When I was at the Honor Academy, I went through a very spiritually dry time. No matter how much I prayed, or studied or did all the right things, I couldn’t seem to feel God’s presence or hear His voice. The longer this went on, the more desperate I got. Everyone – and I mean EVERYONE – at the Honor Academy told me that this dry season was my fault. I had backslidden, or had hidden sin in my life or I just wasn’t trying hard enough or going to church enough. In My Story, I tell how this eventually led me into a deep depression and even suicidal thoughts and my eventual departure from the Honor Academy.
A few months after the dawn of this blog, I corresponded with Dave Hasz who assured me that the Honor Academy no longer teaches this idea and that interns are no longer blamed for their spiritual dry seasons. I hope that is true. I wouldn’t wish what I went through on anybody.
And yet, sadly, I came across this video of some current interns having a room meeting. The ACA (assistant core advisor) is the room leader who is responsible for “pouring into” their fellow roommates, reporting on their spiritual well-being to higher-ups and just generally being the most spiritual person in the room so that everyone else can look up to them.
What’s sad is that this kid, like all interns, is very sincere and genuine. He just wants to do the right thing and grow closer to God, but his idea of God and spirituality has been corrupted by the performance driven culture of the Honor Academy. While discussing how he had the opportunity to “pour into” a fellow intern he says:
5:30 – Honestly, if you are feeling dry at any point, we probably can admit that its because we are not getting into the word.
(video has since been removed)
Again, no offense against this kid who seems to have nothing but pure motives, but this teaching is WRONG. And it hurts people. And Teen Mania has been propagating it for years!
Dry seasons are a normal part of the Christian life. We can’t always be living on the mountaintop. Sadly, at Teen Mania, anything less than a hype-filled, “on fire!” contagious passion is a sign that you are less Christian that you should be.
And that’s just not true.
This teaching drives me crazy. It’s like that trite saying “feeling far from God? Guess who moved.” If you haven’t gone through a really ‘dry’ time like this yourself it’s so easy to throw out reasons like “you haven’t been getting into the word”, or there’s hidden sin or something else that is the person’s fault. People who say these things (it has been me, unfortunately) often have the best of intentions and maybe in some cases those things are true but in the cases where they are not those ideas are deeply damaging. They heap more guilt and grief upon an already confused and hurting soul while reinforcing the idea that our relationships with God are based on how ‘good’ we are; how close to Him we ‘feel’. Bah!
Oh my. I love the honesty and humor of the kid taking the video!! “We’re bad” he says with a playful grin.
Then he suggests they play the game at night after Mr. Responsible admits his weekend is too packed with responsibility . . . . love it!
My suggestion: Ditch Deuteronomy for playing games under the stars. I promise you God is there too, if not more there in the lightness and happiness and sensuality of running around in the moonlight.
Oh Lord, the lists of sins: Sin of omission, sin of commission . . . . what in the world . . . lets make up some new sins everyone.
Oh my goodness! I admire that kid so much!! Taking things lightly and playfully, already understanding that it is just too much. Bravo to the video kid!
A Couple of things I note from this video–
First, there are only 3 people in the room. I assume the rest are on summer missions which is why they are not present.
Second, is that a mattress/bed on the floor? If so, I wonder if that is a choice of one of the roommates or if they are seriously having to sleep on the floor like that. Thoughts?
Great post RA!
Everybody who’s been exposed to teachings like this needs to read The Dark Night of the Soul by St. John of the Cross. He makes the case that not only is “spiritual dryness” not a bad thing, it’s essential for growth in the spiritual life, and experiencing it is a sign of grace from God. He’d also point to Honor Academy as an example of the spiritual immaturity that comes from refusing to embrace spiritual dryness. (The first section, about the seven deadly sins as seen in the spiritual life, fits HA to a T.)
For those who don’t want to wrestle with St. John’s 16th-century prose, much the same point is repeated in The Screwtape Letters by C. S. Lewis; see under “trough periods.”
One of the things I hated about who I was after TM was I was very quick to judge and very low on compassion. If RA told me at TM that she was having a dry spell, I would’ve thought, “Glad I’m not you, sinner!” Which is an attitude we do see in one of Jesus’ parables, unfortunately as an attitude God detests! Now, I would feel so much compassion! It’s terrible to desire God, do all the right stuff and still feel far from God. The fact that a person in a dry season is seeking and desiring God shows it’s not some heart issue keeping God away! It’s tire that God never departs from us, bit he does switch to silent mode sometimes, and we should prepare young Christians for that truth. You cannot reach maturity in Christ without going through some hard seasons spiritually. If you have ever read Psalms, you know David’s relationship with God wasn’t all spiritual highs! Today, if someone told me they were in a dry season, I would tell them that it’s normal and to keep doing what they’re doing or even take a break from what your doing if your spiritually burned out. Find some new ways to connect with God. Listen to worship music at the park and just rest in the fact God is good and God is near, even if you don’t hear him right now.
Mr. Responsible intern seems to be wanting to take his responsibility serious and really cares about the other guys. Mini roads for MT and Mountain LTE have been in the last few weeks (along with prayer and fasting before hand) I suspect that’s the reason for the small group. I feel bad for the responsible one because he seems to want to do all those things but he feels like in order to be seen as the fully Intense intern he can’t. The one who seemed to have the best heart/head was the one with the video camera it’s kids like him that can put the set in balance.
I’m not sure how you can be at TM for long and NOT have a dry spell. The use and use you, never pouring into you, till your sucked dry. Having a dry spell says more about TM than is does the individual.
It’s hard for me to pay attention to what any of them are saying when their room is such a mess, are they not doing room checks any more down there?
Not that a room of guy’s should be neat, but TM prides itself on instilling discipline and then we see that they are not really following through on that.
doesn’t this guy seem EXHAUSTED? So many hours working the phone banks and raising support he can barely speak.
It is for this very reason that I do not have a home church. It’s near impossible to find a church with believers that will love and acccept me. I’ve heard “have you given it to God?”, “Are you praying about it?”, and “Do you have any unconfessed sin?” all too many times. I know at times those are valid questions to ask, but they are used all too often when someone doesn’t know how to help someone else…and it makes me feel like absolute garbage and that it’s all my fault and that Jesus hates me.
Anon – Ugh, I’m SO sorry. I hate that!!! That’s why spiritual abuse makes me so angry. It robs us of the ability to experience God’s absolutely unconditional and crazy love for us.
Looks to me like the ACA had a long day and now he has two boys in the room playing BS. I think recommending that someone spend time in the prescence of the Lord can never be bad advice. You talk about dry spells like they are life or death but I never experienced that shame when I was there. I think as teenagers we naturally judge ourselves because that is our western culture. To blame it on a ministry that pushes you to trust in God is childish.
Anonymous – Wrong.
Anon- did you really throw a “BS” into your post chastising us for processing and trying to find and show others the real God Who doesn’t hate His children for being 5 minutes late to a class?
That was very unexpected- or was it?
Look anon- I am glad you don’t think you experienced that, but many have from their peers and from leadership at the HA for you to assume because you had a good experience all experiences had to have been good or that what was pushed was trusting God instead of legalism is a sign of ignorance at best and out right lying to yourself at worst.
Poor kid looks TIRED. Haha, I wish our room could have looked like that. We had extra training EVERY SATURDAY for dust on our window sills, wrinkles on our bedspreads, etc.
Looks like they needed a bit of slack though! It sounds like more than one of them was going down roads.
In response to somebody’s post up there, it looks like they took the mattress out for the fridge/microwave and… maybe a hammock? I can’t quite tell since it’s all rolled up. I know of a few rooms that did things like that, moving stuff around made it feel a bit more “homey” 😉
LOL I know this guy. That video was a joke. Hahaha. And yes, hes a hardcore Christian, if you knew him personally youd know hes alot like Keith Green. He doesnt settle for anything, and hes on Fire for God all the time. Also, when I was at teenmania recently, many times I didnt feel God, but they worked with me during my dry time. I dont know where you got your info but TM has changed, and isnt the same. I personally heard from Dave Hasz’s mouth that dry times happen, and that its natural and we keep pushing forward. Daves words really helped me 🙂
And yet, teachings like this still occur— so much for change Anon.
I know Derek. He’s a great guy. Please pray for him – Pray that he encounters the Lord’s love, not because he doesn’t already, but because we all need grace every day.
Mattress on the floor – an extra one.
Please don’t speak badly about him just because you want proof for something.
1 Cor 4