I’m slowly going through the book, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, and I can’t recommend it highly enough. I hope the author won’t mind me excerpting a page here that really speaks to the idea that sometimes things are not always as they appear. I know many people, myself included, wonder how something that looks so right on the outside, can actually be so wrong. Italics are mine for emphasis:
It is clear that Jesus took spiritual abuse very seriously. This can be seen in the words He used to characterize the abusers, which to polite ears sound shocking. He called the religious leaders of His day a “brood of vipers.” In Matthew 12 He said, “You brood of vipers, how can you, being evil, speak what is good?” He was even more aggressive in a later confrontation: “You serpents, you brood of vipers, how shall you escape the sentence of hell?” Matthew 3:7 shows us that the “brood of vipers” are the first words John the Baptist ever said to the religious leaders who were coming to be baptized.
Those were incredibly strong words. Acts 28 gives us some indications why so harsh a phrase was used. On Paul’s way to stand trial in Rome, the apostle’s ship was wrecked on the island of Malta. They were wet and cold, so they built a fire. Then it says, “But when Paul had gathered a bundle of sticks and laid them on the fire, a viper came out because of the heat, and fastened on his hand. And when the natives saw the creature hanging from his hand, they began saying to one another, “Undoubtedly, this man is a murderer!”
Vipers were small snakes that looked very much like sticks and were thus hard to notice. Sometimes while gathering firewood, people would pick up a viper, thinking it was a stick. Since they were often mistaken as sticks, rather than looking dangerous they actually looked useful. Paul was bitten on the hand by a viper that he thought was a stick. These snakes were very poisonous. A viper bite usually resulted in an extremely painful death. That’s why the natives thought Paul must have been a murderer. Only a murderer would have deserved the agonizing death Paul was about to die. Even worse, vipers didn’t just bite their victims; they latched on and wouldn’t let go. Further, they multiplied quickly and congregated in large numbers. You could find “broods” of them in cooler places in the desert, such as in caves and under trees. A desert traveler who was looking for safety and shelter would search out these cooler locations to camp. Unfortunately, the spot that looked as if it offered coolness and rest sometimes offered instead a slow death to the victim who had overlooked a brood of vipers. The place that was supposed to be the safest often turned out to be the least safe place.
Translated into a contemporary metaphor, the word picture Jesus painted would look like this: When a man or woman is going through a dry time in life, lost and tired and searching out a cool, safe place to rest, they need some good news, some living water. They go to the church, the place that is supposed to be the safest – after all, didn’t the Lord say if we came to Him, He would give us rest? In church, the weary soul encounters people who look safe, who seem genuinely interested in helping. These people have their relationships with God together; they are the most concerned about what God wants. But then they inject their venom of performance based religion and the seeker finds that their strength, health and very spiritual life is sapped. When the person wants to leave, the “vipers” latch on and won’t let go.
The book goes on to talk about how this performance based religion saps our joy and the sense of blessing we first had as believers. Its interesting that Jesus used these types of metaphors – a “brood of vipers” a “wolf in sheep’s clothing.” He is telling us that dangerous men don’t actually look dangerous. They look like Bible-believing Christians. They look useful and innocent. But they are not. And if we are only looking for a sign above the door that says “Now Entering a Cult” or “Prepare to Be Spiritually Abused – All Ye that Enter Here” then we are in danger of disregarding Jesus’ warnings.
8 comments:
Dang. This is so revelatory… I truly think everybody who goes through Teen Mania should read this.
I wonder if they’d ever make it required reading ;]
December 8, 2009 8:58 AM
shyvioletgirl said…
Anyone else remember people starting to pray like Ron (pacing and loud) or speaking in tongues that sounded alike? Talk about performing.
December 8, 2009 6:16 PM
h. said…
ohhh yes, that was fairly common. some of us made fun of people who prayed like that…but i totally remember it happening.
December 8, 2009 9:17 PM
Provender said…
Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse is a classic. You might also want to check out Ron Enroth’s Churches That Abuse and Steven Martin’s The Heresy of Mind control. Both of those are now online and available free. Johnson and VanVonderen, it is believed, coined the term “spiritual abuse.” Enroth’s book gives examples of controlling cult-like behavior in different Bible-believing groups. Martin’s book is a long examination of techniques abusers use and is fascinating reading. Links to both of those can be found on the Provender spiritual abuse site.
December 9, 2009 9:15 AM
Hillary said…
This is one of the most helpful books I’ve read on the subject. Also by vanVonderen, “Tired of Trying to Measure Up” is invaluable for those trapped in a deadly cycle of works-based religious effort (perfectionism, “trying”, etc).
Provender (comment above) is an amazing resource for spiritual abuse recovery materials.
December 9, 2009 12:10 PM
Hillary said…
From secular sources, two of the best books I’ve read dealing with understanding a cult-like, high demand environment are: Combatting Cult Mind Control by Steve Hassan, and Take Back Your Life by Janja Lalich.
December 9, 2009 12:13 PM
Chris said…
Hey,
May I recommend “Grace Awakening” by Charles Swindoll? It is a beautiful look at what it means to live and be saved by grace. It is rock solid biblically and focused on God. Hope God uses this to bring joy and healing.
I had a great year at Teen Mania (02-03)and my understanding is that most of the experiences are positive. However, I know that peoples’ experiences span the spectrum, and I am hoping and praying for healing for you who have been hurt.
December 18, 2009 3:13 PM
Anonymous said…
wow–this is a great post RA–I’m so glad I’m taking time to go thru all these posts on this blog. I’ve got to get this book. It really makes great points in being aware of what is going on at TM, but this also happens in so many churches–something ex-terns will encounter when they re-enter the ‘real world’–unfortunately, spiritual abuse isn’t only at TM.
Another good book to read is called “Grace Plus Nothing”
January 22, 2010 10:02 AM