I know that while I was at Teen Mania, I judged, condemned and generally hurt other people. Sadly, I can’t remember every name, face and incident. To all of my fellow interns 97-99: If I confronted you for something stupid, I want you to know I’m sorry. If I shunned you, I’m sorry. If I […]
Now That I Am Out… An Apology Read More »
From what I’ve seen, the Honor Academy’s “counseling” techniques are woefully inadequate. I’ve heard of many cases where life long problems stemming from severe pain and hurt are addressed with three overly simplistic ideas: Spend time alone with God Figure out everything you did wrong Then stop it This Mad TV sketch shows just how
Sometimes it can be hard to know who to take advice from, especially when people you love and respect have 2 opposing opinions. Here’s a little test that might help. If someone is advising you to do or be something in particular, will they personally benefit from it? Will they benefit financially? Will their ego
Who Should You Listen To? Read More »
There is no doubt that Teen Mania leadership is authoritarian and controlling. Even the fans will admit that, though they say it’s in service to a good cause. However, can top-down control ever really effect heart transformation? Can spiritual growth really come from a forced obedience to a set of external rules? Lately, I’ve been
Leadership and Authority Read More »
The journey back from spiritual abuse inevitably involves doubt. We doubt ourselves, the church, and even God. Maybe, especially God. Its hard to know which way is up when everything you believed in and poured out your life for is called into question. If you were spiritually abused at Teen Mania, what does that mean
We’ve examined several of the most popular teachings at the Honor Academy as given by Ron Luce, David Hasz and Heath Stoner. But we all know that lectures aren’t the only way we learn. In fact, I’d say we primarily learn about God, ourselves and others through the way we are treated. Lectures may give
Honor Academy Lesson #1 Read More »
A friend recently sent me this excerpt from the book Captive Hearts, Captive Minds. I haven’t read the book, but this passage is outstanding. I hope this gives you the freedom to feel your feelings. The emergence of anger is one of the first signs of recovery. Anger is a normal and healthy reaction to the
Anger is Part of Recovery Read More »
There are several really great blogs about that cover the topic of spiritual abuse. Pushing Jesus specifically focuses on recovering from spiritual abuse using the 11 steps. I found this post particularly helpful in recognizing the difference between God and the people who abuse in His name. I’ve reprinted it here, but the blog is worth a visit: Refer
I’ve been out of the Honor Academy for quite a while now…enough time to graduate from college, start a career and get married. Throughout the years I’ve dealt with various issues in my life related to TM. Each time they were resolved, I would think, “Yes, now I am FINALLY done with healing from TM.”
How Long Does it Take? Read More »
Taking a week off from the world of TM has been a wonderful thing. Spending time with trusted friends and having more mental space than usual has allowed me to have some new insights on where I am in my journey towards spiritual and emotional healing. Even though I purposely didn’t think about TM, or
Breaking Free from Old Paradigms Read More »
Just wanted to remind everybody of these very wise words*, via the SGM Survivors blog. You are not out of the cult until it is more important to you to see the victims healed of hurt, than to see the abusers shielded from the possibility of hurt feelings…. IF they have TRULY repented with great contrition
You Are Not Out of the Cult Until… Read More »
There is no spiritual growth without love. None. Absolutely zero. We can see this most clearly in I Corinthians 13. If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don’t love, I’m nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God’s Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain
Spiritual Growth Without Love = Nothing Read More »
Have you noticed that ever since the conference call we’ve had more combative comments and we are hearing less and less from those who are in the process of healing from their time at TM? That is bass-ackwards. Some people have mentioned that they don’t feel as safe anymore with all the new people in
This is a Refuge; Not a Debate Read More »
Even though what we’ve been through has been devastating, its nice to look back and realize the things that we have gained as a result. I came across this great post at What Really Matters that reminds us about the good things that can come out of our experiences with spiritually abusive groups. I would like to
I have been following your blog with much excitement since my wife (HA alumni-99) told me about it several months ago. Although I never attended the Honor Academy, I religiously attended ATF’s through out high school and also went on two TM mission trips. In fact, I talked my wife into going to the Honor
I’m not interested in training to live an “honorable” and “disciplined” life. I’m not interested in fasting to get my “vision from God” or to make a 5 year plan. I’m not interested in watching my brothers and sisters lives so closely that I can make a list of whats wrong with them and confront
My Interests Have Changed Read More »
I was catching up with an old TM friend today. We had a beautiful time of sharing and the conversation inevitably turned to talk of mutual friends and acquaintances from our time at the HA. I was saddened, but not surprised, to hear of several friends who are unable to even talk about their time
The Stories That Are Never Told Read More »
This weekend we celebrate Independence Day. But an even more significant independence day occurred two thousand years ago. An excerpt from the Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse: The Christian life begins with freedom from dead works, from religious systems, and from all human attempts 5 comments: Recovering Alumni says: July 3, 2010 at 10:37 AMReply
Celebrating Freedom Read More »
Oh. My. Goodness. Look at what this place has become! I can honestly say that I NEVER expected this blog to gather such a wonderful and healing community together. One year ago today, I attended a seminar on understanding and recovering from a cult. I was struck at the similarities between the experiences he was
It’s My Blog Birthday! Read More »
RT @RickWarren: Anyone who claims to believe in grace but doesn’t freely GIVE IT to everyone is a liar. See 1 John 4:20 Mark Driscol 8 comments: CarrieSaum said… Grace for and to everyone. A good reminder. June 4, 2010 9:54 AM Anonymous said… RA: Do you give grace to Dave Hasz & Ron Luce?
“So, I’m convinced your deepest problem is not with the cigarettes you smoke or the alcohol you drink in secret. It’s not in the slander you speak and the gossip you cherish. It’s not the pornography you pleasure yourself with when no one’s looking. It’s not about the baby you aborted; it’s not that you
What’s Our Problem? Read More »
I really, really do. And so do you.* God does not expect us to be good Christians. He knows that in our flesh “dwells no good thing.” Its absolutely impossible for us to become better by our own efforts. The funny thing is – we don’t realize this (and I’m speaking to myself here). I
I Suck as a Christian Read More »
This thought is only partially developed, and its a little rough around the edges. Stick with me and maybe you can help me fully flesh it out in the comments. Firstly, actions speak louder than words. If you tell me that God is love when you are filled with hate – which lesson do you
What is preventing you from receiving God’s love, right now? You are the child God always wanted.
Another Question for the Day Read More »
Did you know that? God actually likes you. Not just loves you. He likes you. He enjoys you and thinks you are fun to be with. I used to think of God as kind of a distant family member – they love you because they have to, but they don’t exactly call you up on Saturday to
