This past weekend, 20/20 aired a scathing expose on the widespread abuse happening within Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Churches (IFB). You can watch it here. (2021 Update: It seems ABC does not have this linked anymore. You can watch the first part on YouTube here.)
The IFB is a loose association of churches that also have their own “reform schools” for troubled teens. The stories of what happened at these reform schools, in the name of God, makes the Honor Academy look like a trip to Disney World.
The crimes against these kids are heinous, evil, and despicable. And like us, they are banding together in online communities and breaking their silence for the very first time.
Their stories remind me that the Honor Academy is not the first, the last, or even the worst of spiritually and physically abusive environments. It’s heartbreaking and its wrong on every single level.
Thankfully, our voices are growing louder – we are just one of many groups online that is exposing abuses that we experienced in the name of God:
Master’s Commission – My Cult Life
Sovereign Grace Ministries Survivors
Survivors of Fundamental Baptist Cult Abuse (2021 Update: Facebook group has since been deleted or its privacy settings have been private.)
All of us who have survived abusive situations are left with an aching question: Now what?
Is it possible to untangle the true God from the Christian terrorists who have formed us? This is the question that Honor Academy alumnus, Brooke, asks on her blog, in response to the 20/20 episode.
It takes great courage to move beyond the fear, to let yourself question, to tell your story, to change your understanding of Christ and church – especially when we’ve been told these things can lead us to hell.
Brooke’s hope is the same as mine:
And so, my hope is that my words…would begin to untangle this mess of mixed up doctrine, spiritual abuse, misconceptions and wrong definitions. I don’t claim to know much, but I do know God is love and Amazing Grace has set me free. I know that no matter where you are or how confused or angry you are because of what Christian terrorists have done to you, Jesus offers life to the fullest and He desires to bring you into a deep peace.
16 comments:
Mike said…
I’ve been a member of three different Sovereign Grace Churches, and I’ve never experienced the kind of abuses they talk about at Survivors. I’m not denying that the stories are true, and if they are then there are a lot of pastors at a few churches within the ministry that need to realign their priorities and care for individuals more than the reputation of the church, and I’m in prayer that this will happen.
However I don’t think it’s fair to lump them in as blatant abusers. Teen Mania, which I’ve also had *extensive* experience with, purveys a spirit of legalism and prideful unquestionable leadership which trickles down from the top of the ministry down. SGM is a church-planting ministry in which serious and sinful mishandling of serious issues has occurred, but within which God is definitely moving, I’m a witness to it. SGM has problems that need to be addressed if even half of the stories at Survivors are true, but having spent 20 years within SGM I can honestly that abuse isn’t the norm or the status quo as it is at the HA.
I appreciate that you have a heart to minister to all those who have experienced spiritual abuse, but you ought to be careful not to alienate every ministry honestly seeking to see Christ glorified, just because they have a few problems. We live in a fallen world, and there will be sin and pride that manifests in every denomination, doctrine and church leader. When we start disqualifying every ministry for their perceived flaws, then we really are creating devisions within the body, which I know is the last thing you want.
I’m one of those recovering from the abusive policies of the HA and I’ve experienced a lot of grace and relief from this site, in seeing that my situation wasn’t unique. I was the first to post my story on this blog. But now I’m uncomfortable being here, as the church I serve, the church I helped to plant, has now been labelled as part of an abusive ministry. How can I be made to feel this is a safe haven when this post has had the effect of making me feel like the bad guy?
April 13, 2011 1:44 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Hey Mike,
I didn’t mean to suggest that every SGM church is abusive, but I did not make that clear in the post. My point in linking to those websites was just to show that there are many other people out there, just like us, who are telling their stories and finding healing together.
SGM is probably similar to Master’s Commission in that not all Master’s Commission programs are bad…I’m sorry if I implied otherwise.
April 13, 2011 1:52 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Mike, I just came across this testimony tonight about sexual abuse in a particular SGM church. It would appear that those at the top, particularly CJ Mahaney, are aware of that abuse and have not responded correctly to it…I’m no expert on SGM but here is the link if you are interested:
http://thewartburgwatch.com/2011/04/12/gospel-coalition-cj-mahaney-is-adored-while-pain-continues-in-sovereign-grace-ministries/
April 13, 2011 10:40 PM
Mike said…
Yes I read it. It was also posted on Survivor and Refuge. Further reading of the comments shows that the first thing the leadership of the church did was confront the abuser. Then the second time, a pastor actually said to the perp…ver batim “Are you going to call the police or will I?”
Throughout the process, I’m not sure why the family of the victim wasn’t informed that the perpetrator would be pleading guilty and that their child would not be called to the stand. I can’t judge that. What did the church in particular or SGM in general have to gain from keeping that information quiet? For all any of us know, there might have been legal reasons.
Here’s the other thing, for as long as I’ve been a part of SGM, there have been very strict guidelines for children’s ministry (there must be at least two adults in the room at all times, no one can take a child to the bathroom alone). To be involved in children’s ministry, a background check had to be done. Now these may be policies that have been put in place only within the last few years, and maybe even as a result of the molestation that occurred in 1998, even if that is the case, then it would certainly seem that SGM got on the ball to ensure that nothing of the sort happened again.
That a child could be molested and that the perp would continue to be allowed to serve in children’s ministry is kind of mind-boggling to me. If that happened in any of the churches I’ve been a member of, that person would be removed from that position and possibly from church membership. That’s always the way it’s been, at every SGM church I’ve been a part of. There are a lot of details left out here. I would honestly really like to hear the other side of this story, and what the leadership have to say.
April 14, 2011 3:27 AM
Mike said…
From what I understand of the story, CJ Mahaney went out of his way to try and mediate a reconciliation between the pastor in question and the victims. The man is in charge of a ministry that included 95 churches in 7 countries. The fact that he found this issue serious enough to personally meet with the victims speaks volumes. When was the last time you had an issue with TM and Ron Luce agreed to talk to you personally about it?
I’ll admit the leadership of Fairfax sounds sketchy and yeah, they do have a history of problems. This falls ultimately at the feet of the church’s pastor though. I don’t believe there’s cause to drag SGM, CJ or Josh Harris through the mud. As I’ve said, this is a ministry and body of local churches in which God is moving, but it is made up of fallen human beings, and when something goes wrong or a situation gets mishandled it doesn’t necessarily equal a lifelong pattern of spiritual abuse.
I am fervently praying that God will reconcile those in his body who have grievance, but more importantly I’m praying for healing and wholeness to the victims and their family, but their main grievance doesn’t seem to be that their children were molested but that the leadership didn’t do enough for them despite the author’s own admission that he “forgave” the first person (I put forgave in quotes as true forgiveness isn’t something you regret later), and conveniently left out that the second perp was arrested and tried for his crime. One thing that raised my eyebrow was that he stated his family left SGM because of “overbearing emphasis on personal sin and the cross.” Not because of the molestation, but because of a doctrinal problem(isn’t “emphasis on personal sin and the cross” actually the gospel? What else is there to emphasize?)His sole concern seems to be bashing SGM.
And this is my problem with both Survivors and Refuge. You express a love for TM and a very clear and sincere desire to see TM turn from it’s current course and make amends with those hurt. These blogs only goal seems to be to gather as many disgruntled former attendees as possible and rub salt on their wounds to further rile them up in an attempt to discredit or destroy a ministry that helps thousands to discover the love of Christ.
April 14, 2011 3:27 AM
Mike said…
I’ve been a part of this ministry for the better part of my life. It was the doctrine and grace and acceptance offered to me at Sovereign Grace that allowed me to finally shake off the feelings of being a failure that Teen Mania left me with. I know my pastor personally. My community group leader is also my best friend and was a groomsman at my wedding. I guarantee you that if I confronted them with sin or questioned a decision they would not avoid my questions or blow me off. If I chose to leave the church they would wish me well, (though they might ask me to train a new sound guy first 😉
My point is, Sovereign Grace has been my family. They have lovingly cared for me and been an instrument of my growth in Christ and never have any of them asked me for anything in return. I know that there have been people who have problems doctrinally, who have disagreed with some church’s policy, who have even been hurt because of a leader’s sin, and I don’t in any way want to minimize their pain, but from what I’ve seen, their experiences are the exception.
Sorry about the novel. =) Obviously I feel strongly about this. Thanks as always for the forum. Your bro in Christ,
-Mike Doherty
April 14, 2011 3:30 AM
Recovering Alumni said…
Thanks for chiming in Mike. I’m so glad that your church has been a place of refuge and healing for you. Obviously, I would never want to do ANYTHING to minimize that. It sounds like you are well aware of what is healthy and appropriate and that is the most important thing!
April 14, 2011 8:55 AM
Anonymous said…
Please be very careful about assuming that SGM is successful with the number of churches they claim. Their actual membership is, in my opinion, low and many of the churches have spotty membership.
The number of abuses claimed on the Internet, attributed to SGM and its former permutations as PDI and the Gathering, is rather startling. Our blog, The Wartburg Watch, will be looking at the supposed “success” of this supposed church planting group in the near future.
Neither one of us have ever been members of SGM. We have become convinced that there are problems by corresponding with members, visiting a church, and reading Mahaney and Harris books.We have no dog in this hunt. So, why are we so concerned? Maybe we are gullible and easily deceived women as is taught by some within the larger Reformed movement.
Frankly, for a church movement to be around as long as they have and to have so few members currently and so many former members who are not happy with their church experience, appears to point to a problem with a capital P.
Also, why does a church need to constantly change its’ name? Could they be running from something? There is some interesting history for people to explore. Just start googling the names of the principles.
Finally, we have been trying to get people to write a positive testimony about SGM on our blog, to no avail. SGM tried to set up a site for people to do this but the testimonies are spotty.
Mike’s testimony is very, very rare when it comes to SGM and he does a good job in finding blogs that print something negative about SGM and writing about his “positive” experience. In so doing, he negates the horrible experiences that many have testified to on the Internet. He needs to think through how he exhibits compassion to those harmed. He appears to blow them off. That is a problem.
Keep shining your light on the abuses in the ministry. You are a light bearer. We are very interested in your story and will write about it in the near future.
Dee
PS I had a hard time posting my name-it kept saying I had illegal characters.
April 14, 2011 10:24 AM
Mike said…
Well I can attest that the name change from PDI came about because the leadership felt that “People of Destiny International” felt a little too “new age” and felt that “Sovereign Grace” would better reflect the reformed doctrine that the ministry had begun to embrace. I have no idea what “The Gathering” is outside of the Highlander movies, but it’s not a name I’ve ever heard associated with SGM or PDI.
I in no way minimalize or trivialize the suffering of any victims of any kind of abuse, and your smug assertion that I’m “blowing them off” seriously offends me. As does your (and Refuge and Survivor’s) penchant for writing off anyone who defends Sovereign Grace on your blog, as “brainwashed”. I have my own mind and my own experiences and you’ll have to forgive me if I’m not inclined to immediately burn my church down based on your attacks.
I’m not denying any abuses taking place, and I’m certainly not without compassion for the victims as you seem so eager to believe. But those responsible were punished. The story told on your blog has many inconsistencies which I would like explained. If “Wallace” was so incensed over how the church handled these issues, why did he remain there for eleven years, and leave citing a doctrinal difference? Why was a man who had molested a child allowed to continue in children’s ministry, in a group of churches that in my experience puts children’s safety above every other priority? Why did Wallace leave out that the second perp turned himself in and pled guilty? What were the questions that he repeatedly asserted were ignored by leadership? These aren’t nitpicks. They are valid questions. I’m hearing one side of these events, and because I want to hear the other side, you’re telling me that I’m “blowing off” the victims. No. I simply want to make an informed decision.
April 14, 2011 12:12 PM
Mike said…
As far as your attacking church membership numbers, I’m not even sure where to begin. Since when do numbers have anything to do with whether the Lord moves among his people? According to scripture, whenever two or more are gathered in God’s name he is there. I missed the part where it said “if there’s not a large spike in attendance, however, your church is a failure.” Sovereign Grace is committed to the planting of local churches, not mega-church entities. The focus is on personal and intimate discipleship. I would rather attend a small church that feels like a family than a 5000-person-strong congregation in which the pastor didn’t even know my name.
Apart from equating attendance with success, your research would appear to be woefully inaccurate. I was sent out on the current church plant I’m on now by a body with somewhere between 600-800 members. Covenant Life records close to 2000 at every meeting. Grace Church Peoria, where I and my wife are members currently, has gone from a team of 30 church planters to close to 150 members in the course of a year and a half. So while we may not boast Mars Hill’s numbers, we’re certainly not hurting for attendees.
You may find that most members of SG churches don’t comment on your blogs due to the negativity, bitterness and vitriol associated with them. I’ve pored over the comments section and there seems to be precious little healing going on. I’ve also noted that those few who have defended SGM and spoke of how God worked and moved mightily in their lives, were met with scorn, derision and disbelief. They’ve been written off as “brainwashed” and told that they have no compassion for those who have been hurt. Most would rather go back to church and continue to experience the love of Christ, than engage in a long-drawn out battle with an angry group that has already disqualified them from the conversation. If you’re so concerned with healing for the victim, then why does your goal seem to be nothing short of completely discrediting CJ and SGM, especially when you can read the testimonies of those who have come to the lord because of SGM? (that is if you were inclined to look and listen.)
April 14, 2011 12:14 PM
Recovering Alumni said…
Carrying this over to the TWW would be a better place for this discussion. 🙂
April 14, 2011 12:25 PM
Mike said…
You say you have no experience with SGM, that you “Have no dog in this fight”, and yet you completely dismiss me, my 20 years within the ministry, and my testimony, as invalid because…why? Where does it hurt you to actually allow opposing viewpoints to be heard? Isn’t that the tactic of the abuser, not the abused? I’m coming from the standpoint of a believer who has experienced spiritual abuse within the Teen Mania ministry, and as a man who has been in Sovereign Grace for his entire adult life. I know what I’m talking about. I have significantly more to add to the conversation than you’re willing to give me the opportunity to give voice to.
I’ll be in prayer that the Holy Spirit will work in your hearts and allow you see past your own misplaced anger, and take a hard look at the many people whose lives have been changed, who hearts and eyes have been open to the love of Christ, simply because they found a local church where they could experience that love. I’ll continue to pray for healing and joy for the victims of abuse and sin the world over, without feeling the need to demonize or take vengeance on those who made mistakes or acted sinfully. Rather I’ll pray for them as well. It’s God, and not blogs, that change men’s hearts.
Dee, I do truly believe that you are doing what you feel is right, and though I think it to be misguided, I appreciate the heart for victims that you display. I hope that we can choose to disagree while still maintaining an atmosphere of respect for each other. May God bless your efforts with fruit that leads to improvement in SGM and reconciliation with those who have been hurt, and may you experience the love of God daily.
Your Brother in Christ.
Mike Doherty
April 14, 2011 12:32 PM
Mike said…
Sorry about that RA. I’m done. I promise.
April 14, 2011 12:35 PM
jeff said…
I may not have a dog in this fight in one sense, but in another I have seen where situations like this can go.
In my best and optimistic opinion churches who have abuse issues arise may deal with it openly and in the light and hopefully they completely purge any such abuse from themselves while also seeing to the healing of those who partook in church activities only to be hurt.
OR….they continue forward while protecting the abusers, suppressing the abused, and instead of open honesty before God and man they hide their failings like cockroaches when the kitchen light gets turned on. A little leaven leavens the whole lump after all.
This is a fight where I saw the bad guys win, and I wouldn’t wish such an end on the worst church in the world. Although to progressively get worse and worse instead of fixing the problem will lead to at least a comparable state I am sorry to say.
April 14, 2011 12:48 PM
Future Cult Leader said…
Organized Religion is one of the worlds greatest problems – not solutions.
April 15, 2011 11:16 PM
Sisterlisa said…
I came out of an IFB church and they are currently in a civil suit with a Jane Doe who grew up and got herself a lawyer…meanwhile the pastor’s son disappears rather quickly and another Jane Doe’s story is coming to the surface. 2 Jane Doe’s in one church within ten years, same pastor. :/
May 3, 2011 10:24 PM