non-existent now and there are certain expectations in dates that didn’t exist before.
This oversexualized claim is such BS generally. When my Grandparents were very young a popular new Christmas song was “Baby it’s cold outside” if you have never read the lyrics of this song it’s basically about a guy using Snow and drinking as a means for date rape. This song was written in the 30s not in the 60s or later it wasn’t about the sexual revolution it was about HEY lets have sex without telling people. Sexualization is just what happens in the teen years regardless of what generation you were in.
@redhead…what??!! That’s what that song is about??
CRICKETS… hehe you are awesome!
Why would they look for courtship formula in the Bible? Cannot they use common sense and their instincts instead?