83) Another Story
82) Sabrina’s Story
81) Allie’s Story: part 1, part 2
80) Mark’s Story
79) Megyn’s Story
78) Lindsay’s Story
77) Carl’s Story
76) Steven’s Story
75) Nancy’s Story: I was a Team Leader and Project Director
74) Robin’s Story
73) Sophie’s Story
72) Kate’s Story
71) Elisabeth’s Story part 1, part 2
70) Jessica’s Story: A Global Expeditions Review
69) Noelle’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3
68) Carol’s Story: A Parent’s Perspective
67) Nicole’s Story
66) Lacey’s Story (Global Expeditions)
65) Ashley’s Story
64) Grace’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3
63) Nick’s Story
62) Melissa’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5 (ESOAL)
61) Another Parent’s Perspective
60) Kara’s Story
59) Keith’s Story
58) Gabrielle’s Story (Global Expeditions missions)
57) Eliza’s Story
56) Nicole’s Story
55) Emily’s Story
54) An Acquire the Fire Story
53) Stacy’s Story
52) Anna’s Story part 1, part 2
51) Hannah’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3 & Behind the Scenes with Heath Stoner
50) Jamie’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4
49) Meagan’s Story
48) Drea’s Story (missions and ATF)
47) Hayley’s Story: How a Pro-TM Alumnus Learned to Listen to Our Stories
46) A Parent’s Perspective
45) Sydney’s Story
44) Courtney’s Story
43) Emma’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3
42) Hosanna’s Story
41) Jillian’s Story
40) Chase’s Story
39) Rick’s Story
38) Brandi’s Story part 1, part 2
37) Kate’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3
36) AB’s Story
35) Mark’s Story part 1, part 2
34) Mariana’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3
33) Krista’s Story
32) Kimberly’s Story
31) Shannon’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6
30) Lorraine’s Story (Global Expeditions missions)
29) Ashley’s Story part 1, part 2
28) Niki’s Story
27) Stephanie’s Story part 1, part 2
26) Derek’s Story part 1, part 2
25) Robbie’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3 (Global Expeditions missions)
24) CRs Story part 1, part 2 (Honor Academy of the Ozarks)
23) Lauren’s Story part 1, part 2
22) Jacqueline’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3
21) Jessica’s Story part 1, part 2
20) Karah’s Story part 1, part 2
19) Shannon’s Story
18) Matthew’s Story
17) Maggie’s Story
16) Amber’s Story part 1, part 2
15) Ellen’s Story part 1, part 2
14) Katie’s Story part 1, part 2 part 3
13) Carrie’s Story
12) Caleb’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3
11) Lindsay’s Story part 1, part 2
10) Andrew’s Story
9) Deborah’s Story
8) Ashley’s Story
7) Erin’s Story part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4
6) Anonymous
5) Danielle’s Story (Global Expeditions missions)
4) Shannon’s Story
3) Sonshine’s Story
2) Jennifer’s Story
1) Mike’s Story
I think this is a very important post. It sounds like the voices crying out for someone to listen. I’m sure there are silent voices all over wishing they could cry out these very samethings. 67 stories and counting because I am typing mine out today as well. I’m thankful for all those who were so brave in letting their stories be told.
This Donald Miller excerpt reminded me of HA. I was a fundamentalist christian once. It lasted a summer. I was in that same phase of trying to discipline myself to “behave” as if I loved light and not to “behave” as if I loved darkness. I used to get really ticked about preachers who talked too much about grace, because they tempted me to not be disciplined. I figured what people needed was a kick in the butt, and if I failed at godliness, it was because those around me weren’t trying hard enough. I believed if word got out about grace, the whole church was going to turn into a brothel. I was a real jerk, I think. I hit my self-righteous apex while working at a fundamentalist Christian camp in Colorado. I was living in a cabin in the Rockies with about seven other guys, and the whole lot of us fell into this militant Christianity that says you should live like a Navy SEAL for Jesus. I am absolutely ashamed to admit this now. We would fast all the time, pray together twice each day, memorize scripture, pat each other on the back and that sort of thing. Summer was coming to a close, and we were getting pretty proud of ourselves because we had read a great deal of Scripture and hadn’t gotten anybody pregnant. We were concerned, however, about what to do after we split up, thinking that if we didn’t have each other we’d fall apart and start selling drugs to children. One of us, and it was probably me, decided to create a contract that listed things we wouldn’t do for an entire year, like watch television or smoke pipes or listen to music. It was the constitution of our self-righteous individualism. The contract stated that we would read the Bible every day, pray, and memorize certain long passages of Scripture. We sat around one night with pen and paper and offered sacrifices, each of us trying to outman the other with bigger and brighter lambs for the slaughter. We were the direct opposite of a frat house; instead of funneling our testosterone into binge drinking and rowdy parties, we were manning up to Jesus, bumping Him chest to chest as it were, like Bible salesmen on steroids.
I hitched a ride back to Oregon and got an apartment in the suburbs where I didn’t know anybody and nobody knew me. I had this necklace on my neck, this string of beads, each bead representing one of the guys in the contract, and a cross in the center, a reminder that we had all gone in on this thing, that we were going to be monks for a year. At first it was easy, living in a new place and all, a new city, but after a while that necklace started to choke me. The first of the exploits to go was the Bible. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to read it or didn’t agree with it, I would just forget. It sat on the floor next to my bed beneath a pile of dirty clothes. Out of sight, out of mind. I’d forget about it for a month until I cleaned my room, and then I’d lift up a pile of dirty clothes and there would be my Bible, staring up at me like a dead pet. One evening I was walking around Pioneer Square in downtown Portland when I noticed a pipe and tobacco store across the street. I decided I’d step inside and take a look-see. I came out with a new pipe that I swore I wouldn’t smoke till the year was up. It was a good deal, you know, about fifteen dollars or something. I couldn’t pass up the sale on tobacco, either, even though it would go bad before the contract expired. I sat down in Pioneer Square with the skateboarder and musicians, chess players and coffee drinkers. I decided to pack my pipe, just to get a feel for it. I stuck it in my mouth to bring back that sensation, the feel of the stem between my teeth. Then I lit it. Then I smoked it. After the Bible and the pipe thing fell apart, I decided to yield a bit on the television aspect of the contract. There was this indie pizza place down the street from my apartment, Escape from New York Pizza or something like that, and they had a big screen television. I’d go down and watch Monday night football, which was a double sin because on Mondays we were supposed to be fasting. I figured non of the guys would mind if I switched the fasting day to Wednesday, just to shuffle things around. I shuffled so many fasting days around that after three months I was supposed to go twelve days without eating. I think I fasted twice that year. Maybe. I hated the entire year. Hated it. I felt like a failure every morning. I hated looking in the mirror because I was a flop. I got ticked at all the people who were having fun with their lives. I’d walk home from the pizza place feeling criminal for my mischief, feeling as though I were not cut out to be Christian, wondering what my punishment would be for disobeying God. Everything was failing. I’d get letters from the other guys, too, some of them were doing quite well. I wouldn’t answer them. Not only was I failing God, I was failing my fundamentalist brothers!
Yeah, it makes me sad when people overlook these stories, saying it’s not enough people or we’re just weak. There are many other people out there who have not shared there story and said as much, who don’t know about the RA site, and who just don’t want to think about that part of their life. But these stories need to be taken seriously, we’re talking about people over and over feeling like they were not good enough, could not be heard, were not loved etc. and I have yet to see TM say explicitly we are sorry and this was wrong. I have seen TM give brush off apologies where they do not seem to try to understand the issues. And they do not seem to feel anything over the damage that has been caused. So sad!
Anonymous… Your story sounds like something we can relate to and you tell it very well. Very thought out and eye opening. I think there are plenty of interns out there that are walking a similar path. The only thing about it is, it’s hard to break that pattern of “navy seals for Jesus” and understand it fully.
I’m just now hearing about this stuff.. I am shocked and so disappointed in the way you all have been treated.. My god.. I am praying for you all… Please know that there is NOTHING that can or will ever make Him love you less. And that in your brokeness He is near.And our Father is NOTHING like they are making Him out to be.. wow.. Just floored. I pray the Lord restores to you the joy of your salvation.. Having suffered spiritual abuse myself many years ago I feel your pain.. So very sorry
Pingback: C.R.’s Story: Honor Academy of the Ozarks Part 1 | My Teen Mania Experience
Pingback: If You Leave the Honor Academy Early…. – My Teen Mania Experience
Pingback: MSNBC Airs Documentary on Honor Academy Abuses – My Teen Mania Experience
Pingback: Let’s Not Get Hung Up on the Word “Cult” – My Teen Mania Experience
Pingback: David Hasz Hired by Bethany College of Missions ~ My Teen Mania Experience – My Teen Mania Experience
Pingback: Is Teen Mania a Cult? Conclusion – My Teen Mania Experience
Pingback: Is It Legal to REQUIRE Donations? – Recovering Alumni
Pingback: Ron Luce Responds to Cult Accusations on MSNBC – Recovering Alumni