Why do we keep going back to the people who hurt us? Why does a hurt and exploited intern return for a 2nd year? Why does a dismissed intern return for another shot at graduating? Sometimes, the answer is “Stockholm Syndrome.” The term was coined when hostages in a Stockholm bank robbery bonded so deeply […]
On Why So Many Interns Love the Honor Academy Read More »
Lately, these three words have been stirring in my soul. Truth Learning and recognizing the truth isn’t always welcome news. It messes up our lives and our plans. Discovering that we’ve built our life on untruths (I have to perform for God to love and accept me, I will never be good enough unless I’m
3 Words That Stir My Soul Read More »
1) Jeromy J – You Bring God Pleasure, Not Disgust. (2021 update: blog has gone down. Link goes to Wayback Machine) 2) Rachel Held Evans on Grace: The ultimate denial of grace, then, is not to misunderstand it theologically, but to withhold it. 3) Brene Brown on Choosing Worthiness – A Protest Against Perfection (2021 update:
Friday: Links I Like Read More »
Perhaps one of the greatest things we need to unlearn after our time at Teen Mania is our destructive attitudes towards ourselves. This practice of devaluing every intern is so commonplace at the Honor Academy that we internalize the self-criticism and it actually becomes part of our inner Christian life. Being hard on yourself is
Self-Abuse or Self-Compassion? Read More »
On Being a Worldchanger: Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you. I Thess. 4:11 On Confrontation: Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. Those who sin are
Verses You Won’t Hear at Teen Mania Read More »
This is a list of resources that I’ve found helpful on my journey to recovery. This isn’t a comprehensive list by any means but these are the ones that stick out most to me when I think about my recovery. Feel free to share anything in the comments that you’ve found healing. List of Nationwide
Recovery Resources Read More »
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard Christians chalk up their failed evangelistic efforts to the excuse, “Of course people are rejecting our message, the Gospel is offensive to the world!” It’s almost a source of pride for some Christians – the very rejection of their message by the world is seen as
Myth: The Gospel is Offensive Read More »
A few weeks ago, Doug and Wendy Duncan hosted a recovery workshop weekend exclusively for former Honor Academy participants. Since I feel like I’ve already done the majority of my recovery work, I went in large part to show support for my friends. I wasn’t expecting that the weekend would hold any particularly emotional insights
Next week, I promise to get back to the dating/sex/marriage series. But in light of the story yesterday, I wanted to make a few points. First, if there has been any doubt in your mind about Ron Luce’s character and the stories on this website, yesterday’s story should fully convince you. The way he continues
How to Deal with an Unrepentant Abuser Like Ron Luce Read More »
This past weekend, 20/20 aired a scathing expose on the widespread abuse happening within Independent Fundamentalist Baptist Churches (IFB). You can watch it here. (2021 Update: It seems ABC does not have this linked anymore. You can watch the first part on YouTube here.) The IFB is a loose association of churches that also have their
20/20 Exposes Church Abuses Read More »
Here are a few blog posts that stood out to me over the last month. I hope you like them as much as I do! 1) The Allure of Toxic Leaders We are apparently attracted to toxic leaders. Psychological dynamics that lead us to rally around such leaders include a subconscious longing for a parental
I was recently corresponding with a reader who shared about their journey of coming to terms with their Honor Academy experience and I thought it was a great summation of the path many of us take towards recovery: It has only recently occurred to me that my time with TM was really messed up. It’s
The Process is Slow Read More »
I’ve been thinking about my post H.A. experience for a while, I wanted to share it. I left the H.A. in the middle of my second year, spring 2008. I went home with an elitist attitude towards everyone in my church… much to my personality, I’m loud and passionate naturally- whether I’m right or wrong.
Shiloh’s Recovery Story Read More »
(and at Teen Mania, too) I love the resources at Steve McVey’s Gracewalk website. He has a video series on “101 Lies Taught in Church Every Sunday.” The first time I came across his list of lies, I was shocked. These are standard, basic theologies taught in nearly every Protestant church in America! Could they
101 Lies Taught in Church Every Sunday Morning Read More »
Predictably, some commenters on Monday’s post felt the need to specify that you know, grace isn’t cheap. We can’t get forgiven unless we really mean it, etc. God, I’m so tired of that message. Anytime someone tells you that you can only receive grace IF you do/feel/say xyz…they are feeding you bull excrement. (Sadly, well-intentioned
Don’t Piss on the Party! Read More »
Every time this song comes on the radio, it reminds me of the Honor Academy. Sing along in freedom. 🙂 Who cares if you disagree?You are not meWho made you king of anything?So you dare tell me who to be?Who died and made you king of anything? You sound so innocent, all full of good
We’ve heard a lot about spiritual growth and the Christian life at both the Honor Academy and in American evangelicalism. But what exactly does spiritual growth look like? What are the marks of a mature Christian? What does it mean to “be filled with fullness of God”? Is it an intense discipline to rid ourselves
What is Spiritual Growth? Read More »
1) Via Don Miller I don’t believe the aim of the devil is to get us to masturbate, as is taught in so many churches, but rather to get us to project a righteous identity. And The next time you want to impress your friends with your religious devotion, count it as false religion. And
One thing I’ve struggled with for a long time is feeling betrayed by God. Since I was wholeheartedly seeking God and wanting to serve Him, why would he allow me to go into such a spiritually abusive and damaging environment? Have you ever felt that way? This has been a tough one for me. Maybe
The Cult Awareness and Information Library (2021 UPDATE: website is now on Wayback Machine) is an invaluable resource in understanding the emotional and psychological issues we face in recovering from our time at Teen Mania. Even TM supporters or people who may not think of them as a cult might be surprised to find their
Stages in Recovery Read More »
I don’t think we’ve talked very much about the severe disorientation that occurs when you leave such an intense, spiritually abusive group. As you begin to uncover how the group has affected you, a profound sense of confusion and betrayal can overwhelm you. Realizing that things you believed in so strongly may not have been
1) Via the Internet Monk (2021 Update: Blog has since gone down. Link points to Wayback Machine.) I wonder how many Christians believe the center of the Gospel is their own efforts at being “fully surrendered” or obedient? 2) Via Steve McVey: Resting in Abbas Arms Jesus didn’t just come to deliver us from sin. He also
How many of you had/have Dave Hasz living in your head? It’s amazing to me how even after leaving the Honor Academy, his influence remains so strong in our lives. For YEARS, I lived with his continual judgment and disapproval in the back of my mind. I was never good enough to meet his standards
Getting Rid of the Dave Hasz in Your Head Read More »
Frequent commenter, Eric P., is a guest writer at the Quivering Daughters blog. And boy has he has been tearing it up!! In, the Myth of the Lukewarm Christian, Eric unpacks the verse that so often beats us over the head, “So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you
“Lukewarm” Christians and Spiritual Abuse Read More »
At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what Teen Mania is doing. Teen Mania is going to do whatever its going to do. The question is – what are you going to do? It’s great that we’ve been able to bring these hidden issues into the light. It’s great that each one of
